thanks everyone who posted in response to my mini rant...it was the middle of the night, I was tired(stupid research papers and stupid me for waiting till last minute to write it), and I guess something I read on here or somewhere else got me frustrated...so I wrote that.
It is true that I am a noob to emperor, but as far as Civ IV goes, I've had the game since release and I've been into civ period since 1997, so...I guess I interpreted noob(which on some boards I frequent is an insult) to mean that we didn't know much about civ. So sorry everyone had to read that, and I'm all better now
I played another test opening going fishing then poly
the RNG screwed me up again by giving me fishing from a hut! So I got hinduism easily.
I had found Hatty's cultural borders were already touching Delhi's borders(she started like 8 squares from me) so I wondered how aggressive these AI were. I had a single warrior still, and declared war on her. My warrior reached her capital, in which I found a settler and 4 archers. He died, obviously. I then sat in my capital...building nothing but wonders and researching stuff. I managed to found Judaism, build Stonehenge, and pyramids, and last about 2000 years before Hatty ever got around to invading my territory and taking Delhi, which was undefended that entire time. No barbs ever approached either.
So apparently, at least early on, we shouldn't have much to worry about in terms of aggression from anyone but an aggressive leader.