LeBoshWade Nes: Bringing the HEAT
- Thread starter Nuka-sama
- Start date
Grandkhan
Telvanni Master Wizard
This is what happens when Mister Spock takes acid.
Crezth
i knew you were a real man of the left
Man Guy landed his private jet-o-copter in front of the volcano were the first god was hiding. Man Guy knew the Chinese gods were tough, but tough enough to be in a volcano? truly this would chalenge man guy's limits.
Man Guy put on some sunglasses to protect his eyes from the sun and then he walked into the volcanos' front door. just as he was about to enter, however, he encountered a strange smell that seemed almost familiar but not too familiar but still vagely recognizeable.
in a flash, Man Guy kicked open the volcano door and saw, standing right inside the volcano, a poodle-looking mfer smoken a bowl. man guys eyes narrowed behind his sunglasses.
"you! are you the chinese god?"
the man laughed wheezily "haahahahaha yes you ghave found me, i am Yu the chinese god"
"you are not me!" said Man Guy, perplexed.
"no i meant Yu, as in that is my name"
"oh okay"
"well mr yu," said man guy, "i will give you two options, 1 you stop smoking the bowl, 2 i make you stop smoking that bowl." Man Guy looked very intimidating
Yu scowled and threw down his bowl, and then told man guy to leave. "wise choice," said man guy, and he turned to leave but then Yu got CRAZY mad and he stood up and started cussing at man guy.
Man guy turned around and face Mr. yu. he took off his sunglasses very dramatically. "OK. you want to get high? let's get high." Then he kicked Mr. Yu like 8 feet in the air.
out of the nearby caldera came two flaming dragons. "FOR CHINE" shouted the dragons and they shot laser-fire at Man Guy. Man Guy jumped and dodged the laser-fires and ran up to Mr. Yu, who was struggling back to his feet. man guy knew the the dragons only existed so long as mr. yu lived.
"damn you, man guy, i just wanted to feel good!" said Mr. Yu angrily.
"this is your brain" said man guy, and he grabbed Mr. yu's head. "This is your brain on drugs" he then crushed Mr. Yu's head between his hands.
all of a sudden the dragons vanished and the entire volcano began to quake. Man Guy ran out the front entrance as quick as he could, and the volcano collapsed behind him. the smoldering embers of what was once a mighty fire mountain died slowly in the light of the fading day.
suddenly the police showed up. man guy recognized sergeant o'hannessy.
"thank god ye were here man guy" said the police sergeant, "we'll take it from here"
"well sarge, its a good thing you eventually showed up" said man guy, taking off his sunglasses and throwing them on the ground dramatically "maybe they should have built a dunkins donuts next to this volcano so you'd be here sooner!!!" with that man guy entered his heli-flyer and zoomed off to the destination of the next chinese god.
Man Guy put on some sunglasses to protect his eyes from the sun and then he walked into the volcanos' front door. just as he was about to enter, however, he encountered a strange smell that seemed almost familiar but not too familiar but still vagely recognizeable.
in a flash, Man Guy kicked open the volcano door and saw, standing right inside the volcano, a poodle-looking mfer smoken a bowl. man guys eyes narrowed behind his sunglasses.
"you! are you the chinese god?"
the man laughed wheezily "haahahahaha yes you ghave found me, i am Yu the chinese god"
"you are not me!" said Man Guy, perplexed.
"no i meant Yu, as in that is my name"
"oh okay"
"well mr yu," said man guy, "i will give you two options, 1 you stop smoking the bowl, 2 i make you stop smoking that bowl." Man Guy looked very intimidating
Yu scowled and threw down his bowl, and then told man guy to leave. "wise choice," said man guy, and he turned to leave but then Yu got CRAZY mad and he stood up and started cussing at man guy.
Man guy turned around and face Mr. yu. he took off his sunglasses very dramatically. "OK. you want to get high? let's get high." Then he kicked Mr. Yu like 8 feet in the air.
out of the nearby caldera came two flaming dragons. "FOR CHINE" shouted the dragons and they shot laser-fire at Man Guy. Man Guy jumped and dodged the laser-fires and ran up to Mr. Yu, who was struggling back to his feet. man guy knew the the dragons only existed so long as mr. yu lived.
"damn you, man guy, i just wanted to feel good!" said Mr. Yu angrily.
"this is your brain" said man guy, and he grabbed Mr. yu's head. "This is your brain on drugs" he then crushed Mr. Yu's head between his hands.
all of a sudden the dragons vanished and the entire volcano began to quake. Man Guy ran out the front entrance as quick as he could, and the volcano collapsed behind him. the smoldering embers of what was once a mighty fire mountain died slowly in the light of the fading day.
suddenly the police showed up. man guy recognized sergeant o'hannessy.
"thank god ye were here man guy" said the police sergeant, "we'll take it from here"
"well sarge, its a good thing you eventually showed up" said man guy, taking off his sunglasses and throwing them on the ground dramatically "maybe they should have built a dunkins donuts next to this volcano so you'd be here sooner!!!" with that man guy entered his heli-flyer and zoomed off to the destination of the next chinese god.
Grandkhan
Telvanni Master Wizard
SUPER SECRET DIEGO MARADONA ORDERS, DONUT READ!
Spoiler :
TheLizardKing
Let's talk Michelle.
King James Orders
Spoiler :
Eltain
Deity
Ottoman orders
Spoiler Orders do not read secret MOD eyes only keep out xxx love eltain :
Terrance888
Discord Reigns
The Boss Orders
LIKE A BOSS.
Spoiler :
LIKE A BOSS.
TheLizardKing
Let's talk Michelle.
