Kill the user above you

[JohannaK]

Then I catch a plane to the Netherlands to, disguised as a tourist plant a similar bomb in your house, to blow it up from a safe distance has soon as you cross the door.

 

[thecaesar]

JoanK is dumped into open space and is picked up by a passing spaceship precisely 31 seconds later.

 

[JohannaK]

But I survive as I was wearing a spacesuit. Then I mutiny and take control of the vessel to hunt the one that dumped me, in which thecaesar was, and then shoot it until nothing inside is left alive.

 

[thecaesar]

But I activate our shields just before my computer crashes from trying to figure out how to brew tea, thus surviving, and then your ship inexplicably turns into a sperm whale with you trapped inside and is pulled into the nearest planet's gravitational field.

 

[JohannaK]

But I had planted c4 on the shields generator, so I just stop you from activating them. And you're laser blasted to death.

 

[thecaesar]

But I planted my android with a defective personality chip in your ship, where he connected himself and overloaded your weapons system with artificially generated depression, causing your ship to commit suicide because it didn't wish to exist any longer.

I have the feeling that all my allusions are going to waste.

 

[JohannaK]

As the software in the spaceship can't process emotions, it rejects the device, your robot explodes and you finally die by fatal laser blast.

 

[SouthernKing]

I simply use the Death Star.

 

[JohannaK]

But then I infiltrate it with mah Millenium Falcon and destroy it from within, escaping just in time.

 

[thecaesar]

As the software in the spaceship can't process emotions, it rejects the device, your robot explodes and you finally die by fatal laser blast.

In that case, you get a blue screen of death. Literal death, unfortunately for you. Too bad you let microsoft design your onboard CPU...

 

[MantaRevan]

You all die a bloody death of specifics that I will leave to your imagination.

 

[thecaesar]

............It's genious!

 

[mayor]

I push a button

Spoiler :

seriously, I wanted to post this before I saw MantaRevan's post

 

[JohannaK]

I have no circumstances that might result in my death, but in yours! So when you (mayor) push the button, it explodes in your face. And you die of that severe injury, of course.

 

[SouthernKing]

I strap you down to a table and force feed you a pan galactic gargle blaster.

 

[JohannaK]

But I flip a coin distracting you an instant, which I use to free myself and feed YOU that thing.

 

[thecaesar]

And while you two are busy trying to feed each other alchoholic beverages, I lead the Ravenous Bugblatter beast of Traal over and it ravenously devours you both. There is no known escape from this monster except one, which only the people who are getting all these innumerable allusions will know.

 

[SouthernKing]

Yes, but I am able to go through the whole three month long process while using Hiro Nakamura's time powers and return in time to save just myself from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. Both of you are sent to Frogstar.

 

[thecaesar]

And at that point I discover that I am the most important being in the universe, while Joan's mind is obliterated by the Total perspective vortex. Unfortunately, I am then brought back into the actual universe, not one made just for me. However, I am far, far away from Frogstar, travelling around in my ship Heart of Gold.

Southernking runs into a band of angry Krikkit battle androids while enjoying a game of cricket.

 

[Elephantium]

You die of a heart attack when the new My Little Pony show is unexpectedly canceled.