GreekAnalyzer
Back from the Dead
- Joined
- May 9, 2013
- Messages
- 1,936
This was a great chapter!
Karnage of the Kingdom of the Kongo
- Thread starter constantinople
- Start date
constantinople
not Istanbul
Chapter XVI
*Fluusshh*
Mbemba: Ah... Um, hi? Were you standing outside the bathroom while I went?
Mobutu: That's not important. So, who will it be?
Mbemba: Who will who be?
Adviser: WHO ARE YOU SIDING WITH?! MOBUTU OR ME!!!
Mbemba: Oh, you're talking about the nuke, right?
Mobutu and Adviser: YES!!!
Mbemba: Well... Mobutu, you're nice... So are you, adviser. But, I'll have to go with my old friend, the adviser.
Adviser: Yes!
Mobutu: Guards, deport these traitors!
Mbemba: No!!!!
*Guards karry out Mbemba and adviser to plane*
Mobutu:
~~~~
*The duo are thrown out of the plane into icy mountains*
THUD!
Mbemba: Ow. Why didn't they give us parachutes?
Adviser: They were trying to kill us... Oh well. We are going to die out here. At least you chose me.
Mbemba: Actually, when I said "the adviser," I was referring to Mbeta.
Adviser: What?!
Mbemba: Oh well, we can patch up our relationship in these snowy mountains!
Adviser: Great. I'm going to die and that is the last face I'm going to see...
~~~~
Mbeta: Your move was very controversial, Mobutu. Several nations are shocked at the nuking of Somlolia.
Mobutu: Oh well, they all suck. Time to take the city!
Mobutu: We better kontinue bombing Fort Dolphin or whatever. So long and thanks for all the fish, bombers!
Mbeta: We are facing a problem in Ethiopia. Somalian rebels are swarming about there.
Mobutu: Oh well, the problem will solve itself.
~~~~
Mbemba: Okay, now how do you rub two sticks together, again?
Adviser: Ugh, didn't you learn this in boy skouts?
Mbemba: No, my slaves make fire for me.
Adviser: So everything was served to you on a silver platter?
Mbemba: No, how dare you! Silver platter?! Only a gold platter is akceptable! My Lord, how dare you suggest I deserve silver!
Adviser: Ugh... Hey, I think I see something...
Mbemba: More snow?
Adviser: No... No, it looks like a karavan.
Mbemba: Ha, those suckers. They're going to die out here.
Adviser: And so will we if we don't katch up to them...
*Two rebels pop out from behind a hill*
Rebel 1: FREEZE!
Mbemba: I already am...
Rebel 2: Down on the ground!
Mbemba: But its kold...
Adviser: Just do it!
Rebel 1: K'mon, let's take these morons to Somlolia. Kongrats, weirdos. You've been drafted into the rebel army. We're going to rekapture Mogadishu...
~~~~
Mobutu: I give up, let's just retreat! Our musketmen kan't take on infantry! Let's just see what will happen!
Mbeta: WAR!!!
Mobutu: Dang... I hope the West still sends me my 1 billion $ birthday money...
Mbeta: Spanish ships spotted!
Mobutu: Time to test out our navy and air force
Mobutu: Yay. We suck.
Mbeta: Now is the time to akt. We need Fort Dolphin.
Mobutu: Okay... Let's do it...
*Fluusshh*
Mbemba: Ah... Um, hi? Were you standing outside the bathroom while I went?
Mobutu: That's not important. So, who will it be?
Mbemba: Who will who be?
Adviser: WHO ARE YOU SIDING WITH?! MOBUTU OR ME!!!
Mbemba: Oh, you're talking about the nuke, right?
Mobutu and Adviser: YES!!!
Mbemba: Well... Mobutu, you're nice... So are you, adviser. But, I'll have to go with my old friend, the adviser.
Adviser: Yes!
Mobutu: Guards, deport these traitors!
Mbemba: No!!!!
*Guards karry out Mbemba and adviser to plane*
Mobutu:
~~~~
*The duo are thrown out of the plane into icy mountains*
THUD!
Mbemba: Ow. Why didn't they give us parachutes?
