Have you ever cheated *with* somebody?

[Boundless]

OG, Why do you blame the 3rd party more than the person who was already in the relationship?

 

[Arwon]

I sort of am right now. It's a bit complex though, because it's been an on-again off-again thing. So, I was there first, but then I was gone for a long time. So now I'm largely waiting til the other thing gets ended properly.

 

[sophie]

OG, Why do you blame the 3rd party more than the person who was already in the relationship?

It's Owen, and which do you mean? A or B?

 

[ParadigmShifter]

@Arwon: Well as long as you play your IALS PBEM turns promptly, I won't judge you.

 

[Arwon]

@PS: Hah.

 

[kochman]

IMO the relationship is dead as soon as the person within the relationship considers cheating. Its 6ft down when the cheating occurs.

Having been person C, I agree with this...
If she's willingly coming over again and again, sober, etc... the other relationship is dead.
Some folks just have problems, for whatever reason, with actually calling the previous thing off (recently married, living together, what have you).
They should do the right thing, but until you've put yourself in their shoes, it's hard to say how you'd behave.

 

[Boundless]

It's Owen, and which do you mean? A or B?

I'm sorry, Owen, why do you blame the person outside the relationship more than the person in the relationship.

 

[sophie]

I'm sorry, Owen, why do you blame the person outside the relationship more than the person in the relationship.

I don't. I said it's equally on person B and person C.

 

[Boundless]

1. I don't think it's morally reprehensible to desire a taken woman. I don't think there's a straight man alive who can claim to not having done it. I'm sure it's the same among women. That being said, I think actually acting on such feelings is one of the most low, dirtiest, scummiest things any person could do to another person. There are few things I think of that are more hurtful, more degrading, and more depressing than being cheated on. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
2. It's a bit of both person B and person C's. C for being scummy enough to make a move on another person's SO, and person B for consenting to C's scumminess.
3. I think my opinions on 1 and 2 adequately give you a sense for my response to this question.

I read that as C being "scummy" where as B is merely going along with things.

I ask this because in my opinion, it is B who is in the wrong, and C to a lesser extent.

 

[Mark1031]

Yes I was a C. I have been married to my B for 20 yrs. Human relationships are complicated and no one is “taken”. In modern society you are free to enter and exit relationships as you see fit. My B was essentially on the way out of the relationship she was in but there was some overlap in timing. I think her A knew it and the eventual breakup was amicable-they were married briefly no kids. The only moral imperative is doing all you can to be honest and not unduly hurt anybodies feelings.

 

[ParadigmShifter]

I'm getting confused now - is A Abaddon, B Boundless and C classical_hero?

 

[Disgustipated]

A is supposed to be the girl who cheats (assuming C is a guy or gay girl) and B is the guy being cheated on. You guys are getting the letters mixed up.

And yes my "friend" has been a C.

 

[ParadigmShifter]

Your friend has been a C? That's a bit harsh.

 

[Mango Elephant]

I would never cheat *with* somebody, because if someone cheated on me I know what I would do to both of them.

Forget your high society, I'm soakin' it in Kerosene
Light 'em up and watch them burn, teach 'em what they need to learn,
Now I don't hate the one who left, you can't hate someone who's dead
He's out there holding on to someone, I'm holding up my smoking gun

Not that I would kill anyone, but I'd sure as hell do something (probably not physical). And I don't want that to happen to me.

 

[Commodore]

A is supposed to be the girl who cheats (assuming C is a guy or gay girl) and B is the guy being cheated on. You guys are getting the letters mixed up.

And yes my "friend" has been a C.

Well did your A ever explain why she hooked up with C? And did C ever explain why he didn't care about ruining your friendship by hooking up with A?

 

[ParadigmShifter]

@Mango: Couldn't you just have a nice cup of tea and a biscuit instead?

 

[Mango Elephant]

Hell no, they like his pretty-ass neck, I'll cut it into ribbons.

 

[ParadigmShifter]

Dude, chill! No-one like desperation.

 

[Commodore]

Hell no, they like his pretty-ass neck, I'll cut it into ribbons.

Would causing harm to another person in a jealous fit of rage really be the best way to deal with the situation?

 

[ParadigmShifter]

Computer says no