Farts

[warpus]

A couple years ago I implanted an artificial organ into my body, whose sole purpose it is to process pre-fart mass into energy my body can use.

I have not farted in years.

 

[Mise]

Farting's just about the most satisfying thing your ass can do.

 

[eastsidebagel]

Farting's just about the most satisfying thing your ass can do.

must...resist...joke...which...could...get...me...into...trouble!

 

[sysyphus]

Farting's just about the most satisfying thing your ass can do.

Can't agree. A full blown crunch is far better.

 

[Mise]

A good poo is pretty sweet, I had one this morning that was sooooo awesome, but good farts have a rippling longevity that a good poo just can't replace.

 

[dannyshenanigan]

Why don't girls fart?

 

[Speedo]

Why don't girls fart?

They're just good at hiding it.

 

[rhawn]

Farts are funny. Queefs are disgusting.

 

[Dachs]

Farts are funny. Queefs are disgusting.

Mostly agree with the first sentence, totally agree with the second.

 

[Ecofarm]

South Park episode (last week's).

"Eat, Pray, Queef"

It's about farts being funny but queefs being gross.

http://www.southparkstudios.com/guide/

 

[eastsidebagel]

Farts are funny. Queefs are disgusting.

I know that you watched the last episode of South Park, but yet, I have to totally agree with you.

 

[Ecofarm]

Not last!

ESB, do you like fishsticks?

 

[Dachs]

Not last!

ESB, do you like fishsticks?

 

[eastsidebagel]

Not last!

ESB, do you like fishsticks?

I LOVE to put them into my mouth! So what?

 

[Annex]

I would be surprised if South Park didnt end up being the subject of a thread called "Farts."

 

[Gooblah]

:lol this thread is awesome.

I think the best fart I've ever had was one that lasted roughly three minutes, mostly because I had been holding it in all day after having those veggie patties on a Subway...I was at a pretty formal event.

Came home, charged upstairs, and just let it out after changing into home clothes.

 

[Harald]

Why don't girls fart?

They talk so much that they fail to build up enough pressure.

Spoiler :

 

[LucyDuke]

Eh? Seriously?

Yeah, seriously!

I have a relatively small cat who's arse can clear out a large room in seconds.

You know how animals never look embarassed after they cut one? Not my cat. Hers are so bad, she always feels shame after letting one go.

My dog once plopped on the floor to lick her butt, and just as she got into licking range, she farted. It startled her so much that she got right up and scampered away. It was better than when one of the dogs farted and then looked at her ass in surprise... which happens a lot too.

Why don't girls fart?

We do fart. We don't poop.

:lol this thread is awesome.

I think the best fart I've ever had was one that lasted roughly three minutes, mostly because I had been holding it in all day after having those veggie patties on a Subway...I was at a pretty formal event.

Three minutes solid? Or three minutes of installments?

 

[scherbchen]

personally I find it funny that a word that apparently stems from Germanic roots has hardly changed. furz, fart. yet the condition that leads to many farts is of romance origin (flatulent -> flatulence). English in a nutshell...

expanded etymology: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/fart

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/flatulent

 

[Labtec600]

My dog once plopped on the floor to lick her butt, and just as she got into licking range, she farted. It startled her so much that she got right up and scampered away. It was better than when one of the dogs farted and then looked at her ass in surprise... which happens a lot too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rs2g5XyMnn0