Adviser: They were trying to kill us... Oh well. We are going to die out here. At least you chose me.
Mbemba: Actually, when I said "the adviser," I was referring to Mbeta.
Adviser: What?!
Mbemba: Oh well, we can patch up our relationship in these snowy mountains!
Adviser: Great. I'm going to die and that is the last face I'm going to see...
~~~~
Mbeta: Your move was very controversial, Mobutu. Several nations are shocked at the nuking of Somlolia.
Spoiler :
Mobutu: Oh well, they all suck. Time to take the city!
Spoiler :
Mobutu: We better kontinue bombing Fort Dolphin or whatever. So long and thanks for all the fish, bombers!
Spoiler :
Mbeta: We are facing a problem in Ethiopia. Somalian rebels are swarming about there.
Mobutu: Oh well, the problem will solve itself.
Spoiler :
~~~~
Mbemba: Okay, now how do you rub two sticks together, again?
Adviser: Ugh, didn't you learn this in boy skouts?
Mbemba: No, my slaves make fire for me.
Adviser: So everything was served to you on a silver platter?
Mbemba: No, how dare you! Silver platter?! Only a gold platter is akceptable! My Lord, how dare you suggest I deserve silver!
Adviser: Ugh... Hey, I think I see something...
Mbemba: More snow?
Adviser: No... No, it looks like a karavan.
Mbemba: Ha, those suckers. They're going to die out here.
Adviser: And so will we if we don't katch up to them...
*Two rebels pop out from behind a hill*
Rebel 1: FREEZE!
Mbemba: I already am...
Rebel 2: Down on the ground!
Mbemba: But its kold...
Adviser: Just do it!
Rebel 1: K'mon, let's take these morons to Somlolia. Kongrats, weirdos. You've been drafted into the rebel army. We're going to rekapture Mogadishu...
~~~~
Mobutu: I give up, let's just retreat! Our musketmen kan't take on infantry! Let's just see what will happen!
Spoiler :
Mbeta: WAR!!!
Spoiler :
Mobutu: Dang... I hope the West still sends me my 1 billion $ birthday money...
Mbeta: Spanish ships spotted!
Mobutu: Time to test out our navy and air force
Spoiler :
Mobutu: Yay. We suck.
Mbeta: Now is the time to akt. We need Fort Dolphin.
Mobutu: Okay... Let's do it...
Spoiler :
baseballpie
Deity
- Joined
- Nov 13, 2012
- Messages
- 2,092
Go Mbemba!
mrrandomplayer
Hopeless Situation Warrior
I will root for the trees!
GreekAnalyzer
Back from the Dead
- Joined
- May 9, 2013
- Messages
- 1,936
Mbemba! Mbemba!
mrrandomplayer
Hopeless Situation Warrior
Since none of you got my crappy pun, I will root for the spectators!
pole475
The Blinding Light
I will root for portugal to not collapse before the game is over.
constantinople
not Istanbul
Chapter XVII
Rebel 1: So what are your names?
Mbemba: I'm Mbemba. His name is adviser.
Adviser: No, it's Lloyd Floyd.
Mbemba: Eh, whatever. You're not an important kharakter on this show.
Rebel 2: Wait? Mbemba? You're named after the king?
Mbemba: No, the king is named after me. ...Oh, wait! I am the king!
Rebel 1: You ordered the nuking of Mogadishu?! You son of a-!
Adviser: Wait, let's not get too rash. It was Mobutu. He ordered the attack on Mogadishu.
Rebel 2: Why should we believe that?
Mbemba: Because I'm good. Or at least a lesser of two evils.
Adviser: If you don't believe us, read Karnage of the Kingdom of the Kongo Chapter XV.
*Later*
Rebel 1: Heh, so you tried to stop Mobutu? I guess we should let you go. Or better yet, we can take you back to the kapital of the Kingdom of the Kongo!
Rebel 2: Wait, didn't Mbemba not really kare that we got nuked?
Mbemba: Then it's settled! I shall take back the throne!
~~~~
Mobutu: We need to kontinue bombing Madagaskar. We have to take the city. Dang the losses and kasualties!
