Jokes
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Zarn
Le Républicain Catholique
This is of topic but I was born in New York not New Jersey. Just saying. No offense but I don't liked to be called a Jersian. Anyway religous jokes just get to me, exspecially ones on my faith.
Originally posted by andyo
know why divorces are so expensive?
because they are worth it!
but seriously - i'm not married yet - i figure why rush into the first marriage, when my second wife isn't even born yet
Where do you get all of these?(boooooo hisssssss 
)
Moderator Action: boo, hiss, indeed!
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)Moderator Action: boo, hiss, indeed!
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LaRo
Dead Rat
Originally posted by andyo
(boooooo hisssssss
Switch625
I don't care.
*pulls microphone out of andyo's hands; beats him with it*
Why did the chicken stop halfway across the road?
Because she wanted to lay it on the line.
*ducks hurled fruit*
Why did the chicken stop halfway across the road?
Because she wanted to lay it on the line.
*ducks hurled fruit*
allhailIndia
Deity
Some jokes here are downright crass, some are genuinely funny, but some are downright crass.
BTW really enjoyed the squaw of the hippopotamus one
BTW really enjoyed the squaw of the hippopotamus one
LaRo
Dead Rat
Keep posting Andyo. Your jokes are nasty but funny.
Enough with the one-liners! A good joke needs to be set up, so you can appreciate it. (Not that this one is any good, but it's the best I con do on short notice.)
Four guys go golfing. Mike says to the others, "Hey, I've got to stop by the pro-shop. I'll meet you at the tee."
The other three stroll out to the first tee, chatting along the way.
"So, John, how's that son of yours?"
"Well, he's in real estate, you know. Business has been booming. So much so that he just GAVE a friend of his a condo!"
Not to be outdone, Bill responds, "Well, my son is in the stock market. He's doing so well that he just put together a portfolio that he gave to one of HIS friends."
The third golfer chimes in, "My son sells cars. He's doing so well that he now owns his own franchise, and he just gave a new MERCEDES to HIS friend."
Just then Mike gets back. "What are you guys talking about?"
"Our sons. How is your's doing?"
Mike just shrugs. "I don't understand that boy. He works as a dancer at a gay bar. I guess he's doing OK, though. He's already got a condo, a stock portfolio, and a Mercedes."
(Not that this one is any good, but it's the best I con do on short notice.)Four guys go golfing. Mike says to the others, "Hey, I've got to stop by the pro-shop. I'll meet you at the tee."
The other three stroll out to the first tee, chatting along the way.
"So, John, how's that son of yours?"
"Well, he's in real estate, you know. Business has been booming. So much so that he just GAVE a friend of his a condo!"
Not to be outdone, Bill responds, "Well, my son is in the stock market. He's doing so well that he just put together a portfolio that he gave to one of HIS friends."
The third golfer chimes in, "My son sells cars. He's doing so well that he now owns his own franchise, and he just gave a new MERCEDES to HIS friend."
Just then Mike gets back. "What are you guys talking about?"
"Our sons. How is your's doing?"
Mike just shrugs. "I don't understand that boy. He works as a dancer at a gay bar. I guess he's doing OK, though. He's already got a condo, a stock portfolio, and a Mercedes."
you joke is ok - i give it one and a half laughs - though i thought it was funnier when i read it in maxum a few months ago - i guess it just comes down to personal preference, a joke that is funny or a joke that is long
p.s. - they arn't really one liners anyway, as they all have at least two lines - one liners are the henny youngman "take my wife, please" jokes
p.s.s. - know whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
the wheelchair 
p.s. - they arn't really one liners anyway, as they all have at least two lines - one liners are the henny youngman "take my wife, please" jokes
p.s.s. - know whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
the wheelchair
Panda
Metal head
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Andyo - I agree, I don't give it more than one and a half laughs myself. And didn't know it appeared in Maxim, either. That's the problem when you hear a joke in conversation: you don't know where it may have come from.
You're right, yours aren't one-liners in the literal sense. But 'two-liners' just didn't sound right.
And go ahead and keep posting. I just wanted to grab the 'mic' for myself for a minute. Like LaRo said, they may be 'nasty', but they are funny.
You're right, yours aren't one-liners in the literal sense. But 'two-liners' just didn't sound right.
And go ahead and keep posting. I just wanted to grab the 'mic' for myself for a minute.
Like LaRo said, they may be 'nasty', but they are funny.Moderator Action: warned
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Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889
philippe
FYI, I chase trains.
Moderator Action: way too lewd. You have 16 hours (until 12 noon CDT tomorrow) to explain to me why you should not be restricted for your large aggregation of lewdness, spamming threads, some flaming, and overall stinking up the place
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889
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