Good Wish/Bad Wish VIII Making Your Dreams Come True... Sort of...

[SS-18 ICBM]

Granted. Clean it up.

I wish I had some research papers that I authored.

 

[Bratmon]

Granted. They are all believable lies. The mobs push you off a cliff.

I wish I had unlimited moneys.

 

[choxorn]

Granted, but it spawns in your pocket. It turns out, your pocket doesn't have unlimited room...

I wish my zombie army could pwn the armies of Seon and whoever pwned Seon's army, and my army would not be pwned by an even bigger army.

 

[Stuck in Pi]

Granted. It gets owned by a nuke.

I wish that I got all 100 out of 100 on my finals.

 

[Seon]

Granted, but you failed the coursefor cheating.

I wish for more Hamstas

 

[Bratmon]

Granted, but it spawns in your pocket. It turns out, your pocket doesn't have unlimited room...

Easy, just turn it upside down.

 

[choxorn]

I leave what happens at that point up to your imagination. You don't seem to have much of one if you use that easy cop-out.

 

[Stylesrj]

Granted. You got a lot of little rodents, because the genie was one of those literal sorts.

I wish for a white pony.

 

[SS-18 ICBM]

Granted. It falls into a puddle of black paint.

I wish for a research grant.

 

[Bratmon]

Granted. It's $-1

I wish I had infinity dollars in a place with unlimited room.

 

[Dragonson]

Granted. You get infinite dollars, but inside a black hole.

I wish this wish is untwistable.

 

[choxorn]

Granted, but it is bendable. You are bent into the shape of a pretzel.

I wish to have infinite pretzels.

 

[SS-18 ICBM]

Granted. They crush you.

I wish for a research grant, enough to cover my expenses.

 

[Bratmon]

Granted, but the grant isn't for you.

I wish for a wish.

 

[Stylesrj]

Granted. You wasted a wish.

I wish to have the power to make wishes and get them granted (like in D&D)

 

[SS-18 ICBM]

Granted. They cost a ton of experience points.

I wish I understood what the next person would say.

 

[Seon]

G-R-A-N-T-E-D. I--S-L-O-W--T-A-L-K--N-O-W

I wish I could ascend (Star Gate)

 

[Stylesrj]

Granted. Ascension isn't what it is cracked up to be.

I wish to have a stuffed moose head hanging precariously falling over my favourite chair, so when I go to sit down, some assassin can sneak into the crawlspace above and loosen the moose head, killing me when it lands on my head.

 

[SS-18 ICBM]

Granted. The assassin rigs the gas stove instead, and that's how you die.

I wish the Olympics would recognize waterboarding as a sport.

 

[Seon]

Granted, but you somehow die. Something about a sudden tsunami sweeping across the stadium or something.

I wish for the next person who posts in this thread to get a sudden influx of diarrehea.