Mbeta: Is this a good idea? We're going to get slaughtered. >.<
Mobutu: Don't be so pessimistik. Whiner. We will take the city. Have some konfidence.
Mbeta: Also, aren't you worried about Mbemba?
Mobutu: Why?
Mbeta: He's a major kharakter in this story.
Mobutu: Hey, the main star dies plenty of times. I'm sure this was one of them.
Mbeta: Ugh. Those Spaniards are going to be a real problem.
Mobutu: I'm not too worried about them. We need more paratroopers to land on Madagaskar.
Mobutu:
Mbeta: Another UN resolution has kome through.
Mobutu: Stupid UN and their peacekeeping. Why kan't I withdraw from them? Whyyyyyyyyyy??????
Mbeta: Oi, they want to keep the peace. That's something you never do.
Mobutu: Oh stop it, you're making me blush!
Mobutu: We better withdraw our paratroopers. Things are gonna get real.
Mobutu: Ready the taktikal nuke!
~~~~
Rebel 1: Well, we are going to have let you guys go here. We need to stay in Somalia. Good luck!
Mbemba: Thank you!
Adviser: Yeah, thanks!
Rebel 2: Tell Mobutu I say hi. He'll know what I mean.
Adviser: Okay...?
*Mbemba and Adviser walk away*
Adviser: We'll never make it to the kapital in time.
Mbemba: In time for what?
Adviser: Breaking Bad. The show's getting intense! K'mon, I need to see my stories!
Mbemba: Finally, civilization. We need to find a newspaper stand. I wonder if giant pirate monkeys have taken over.
Adviser: We've only been gone for a few years.
Mbemba: Hey, man, you never know.
Adviser: Here's one... Mobutu plans to nuke Madagaskar!
Mbemba: That raskal... We have to get to Mbanjo Kongo! Taksi! Taksi! Taksi!
Taxi Driver: Yesss?
Mbemba: Kan you drive a few thousand miles to Mbanjo Kongo?
Taxi Driver: No kan do. I have a radius of two and a half miles I kan drive.
Adviser: If you take us there I'll give you... This half eaten kandy bar.
Taxi Driver: That's more than I make in a year! Hop in!
~~~~
Mobutu: Now, to nuke Madagaskar! Anyone gonna stop me? ... ... ... ...Alright then! DIE!!!
Mobutu: SUKCESS!!! And the UN thing passed!
Mobutu: Fort Dolphin is mine!
*Ding-Dong*
Mobutu: The pizza guy's here!
*Opens door*
Mobutu: Ah, Mbemba! You got a job as pizza delivery boy! I knew you would move on!
*Mbemba punches Mobutu in the face*
Mobutu: Groan...
Mbemba: Get the heck out of here Mbeta.
Mbeta: Eeeeeeeee!!!
*Mbeta runs out the door*
Mobutu: Ugh... Where's my pizza...?
Adviser: We aren't no pizza boys! We kame to restore Mbemba.
Mobutu: You and what army?
Adviser: ...Erm, it's just us. But we have this rubber band we kan flick at you.
*Flick!*
Mobutu: Ow.
*Flick!*
Mobutu: Ow.
*Flick!*
Mobutu: Ow!
*Flick!*
Mobutu: OW!
*Flick!*
Mobutu: OW!!! OKAY, MBEMBA, YOU WIN!!!
Mbemba: Yes! W00T! Now get out!
Mobutu: You haven't seen the last of me!
*Jumps out window*
*THUD*
Adviser: Oh...
Mbemba: I think we have...
Mbemba: Time for some changes. Let's make peace with Spain!
Adviser: Ooh, looks like Mobutu messed up our government with all of this rapid ekspansion.
Mbemba: Goddangit.
Mbemba: Hopefully some political and ekonomik reforms will help.
Adviser: Shoot! Secession!
Mbemba: What?! Oh well... There's nothing we can do. We weren't meant to ekspand, I guess... At least our most useless city broke away.
Mbemba: Kontinue tekhnologikal research.
Adviser: We did it. We've kaught up largely with the West. We've entered the Modern Modern Era.
