Here's your surprise! Enjoy!
It's been a while since we looked in on William J. LePetomane . . . I mean, President E626 and his Joint Chiefs of Staff, so here goes.
Warning: This chapter probably isn't as funny as the previous chapters, but it's a set-up for the next chapter. I hope that you enjoy it.
*****
Location: The President’s office in Washington, D.C..
Those Present: President E626 and his Joint Chiefs of Staff.
*****
The President was sitting at his desk, looking over the latest reports from the Front. His smile stretched from ear to ear, and he began to laugh hysterically.
The Joint Chiefs of Staff breathed a sigh of relief. If the war had gone badly, their heads would have rolled.
WarMaster Marsden said, ‘As you can see, Mr. President, almost the entire continent is now yours! You now control practically every luxury on the continent.’
The President stopped laughing. ‘What do you mean, practically, WarMaster?’
WarMaster Marsden replied, ‘I only meant that there is a deposit of Gems in the mountains that isn’t yet under your control, Mr. President.’
‘Oh! I want it, and I want it immediately!’
‘Yes, Mr. President.’
‘Now! Did you bring what I ordered you to?’
‘Of course, Mr. President.’
‘Very good! Oh, Miss Stein, would you come in here, please?’
A few seconds later, Miss Stein entered the room, walking as seductively as ever.
‘Yes, Pooky?’
The President said, ‘I have some gifts for you, my Beloved.’ He snapped his fingers.
Major Tribute quickly entered the room, carrying a couple of presents.
Miss Stein squealed with delight. ‘Oh, Pooky! You’re so good to me! What’s in the boxes?’
Smirking, The President said, ‘Why don’t you open them, you wacky broad?’
She opened the big box first, and pulled out a fur coat.
‘Oh, my God! Is this real Mayan fur?!!’
‘Not anymore it is. We now control the Furs, so that is the first American Fur coat, and it’s all yours, my love!’
Grabbing the smaller box off the table, she ripped it open. She pulled out what had to be a 10 Karat Diamond! Stunned, she held it up to the light, and watched it dance.
She hugged The President, and whispered something in his ear.
The President said, ‘Later, dear. Enjoy your presents. I’ll join you in the boudoir later.’
Miss Stein rushed out of the room singing happily.
General AutomatedTeller thought, ‘She’s a bass.’
After the door had closed behind Miss Stein, The President said, ‘What is the status of the Railroads, General CommandoBob?’
General CommandoBob replied, ‘The Railroad is progressing very nicely. We’ve run into a bit of trouble, but it’s nothing that we can’t overcome.’
‘What type of trouble, General?’
‘Well, Sir, we’ve run into some quicksand. We’re going to send a couple of Horses up there to see if it’s safe!’
The President smacked General CommandoBob on the head, and snapped, ‘Horses cost Gold, you idiot! Send a couple of Mayans!’
‘Yes, Sir!’
‘Admiral Eltrai!’
‘Sir!’
‘What is the status of my Naval Task Force?’
‘Sir! Our . . . I mean, Your Naval Task Force has launched and is en route to the Mayan Island. The Privateer that we now know comes from France sank one of your Frigates, but your other Frigate sank the Privateer once and for all!’
Turning east and looking out the window, The President shouted, ‘HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, YOU FRENCH (BLEEP)?!!’ Turning back to the Admiral, he asked, ‘Excellent, Admiral. I will fully endorse the building of a proper Navy effective immediately!’
‘Thank you, Mr. President!’
‘Now with all those Mayan cities gone, there’s a lot of open territory.’
Admiral Eltrai said, ‘Please forgive the interruption, Sir, but our citizens in Richmond have noticed a small fleet of Arabian ships heading down the coast towards the newly opened territory.’
‘Over my dead body will I allow another Arabian city on my continent! Is that understood, gentlemen?’
Everyone in the room gave a ‘HARRUMPH!’
The President said, ‘Now, have we been able to claim the newly opened territory with new American cities?’
General AutomatedTeller replied, ‘Yes, Sir! Your inspired campaign of ‘(BLEEP) for your Empire’s future’ sent your Citizens into a sexual frenzy! The Population Growth rate has gone through the ceiling, Mr. President!’
