Imperium OffTopicum XIV

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the AF would like to see how the campaign in the UAC is going before coming to any final conclusions. We are also quite disturbed at the finding that Indonesia, our economic ally, has attempted to poison our nation. We ask the new government in Indonesia to explain itself or we shall end the agreement.
 
Gangnam news

The First International Dota 5 Championship has begun!
One team from each country will face the others in a series of matches!
Watch the first matches LIVE on GamingNetwork TV!

USA vs. France
Laos vs. Indo-persia
Texarkana vs. Malta
Botswana vs. Indonesia
Beijing vs. UAR West
UAR East vs. Sichuan
Armenia vs. Mozambique
Gangnam vs. Thailand
Australia & NZ vs WAC
New Rhodesia vs Poland-Lithuania
Italy vs Bermudia
Kalmar vs Oceania
Ireland vs Mathalamus Empire
Lybia vs UAC
Barcelona vs. Horn of Africa
Monaco vs. Holland
Mexico vs Bulgaria
Kingston vs Georgia
Baden vs. Platonic Republic.


These are just the qualification matches. Five matches will be fought between each pair of teams. The winner advances, the loser goes home. Because of an uneven number of pairs, and because the Gangnam Republic has so many players, a secondary Gangnam team will fight a match against a team of complete newbies.
 
@ math: I just took pair of nations form the list. Blame bureaucracy.

The first results are on!

USA 0 vs.5 France
France swept away the competition in five blitz matches that didn't allow the opposition to build up too much. USA seemed to take the lead in the third match, but lost ground rapidly.


Laos 1 vs. 4 Indo-persia
After the first three games were won by the persians, it was a sure victory for them. this led to their defeat in the fifth match, but it was too late for their rivals.

Texarkana 4 vs.1 Malta
Although Malta won the first match , completely obliterating the opposition, Texarkana was only testing their strength. Malta lost all subsequent matches.


Botswana 0 vs. 5 Indonesia
Altough Botswana won the second game, an african player was found using a cheat device and they lost their only point. Being one short, the Botswana team lost power.

Beijing 3 vs.2 UAR West
Probably the longest ever Dota 5 match was the fifth decisive match between these two nations. Can you believe it took 19 hours to complete only one match?

UAR East 2 vs.3 Sichuan
UAR East won the first two games, paving the way for a mass of fans already proclaiming them winners. Interestingly, one of Sichuan's players was sick so the Sichuan played one short. The only thing that helped them win was the overconfidence of UAR.


Armenia 1 vs. 4 Mozambique
Mozambique won all matches, but the first match was declined as their because one certain african player paid the Armenians to lose.

Gangnam 3 vs.2 Thailand
Thailand's slow techniques would have prevailed in the long run, if not for a sudden change of strategy in the last match


Australia & NZ 0 vs 0 WAC
The WAC won 4 matches against a team of impersonators. The whole scheme was blown when the real Australian team arrived. As compensation for the complications, both teams got instantly qualified for the next round.

New Rhodesia 3 vs 2 Poland-Lithuania
Rhodesia won the first three matches, leaving the defeated Lithuanians to struggle for the remaining matches. The Rhodesian team even played Poker during the last match.

Italy 5 vs 0 Bermudia
Bermudia's team admitted that they never played the game before after the second match. the score says it all.

Kalmar 4 vs 1 Oceania
The first match ended with the Oceanian victory. The opposing team and really everyone else , including the Oceanians, admitted it was pure dumb luck.


Ireland 2 vs 3 Mathalamus Empire
These two teams would have battled for the Number One place if not for the random selection that pitted these amazing teams against eachother so early. If pro gaming was barely considered a sport before, after their encounters it is definitely considered an art.


Lybia 1 vs 4 UAC
The Lybian victory raised suspicions, as many shady characters circled the arena during the fights, and the UAC team didn't seem as motivated as in other matches. Still , both teams agreed to the score.


Barcelona 5 vs. 0 Horn of Africa
All their matches were like games of hide and seek. Not one player had their character killed by others not even once, except an African player who got killed by a neutral creep in game. Still, Bacelona prevailed in this sneaking contest.


Monaco 1 vs. 4 Holland
Holland trashed their rivals completely, but had the heart to offer them a honorable defeat, by allowing them a headstart in the final match.

Mexico 2 vs 3 Bulgaria
No team actually won any match. In the first two matches, the mexicans were caught with cheating devices, and the games were won by Bulgaria. The next two matches were Bulgarian attempts to cheat,stabilizing the score. In the final match, the Mexicans were caught cheating again while the Bulgarians were clean.



Kingston 5 vs 0 Georgia
Simply put, Georgia put no effort into this.


Baden 5 vs.0 Platonic Republic.
Baden's quick but dangerous techniques secured their victories before the Platonics could organize properly.


