Fighting sea monsters 1 - Megalodon

huh? 15mph is still rather fast in the water I'd think.
 
Actually because of its size, Megalodons can only go at bout 15 miles an hour max. However it is 50 ft in length and weight 50 tons with a mouth that can just about swallow your boat.

With 20 seconds, you don't have time to turn on the motor and run away.
What the hell kind of motor can't be started in like 10 seconds?
 
Megalodons are ambush predators. They like to sneak up on large prey from below.

Their prey wasn't road-runners either. I mean large whales generally aren't very, especially if they don't sense something coming from below.
 
As it approaches the boat I would throw some rope around it's body and mount it. Over the course of the next few weeks I would live off scraps of food from my new friend's victims, al the while gradually taming it. When I finally break it I will ride up the Thames, pistol in hand. Eventually I will come to Jeremy Clarkson's house, where I will leave my new companion and enter the house, pistol in hand...

Bang.
 
As simultaneously as humanly possible, I shoot everythign I have at the Megalodon, power up the boat, and pray like there's no tomorrow. Which there probably isn't in my specific case.

Pray, specifically, for a second Megalodon somewhere really close by (like, coming up right under the boat). One with cannibalistic tendencies, preferably. Failing that, pray the bullets at least make Meggie slow down a second or three.

Once I've got the engine going, if at all, use whatever free arm I may have to hold the girlfriend because, frankly, we're probably still shark food whatever we do, and given the relative size of Meggie, Meggie's maw, and us, throwing either of us, even bleeding, in the water is going to do about nothing.

If for some reason I should feel this is workable at all, I may just shoot myself and jump in the water. But as outlined above, I find it unlikely that would pause the Megalodon more than a quarter-second.

So yeah. Not a brilliant plan for survival odds, but frankly, I don't think there's any good plan in this scenario.
 
I maintain that my plan assures the highest chance of survival, especially given sharks' tendencies to go after bleeding and wounded creatures.
 
But mine's epic.
Look.
shark.jpg

jealous?
 
I would probably drown myself and my girlfriend.It can be seen as a suicide at first sight but i'd rather choose that option than to be eaten by a devilish giant creature.
 
Shoot a few bullets into the girlfriend so that she bleeds profusely but is not dead yet, and then throw her overboard. Use the distraction to sail away while the shark devours my helpless and flailing girlfriend.

Get a new girlfriend once I reach shore.

A very logical answer to a totally illogical question - this really is the only solution that offers a prayer of surviving.

We'll just not go into the ethical side, though... ;)
 
Eat Gun, Rape Shark, Kill GF.
 
When is the last time you powered the boat?

If it hasn't been for a long while, you can probably just sit there, it doesn't think you're food... :p
 
Ya know what a Megalodon is? No pistol is gonna kill that thing.

You don't have to kill it. As long as you hurt it a little, it'll probably back off.

Punching a shark in the nose or in the gills is enough for them to break off an attack.
 
Does a shark eats a minnow? The boats would offer no indication that it is food to a 50ft shark so my girlfriend and I would remain very, very quiet. If a shark would eat anything off the surface of the ocean discriminately, it would very soon become extinct.
 
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