Puffing confidently on a cigar, The President asked, ‘The citizens love me, don’t they?’
‘Yes, Mr. President!’
‘Marvelous! And how many American cities do we now have, General?’
‘Seventy-Four, Sir!’
The President spat the cigar across the room. ‘Geez! My people really know how to (bleep), don’t they?’
The General replied, ‘Indubitably, Sir!‘
Major Tribute motioned to a maid who picked up and disposed of the cigar.
The President muttered, ‘Seventy-Four! Is there room for more cities?’
Slowly, the General replied, ‘Yes, sir!’
‘Good! Then I want every American male to plow his wife’s field every night, if you know what I mean!’
‘Very well, Mr. President!’
‘Now that I control the continent, it’s time for the second phase of this war to begin.’
WarMaster Marsden nodded, and said, ‘It will be done, Mr. President!’
A thought crossed The President’s mind, and he said, ‘Slight change of plans, WarMaster. If you and your men want to beat the crap out of Smoke-Jaguar and Wang Kon, they may do so, but bring them alive to me. I want to see their faces! Capture the rest of Maya’s and Korea’s cities, and bring those two (bleeps) to me!’
The WarMaster said, ‘Yes, Sir!’
‘That’s all, Gentlemen! Dismissed!’
The Joint Chiefs of Staff saluted, and filed out of the office, while The President walked toward the boudoir happily whistling ‘Hail to The Chief!’
*****
Without further ado, on to your posts!
Originally posted by
General AutomatedTeller:
I would use your excess muskets, actually. Your workers are too valuable - you have new land to irrigate, some rails to build, and you actually still unimproved core tiles!! a few hills here and there that can be worked now that you have rails.
(slaps head) Of course! And since Our Military can be anywhere immediately, thanks to our Railroads, I can spread them out as well. After we take care of a couple of cockroaches, of course!
Also - now that you have factories and hospitals, you are going to run into pollution, so will need workers to clean that up. You might want to chop forests and mine/rail the resulting tile. You will either gain a shield (on a plain) or a food (on a grass) or both (on a bonus grass) - and if there is pollution on that tile, it is faster to clear 
Will do!
There is no way that the AI will beat you to it - unless you have no aluminum or uranium, but that's not likely.
Now
that would totally out-suck a black hole!
Originally posted by
WarMaster Marsden:
Actually, I think if you have no aluminum or uranium it would be a good learning experience in how to deal with an unexpected lack of resources. It was already touched on with the "saltpeter crisis of 1000AD" but needing a critical resource from another continent is a much bigger obstacle.
Could be fun, but I'm not sure if I'll launch before 2050. I mean, the Modern Age techs are so insanely expensive and all.
Plus, IMO, modern age wars are just so much fun!
I had a taste of MA wars in a previous game. I was the Vikings, and I had crushed everybody that crossed my path on my continent. On the other continent, for some reason, the Dutch and the Portugeuse (or maybe it was Spain) had left a sizeable opening at the Southern tip of their continent. I I settled on that spot, and immediately gold-rushed an Airport. I must have airlifted 50 Units into that City. The question was: Which dies first? I chose the Portugeuse. Wrong decision! It turns out that if I had decided to destroy the Dutch first, I would have controlled EVERY SINGLE DEPOSIT OF URANIUM ON THE PLANET! I could have nuked them until they glowed, and they couldn't have retaliated!
Oh, and don't forget your F-15s! (Golden age here we come!)
Of course, I could trigger the GA with Wonders (Hoover Dam and Internet) before that.
But it's your game, it's totally up to you. I just think, in a non-competitive training game, you should try to get the "feel" of as many units as possible. Rather than try for a "quick" victory, you should get into situations so that you will experience handling them.
This won't be the only TDG that I run. I was thinking next time of a Conquest Victory with lots of Espionage, but that's far in the future.
And I'd just like to add, Tribute hit it on the head a little while back, YOU'VE WON, the game just does'nt know it yet.
Like I posted back then, I'll believe it when I hit the 'Launch' button!
Thanks to all of you for your posts! I hope that you enjoyed the Chapter!
I did not know that.
you all!
