Irish Jokes

[salty mud]

I don't mean to offend any Irish, but if we can have Blonde jokes why can't we have Irish?

Anyway, the joke:

An Irishman is stranded on a desert island in the middle of nowhere. He fears of his death. One day, feeling really sad, he sees a boat out at see, with apparantly no crew, and nothing stopping him from swimming there. He swims to the boat. He puts the boats rope between his teeth and heeves it all the way back to the island where he smashes the boat and makes a raft.

 

[Riesstiu IV]

Not offensive but not funny either.

 

[lbhhh]

Not offensive but not funny either.

I second the motion.

 

[puglover]

Well I liked it.

 

[Riesstiu IV]

Perhaps the Irishman wasn't able to operate the boat under crewed and by himself. Maybe making a raft was his only choice?

If anything this joke is anti-raft and you should be ashamed salty mud.

 

[Kan' Sharuminar]

Clearly Riesstiu, given the blatant disregard for boat-life and it's horrific and unjustified destruction, this is anti-boat and pro-raft.

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

Hey, not everyone who is pro-raft is automatically anti-boat, you know.

 

[Irish Caesar]

Not funny.

A better Irish joke:

Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink. Quinn thinks he's very lucky because his own wife makes him walk.

 

[Riesstiu IV]

As a raging alcoholic, I'm offended that you would compare me to an Irishman.

 

[salty mud]

Its only a F****** joke people! Calm down. Anti-raft and anti-boat? Fine, it wasn't funny. Close the thread.

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

We were joking ourselves . . .

 

[Thedrin]

Paddy English man, Paddy Scots man and Paddy Irish man go into a bar and as it transpires Paddy Irish man is rather stupid.

 

[Kan' Sharuminar]

Paddy English man, Paddy Scots man and Paddy Irish man go into a bar and as it transpires Paddy Irish man is rather stupid.

The best part was when it turned out the Irishman was stupid

Bill Bailey once wondered why the Welsh weren't represented in those jokes. I can't find the exact quotes, but I found this summary:

You see, says Bailey, everyone has heard of the classical genre of joke that starts "There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman". Nowhere in this eclectic mix, he suggests, has a Welshman wandered in. This is because the Welsh have no discerning national characteristic other than sheer indifference. The English are, naturally, the "Jolly good show, you bastards" lot, the Scots are the aggressive, kilt wearing lot, and the Irishmen are the "ooh... I said something quite dumb and that's terribly charming!"

The Welsh, however, have sheep. Well, without meaning to be demeaning, that's all that the Welsh have for a national identity, contended Bailey. And the audience agreed with him.

Once, Bailey asked a Welshman why their nationality never featured in "An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman walked into a pub..." jokes. "That's because he's already in the pub," said the Welshman. So, says Bailey...

"An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. The Welshman, in the corner, says "Hullo", and pays no further part in the proceedings..."

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

An Irishman was once confronted with an opportunity to gain great wealth. However, his stupidity led him to lose this chance in a humorous fashion, unlike the the sensible fellows of different nationalities earlier in the joke.

 

[Nuka-sama]

An Irishmen, a Scotsmen and an Englishmen goto a bar. A fly lands in each of their drinks. The Englishmen pushes his glass away and says he wants a different one. The Scotsmen flicks the fly out and continues drinking. The Irishmen takes the fly out by its wings and holds it over his drink and says
"Spit it out!"

 

[Veritass]

Q: What's an Irish seven-course dinner?
A: A baked potato and a six-pack of beer.

Q: What's Irish and stays out all night?
A: Paddy O'Furniture.


Now, on to the leprechaun jokes, people!

 

[nonconformist]

And Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walked into a bar.
A conversation then ensued which highlited the relative normality of the Englishman and Scotsman, while reinforcing the xenephobic generalisation that the Irish are somehow less cerebally gifted, a result of English complacency, and of tensions between the Irish Catholocism, and the English reformed Protestantism, who though juridictal process was empowered over the Irish, leading to a period of opression, and later, revolution.

 

[Irish Caesar]

Q: Why are Irish jokes so simple?
A: So the English can understand them.

 

[SuperBeaverInc.]

Nice on Irish

 

[salty mud]

^^^ And the Irish can tell them.