Rebel 1: So what are your names?
Mbemba: I'm Mbemba. His name is adviser.
Adviser: No, it's Lloyd Floyd.
Mbemba: Eh, whatever. You're not an important kharakter on this show.
Rebel 2: Wait? Mbemba? You're named after the king?
Mbemba: No, the king is named after me. ...Oh, wait! I am the king!
Rebel 1: You ordered the nuking of Mogadishu?! You son of a-!
Adviser: Wait, let's not get too rash. It was Mobutu. He ordered the attack on Mogadishu.
Rebel 2: Why should we believe that?
Mbemba: Because I'm good. Or at least a lesser of two evils.
Adviser: If you don't believe us, read Karnage of the Kingdom of the Kongo Chapter XV.
*Later*
Rebel 1: Heh, so you tried to stop Mobutu? I guess we should let you go. Or better yet, we can take you back to the kapital of the Kingdom of the Kongo!
Rebel 2: Wait, didn't Mbemba not really kare that we got nuked?
Mbemba: Then it's settled! I shall take back the throne!
~~~~
Mobutu: We need to kontinue bombing Madagaskar. We have to take the city. Dang the losses and kasualties!
Spoiler :
Mbeta: Is this a good idea? We're going to get slaughtered. >.<
Mobutu: Don't be so pessimistik. Whiner. We will take the city. Have some konfidence.
Mbeta: Also, aren't you worried about Mbemba?
Mobutu: Why?
Mbeta: He's a major kharakter in this story.
Mobutu: Hey, the main star dies plenty of times. I'm sure this was one of them.
Mbeta: Ugh. Those Spaniards are going to be a real problem.
Spoiler :
Mobutu: I'm not too worried about them. We need more paratroopers to land on Madagaskar.
Spoiler :
Mobutu:
Spoiler :
Mbeta: Another UN resolution has kome through.
Spoiler :
Mobutu: Stupid UN and their peacekeeping. Why kan't I withdraw from them? Whyyyyyyyyyy??????
Spoiler :
Mbeta: Oi, they want to keep the peace. That's something you never do.
Mobutu: Oh stop it, you're making me blush!
Spoiler :
Mobutu: We better withdraw our paratroopers. Things are gonna get real.
Spoiler :
Mobutu: Ready the taktikal nuke!
~~~~
Rebel 1: Well, we are going to have let you guys go here. We need to stay in Somalia. Good luck!
Mbemba: Thank you!
Adviser: Yeah, thanks!
Rebel 2: Tell Mobutu I say hi. He'll know what I mean.
Adviser: Okay...?
*Mbemba and Adviser walk away*
Adviser: We'll never make it to the kapital in time.
Mbemba: In time for what?
Adviser: Breaking Bad. The show's getting intense! K'mon, I need to see my stories!
Mbemba: Finally, civilization. We need to find a newspaper stand. I wonder if giant pirate monkeys have taken over.
Adviser: We've only been gone for a few years.
Mbemba: Hey, man, you never know.
Adviser: Here's one... Mobutu plans to nuke Madagaskar!
Mbemba: That raskal... We have to get to Mbanjo Kongo! Taksi! Taksi! Taksi!
Taxi Driver: Yesss?
Mbemba: Kan you drive a few thousand miles to Mbanjo Kongo?
Taxi Driver: No kan do. I have a radius of two and a half miles I kan drive.
Adviser: If you take us there I'll give you... This half eaten kandy bar.
Taxi Driver: That's more than I make in a year! Hop in!
~~~~
Mobutu: Now, to nuke Madagaskar! Anyone gonna stop me? ... ... ... ...Alright then! DIE!!!
Spoiler :
Mobutu: SUKCESS!!! And the UN thing passed!
Spoiler :
Mobutu: Fort Dolphin is mine!
Spoiler :
*Ding-Dong*
Mobutu: The pizza guy's here!
*Opens door*
Mobutu: Ah, Mbemba! You got a job as pizza delivery boy! I knew you would move on!
*Mbemba punches Mobutu in the face*
Mobutu: Groan...
Mbemba: Get the heck out of here Mbeta.