QUARTERFINALS
France vs New Rhodesia
Baden vs Kingston
Bulgaria vs Holland
Barcelona vs UAC
Mathalamus Empire vs Kalmar
Italy vs Mozambique
Gangnam vs Texarkana
Sichuan vs Indo-persia
Indonesia vs Beijing
Australia vs WAC

Due to the late arrival of the Austrian team, they were pitted against a strong Gangnam contender team. The result will appear in... oh, they're here! Austria won 4-1! They are going to be pitted against yet another pro team from Gangnam, unless any other team decides that they should fight Austria .
 
Today in Science

In a somewhat controversial move, the Austrian Academy of Sciences, in conjunction with the German Ministry of Education, has announced plans to retool their annual rewarding of the Erwin Schrödinger Prize. The criteria for earning the award has been officially expanded to "any significant achievement in the field of science", and the award can be given to any influential scientist regardless of nationality. Officials say that the expansion is aimed towards replacing the Nobel Prize, whose foundation had been defunct since the cataclysm.

Prior to the reworking, the winner was expected to be Leon Hocke, the pioneering inventor behind the Meteor power armor. In a surprising upset, the award was instead received by Dae Ye-jun of the Republic of Gangnam for his work in education. Officials cited his work in the field of education, specifically the educational merit system he theorized and helped implement in the Gangnam Republic. "Given that the Republic has one of the best education systems in the world," one official stated, "The results speak for themselves."

Many native Germans and Austrians are outraged at the snubbing of the German-born Leon Hocke, accusing the Academy of choosing a non-German for political motivations. Hocke himself disagrees with this view, and in fact supports the award going to Dae Ye-jun instead. "The Meteor is impressive, but it will never have as much of an impact on our children's future," he said after hearing about the controversy.
 
NEW PROJECTS ANNOUNCED, AF TO CHANGE MILITARY STRATEGY
Today the AF's top generals have announced a change in Military strategy following the halting of the campaign. Instead, a new doctrine known as the Narvesund Offensive Doctrine (NOD)* will be used starting at the latest Winter 2109. The Doctrine is to be used all over the continent of Africa, hence the name. Rather than focus on conventional tactics, the new tactic will use speed, mobility and subversion to its best intent. The Springheel Jack Program will continue, but several other programs will be added to the list, most notably the replacement of sluggish pre-Cataclysm equipment with more mobile, if lightly armored, vehicles and infantry. There are also rumors of a potential air force.
*OOC: It is universal law that one non-Scandinavian nation name something military after something Viking.
Other OOC: If you're wondering, this is where I'm planning to head with this.
 
Russia is invading not Russia. Just throwing that out there.

Because things went so well the last time Soviet Russians killed a Russian Tsar.

Regardless, if this isn't resolved diplomatically, Germany will be forced to take military action. Just throwing THAT out there.
 
From: Tsar Mikhail I
To: The Kaiserin and the Kaiserins Government


The Tsardom welcomes the magnanimity and friendship of the German people against the rampant aggression displayed by the soviets, and the pledge of protection offered by Her Imperial Majesties government against said menace. Let us pray that this may stay the warmongers sword, and show to the nations, many of whom have in fear of their power kowtowed to soviet aggression, that they need not kneel to the effrontery of the Federations bombastic rhetoric.
 
From: Thailand
To: Germany, Russias


Thailand would like to call Germany and the Russias to come to a Conference in Thailand, in order to try to resolve peacefully the situation. War is bad for everyone, even for the victors. So, we ask you to put human lives above ultra-nationalism and imperialism and try to solve peacefully the situation. Just so you know, Thailand shall embargo those who decide to put war over peace.
 
We will gladly attend the Thailand Conference. War must always be the last possible solution.
 
The existance of the monarchy is a threat to the RSF and everything we stand for. There is no way we accept less than abdication.
 
To: Thailand
From: Russia


The Tsardom has never wanted war, has not initiated any way, and has no claims whatever on soviet territory. The looming conflict is entirely and in every way a result of rampant soviet aggression, and its end short of needless bloodshed is entirely dependent on them demurring from their hostile intent.
 
It is with great sadness that I announce I feel that the situation has become untenable.
At nearly every turn update I've been bombarded with (often highly vocal) criticism. It seems to be a near universal opinion that my GMing of this game has been unsatisfactory and recently it has been just getting too much.

I love GMing games here but it is evident that I was the wrong choice to host one of the numbered IOTs. Maybe I'll GM again one day, I don't know. But it is evident that my reputation as a good GM is gone, or at least any feeling of self confidence.
Right now I just don't think that GMing is worth the slew of criticism that comes with every update.
 
It is with great sadness that I announce I feel that the situation has become untenable.
At nearly every turn update I've been bombarded with (often highly vocal) criticism. It seems to be a near universal opinion that my GMing of this game has been unsatisfactory and recently it has been just getting too much.

I love GMing games here but it is evident that I was the wrong choice to host one of the numbered IOTs. Maybe I'll GM again one day, I don't know. But it is evident that my reputation as a good GM is gone, or at least any feeling of self confidence.
Right now I just don't think that GMing is worth the slew of criticism that comes with every update.

noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo


you were doing an awesome job :(
 
^^This, great job. It had flaws, but it was decent enough. I was going to leave, in any case.
 
Noooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!
 
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