I guess I have to add to french theme:
Heroes of 1812 year Patriotic War - Miloradovich and Uvarov spoken french VERY poorly. But in aristocratic sphere always tried to speak french.
Once at dinner with Aleksander I they sat by both sides of russian general Aleksander L'ajernon, french by nationality, and always chatted between each other.
And after dinner Aleksander I asked L'ajernon what Miloradovich and Uvarov discussed with such enthusiasm.
- I'm sorry, mylord, but I can't understand a word - they spoken french.
Once Catherine II got audience of priests. They requested return of church bells, wich Peter the Great melted to cannons and said that will return them later, but not returned.
Then Catherine asked if they asked Peter about bells' return.
"Yes, your highness" - said priest:"We even got documents." and shown her paper. Reading thet she noticed Peter's resolution upon request to return bells wich looked like that:"Maybe even my c_ck you need?" signed
eter I.
Tsarina then replied:"And as a woman I am unable provide you even with that."
Once Paul I spotted drunk officer on sentry before the Admiralty so he ordered to arrest an officer.
-According to regulations, before arresting me you have to relieve me from sentry.
-He drunk know his work better than we sobers.
Officer was promoted.
One old admiral got an audience with Catherine II after brilliat naval victory and tsarina asked him to describe battle in detail. Admiral began and the more he got carried away by telling the story the more he began to describe his commands to sailors, intermitting it with lots of seaman swearing. After realising that and seing that everyone is in shock he apolagized brfore Catherine, who replied calmly:
-Please, admiral, continue your most interesting story and don't worry,anyway I am not familiar with that naval terms.
Stalin talking with Churchill by phone:
-No
-No
-No
-No
-Yes
-No
-No
Hanging on the phone.
-Comrade Stalin, in what did you agreed with Churchill?
-He asked if I'm hearing him well.
.