Mbeta: Eeeeeeeee!!!
*Mbeta runs out the door*
Mobutu: Ugh... Where's my pizza...?
Adviser: We aren't no pizza boys! We kame to restore Mbemba.
Mobutu: You and what army?
Adviser: ...Erm, it's just us. But we have this rubber band we kan flick at you.
*Flick!*
Mobutu: Ow.
*Flick!*
Mobutu: Ow.
*Flick!*
Mobutu: Ow!
*Flick!*
Mobutu: OW!
*Flick!*
Mobutu: OW!!! OKAY, MBEMBA, YOU WIN!!!
Mbemba: Yes! W00T! Now get out!
Mobutu: You haven't seen the last of me!
*Jumps out window*
*THUD*
Adviser: Oh...
Mbemba: I think we have...
Mbemba: Time for some changes. Let's make peace with Spain!
Spoiler :
Adviser: Ooh, looks like Mobutu messed up our government with all of this rapid ekspansion.
Mbemba: Goddangit.
Spoiler :
Mbemba: Hopefully some political and ekonomik reforms will help.
Spoiler :
Adviser: Shoot! Secession!
Mbemba: What?! Oh well... There's nothing we can do. We weren't meant to ekspand, I guess... At least our most useless city broke away.
Spoiler :
Mbemba: Kontinue tekhnologikal research.
Adviser: We did it. We've kaught up largely with the West. We've entered the Modern Modern Era.
Spoiler :
pole475
The Blinding Light
Next update can you show a picture of the Empire of Siam? 2529 points for them is crazy!
constantinople
not Istanbul
I already finished the story.
The reason Siam was so powerful was because they claimed a lot of China.
The reason Siam was so powerful was because they claimed a lot of China.
pole475
The Blinding Light
Well nice story!
mrrandomplayer
Hopeless Situation Warrior
Didn't you enter the Modern era when you discovered Refrigigeration,
constantinople
not Istanbul
I suppose I should say Modern Modern Era. Because Future Era sounds corny.
baseballpie
Deity
- Joined
- Nov 13, 2012
- Messages
- 2,092
Refrigigeration? 
constantinople
not Istanbul
Chapter XVIII
Mbemba: What do we do now?
Adviser: There still is the matter of the rebels who saved us in Somlolia.
Mbemba: Kill them!
Adviser: Why? They saved us from dying?
Mbemba: I heard one of them kall me fat behind my back! It is intolerable! INTOLERABLE!!!
Mbemba: There. The deed is done.
Adviser: I think the UN is running out of ideas.
Mbemba: Hooray, our ekonomy is going up!
Adviser: Probably because Rebel Killing has become a national sport and industry.
Mbemba: Time to make peace with the Dutch.
Adviser: Floods have washed upon South Afrika.
Pope: Dang it! It was the Byzzies! ...Oops, wrong story.
Adviser: Gabourne is revolting.
Mbemba: It is a pretty repulsive name.
Adviser: No, I mean the city wants to join us.
Mbemba: Kurse you, instability!
Mbemba: We should build an Olympik Park to start a golden age! Of death!
Mbemba: Yay! Another war! With Siam! And I thought we were Siamese twins...
Adviser: Amerika sure is upset...
Mbemba: What kind of monstrous kountry would use nukes?
Adviser: Us.
Mbemba: We don't kount. We're good. We're kool.
Adviser: Well, Portugal will hold us together.
Mbemba: May our "relationship"
with Maria grow ever stronger!
Adviser: Elektion day!
Mbemba: Ooh! I vote for Stalin! The man of steel! We're old chums.
Adviser: Finally, we don't kompletely suck.
Mbemba: We're adequate!
Adviser: If only Stalin was... It looks the USSR has ekspanded its influence into the Middle East, but they are overekspanding.
Adviser: Wow. A Malinese airplane has krashed into our territory. Do you know what this means?
Mbemba: Mali needs to train their pilots better?
Adviser: No!
Mbemba: Then I have no klue what you are talking about.
Adviser: We need to stall Mali so we kan eksamine their plane for espionage.
