Are you using the stage recovery mod? I used it for a time but didnt like it. In the end it was all about adding lots of parachutes, which was tedious, unrealistic and added extra parts gratuitously.
I was trying to do the recovery without mods. My parachute solutions didn't seem to work very well, but I probably just needed more parachutes.
Also I would add a second stage to that stack by splitting the first stage about 2/3 of the way up and adding engines and a decoupler to the tank with fins on it midway up. Your stack is very inefficient if you are trying to get into orbit without burning fuel from your lander.
I thought of adding a stage, but the BFR doesn't seem to have one. And it seems I can
almost do it so I kept trying
At one point I was going to add a launch booster stage for the whole thing, which is not exactly what you're suggesting, but it would probably work. But I was sort of determined to keep everything reusable
Why is your first stage covered in solar panels?
Great question. It has three answers
1. One of my KSP "rules of building stuff" is that I always put certain things on each spaceship I'm building. Non-retractable solar panels, battery, backup battery, comm. dish, backup dish, a thermometer, and a probe control. And obviously a whole bunch of other stuff, but the stuff on the list always goes on so it's sort of automatic. As a result my space program never makes stupid engineering mistakes where something vital is missing, which used to actually happen quite a bit somehow.
But a 1st stage is not a spaceship (or is it?) but anyway I used to never follow this rule for the 1st stage because the 1st stage is garbage and just disappears in the atmosphere or the sea or whatever. Which brings us to point 2
2. I actually thought I would get the whole damn rocket in orbit in one go, and that I could then undock them and have 2 spaceship I'd be able to control. With that in mind my engineering rules of building stuff apply, and so I started adding some non-retractable solar panels. Which brings us to point 3
3. I was drinking
I have tried to put a bunch of chutes on my first stages to save them but it never works, they always dissapear. I think if I put a probe control on it then they might survive because the game will think it's an active satellite and won't just automagically dissappear it.
Yeah, you need to have a probe core on the 1st stage, so you can switch to it and control it. But the thing is you need to do that once you're already outside of the atmosphere. So if it's not possible to get in orbit with the whole rocket, what you essentially need to do is exit the atmosphere, undock, switch over to the 1st stage, land it, and then switch back to your payload and circularize.
Actually I guess you would circularize your payload before you land your 1st stage. Once you're done circularization your 1st stage should already be descending through the atmosphere, so you just switch to it and open its parachutes or whatever.