Mbemba: Why would a kommercial plane have plans for a nuke destined for the Kongo?
Adviser: Why wouldn't it?
Mbemba: Good point.
Adviser: We've done it. We've made the Olympik Park of the Kongo.
Mbemba: It's beautiful.
Adviser: Although we are not the most powerful civ, we are definitely the koolest. We started as a weak tribe and grew into a large empire that kontrolled most of subsaharan Afrika. We've seen good times and bad. We've lived many fond memories and killed millions of people.
Mbemba: And we regret nothing.
Adviser: I love you.
Mbemba: That means... *sniff* you're gay...
*Mbemba kries tears of joy*
*Mbemba and Adviser hug*
Adviser: I'm glad I kould be your adviser.
Mbemba: You still are, Lloyd Floyd. You still are...
The End
Mbemba: What do we do now?
Adviser: There still is the matter of the rebels who saved us in Somlolia.
Mbemba: Kill them!
Adviser: Why? They saved us from dying?
Mbemba: I heard one of them kall me fat behind my back! It is intolerable! INTOLERABLE!!!
Spoiler :
Mbemba: There. The deed is done.
Adviser: I think the UN is running out of ideas.
Spoiler :
Mbemba: Hooray, our ekonomy is going up!
Adviser: Probably because Rebel Killing has become a national sport and industry.
Spoiler :
Mbemba: Time to make peace with the Dutch.
Spoiler :
Adviser: Floods have washed upon South Afrika.
Pope: Dang it! It was the Byzzies! ...Oops, wrong story.
Spoiler :
Adviser: Gabourne is revolting.
Mbemba: It is a pretty repulsive name.
Adviser: No, I mean the city wants to join us.
Mbemba: Kurse you, instability!
Spoiler :
Mbemba: We should build an Olympik Park to start a golden age! Of death!
Spoiler :
Mbemba: Yay! Another war! With Siam! And I thought we were Siamese twins...
Spoiler :
Adviser: Amerika sure is upset...
Spoiler :
Mbemba: What kind of monstrous kountry would use nukes?
Adviser: Us.
Mbemba: We don't kount. We're good. We're kool.
Adviser: Well, Portugal will hold us together.
Spoiler :
Mbemba: May our "relationship"
with Maria grow ever stronger!Spoiler :
Adviser: Elektion day!
Mbemba: Ooh! I vote for Stalin! The man of steel! We're old chums.
Spoiler :
Adviser: Finally, we don't kompletely suck.
Mbemba: We're adequate!
Spoiler :
Adviser: If only Stalin was... It looks the USSR has ekspanded its influence into the Middle East, but they are overekspanding.
Spoiler :
Adviser: Wow. A Malinese airplane has krashed into our territory. Do you know what this means?
Mbemba: Mali needs to train their pilots better?
Adviser: No!
Mbemba: Then I have no klue what you are talking about.
Adviser: We need to stall Mali so we kan eksamine their plane for espionage.
Mbemba: Why would a kommercial plane have plans for a nuke destined for the Kongo?
Adviser: Why wouldn't it?
Mbemba: Good point.
Spoiler :
Adviser: We've done it. We've made the Olympik Park of the Kongo.
Mbemba: It's beautiful.
Spoiler :
Adviser: Although we are not the most powerful civ, we are definitely the koolest. We started as a weak tribe and grew into a large empire that kontrolled most of subsaharan Afrika. We've seen good times and bad. We've lived many fond memories and killed millions of people.
Mbemba: And we regret nothing.
Adviser: I love you.
Mbemba: That means... *sniff* you're gay...
*Mbemba kries tears of joy*
*Mbemba and Adviser hug*
Spoiler :
Adviser: I'm glad I kould be your adviser.
Mbemba: You still are, Lloyd Floyd. You still are...
The End
pole475
The Blinding Light
Im surprised that America never conquered the independent caribbean
baseballpie
Deity
- Joined
- Nov 13, 2012
- Messages
- 2,092
Very good. *claps*
Moai_Spammer
Ave, True to Caesar!
*sniff* that was beautiful
oh and, this had to be done...
oh and, this had to be done...
Spoiler :