I meant the Boss, not the Balls.
"Forgemaster, we have a Diego Maradona inbound at Mach One."
"Fire the black holes."
"And if that doesn't work?"
"Hypersonic incendiaries."
"And if that doesn't work?"
"Then we detach the ice cap and fly it to Jupiter on a space rocket. Duh. Have you even read our standard procedure manuals?"
"Yes sir, Forgemaster sir. This is a routine 32-7B- attack by a giant Diego Maradona."
"No. No no no no no. That would be a 32-7B-A29."
"Sorry. Um, then this one's a 32-7B-A7."
"No! You fool, that's attacks by an army of Diego Maradona clones!"
"32-7B-A61?"
"No, he's not on fire."
"He will be soon at the speed he's going at, if our friction calculations are accurate."
At this point, a supersonic Diego Maradona appeared in a blinding flash on the horizon. Several seconds behind him were an enthusiastic war-cry, interspersed with some comments about Argentine Antarctic Territory.
"32-7B-A33!"
"Fire the black holes."
"And if that doesn't work?"
"Hypersonic incendiaries."
"And if that doesn't work?"
"Then we detach the ice cap and fly it to Jupiter on a space rocket. Duh. Have you even read our standard procedure manuals?"
"Yes sir, Forgemaster sir. This is a routine 32-7B- attack by a giant Diego Maradona."
"No. No no no no no. That would be a 32-7B-A29."
"Sorry. Um, then this one's a 32-7B-A7."
"No! You fool, that's attacks by an army of Diego Maradona clones!"
"32-7B-A61?"
"No, he's not on fire."
"He will be soon at the speed he's going at, if our friction calculations are accurate."
At this point, a supersonic Diego Maradona appeared in a blinding flash on the horizon. Several seconds behind him were an enthusiastic war-cry, interspersed with some comments about Argentine Antarctic Territory.
"32-7B-A33!"
Grandkhan
Telvanni Master Wizard
There is no Argentine Antarctic Territory. There is only... Diego.
Edit: hey guyz i rote a stori.
once upon a tiem DIEGO MARADONA was walking ina field and there he caem acros his fiend the GREAT WIZZARD GUUS HIDDINK and then diego said"hallo GRAND WIZZARD HIDDINK"and then hiddink said 'yo dioge what up"and then diego sed"nm u?"nd then hiddink said "i'm pretty sweat tanks."
and then teh evol lord Pele appered and said"ahahahahahahahah maradona u cannt stoup me."and then diego said"oh no he is two pwerful"and then "hiddink said we musk retread"and then diego said "ok."and then they ran away.
dgieo sed "how to defet Pele?"and then hiddink said "we must be train abd i will be coach because i am best coach."
and then they went their and hiddink trained Maradona and the Socceroos because they are the best in the world. and then they took there soccer balls and fought Pele.
Oh no scried Pele because Diego was too powerful and pele died. And then the Socceroos said "hey dioge you are a pretty cool gay."and then diego said"yeah you guys are pretty boss too."and then they hung out and conquered Antarctica and played soccer.
The end.
Man I love soccer jokes, even if nobody gets them but me.
Edit: hey guyz i rote a stori.
once upon a tiem DIEGO MARADONA was walking ina field and there he caem acros his fiend the GREAT WIZZARD GUUS HIDDINK and then diego said"hallo GRAND WIZZARD HIDDINK"and then hiddink said 'yo dioge what up"and then diego sed"nm u?"nd then hiddink said "i'm pretty sweat tanks."
and then teh evol lord Pele appered and said"ahahahahahahahah maradona u cannt stoup me."and then diego said"oh no he is two pwerful"and then "hiddink said we musk retread"and then diego said "ok."and then they ran away.
dgieo sed "how to defet Pele?"and then hiddink said "we must be train abd i will be coach because i am best coach."
and then they went their and hiddink trained Maradona and the Socceroos because they are the best in the world. and then they took there soccer balls and fought Pele.
Oh no scried Pele because Diego was too powerful and pele died. And then the Socceroos said "hey dioge you are a pretty cool gay."and then diego said"yeah you guys are pretty boss too."and then they hung out and conquered Antarctica and played soccer.
The end.
Man I love soccer jokes, even if nobody gets them but me.
"32-7B-A93!"
A penguin desperately flipped through an operations manual.
"Attack by a Diego Maradona backed by the Australian National Football Team?"
"Actually, worse. This is a 32-7B-A93-12"
"Four Permutations? Really?"
"That one, as you doubtlessly know, is an attack by a Diego Montoya and the Australian National Football Team, in the event that Pele has been killed, dropping the Aegis of the Immortal."
"That sounds bad."
"Don't worry, it's just the Australian National Association Football Team, not their Australian Rules Football Team. And the Aegis really isn't all that, it just means we have to kill him twice."
"Well that's a relief."
A penguin desperately flipped through an operations manual.
"Attack by a Diego Maradona backed by the Australian National Football Team?"
"Actually, worse. This is a 32-7B-A93-12"
"Four Permutations? Really?"
"That one, as you doubtlessly know, is an attack by a Diego Montoya and the Australian National Football Team, in the event that Pele has been killed, dropping the Aegis of the Immortal."
"That sounds bad."
"Don't worry, it's just the Australian National Association Football Team, not their Australian Rules Football Team. And the Aegis really isn't all that, it just means we have to kill him twice."
"Well that's a relief."
Grandkhan
Telvanni Master Wizard
I refuse to believe that there is any universe in any dimension where Aussie Rules is anything but a gigantic, colossal joke outside Victoria.
Penguins, being multiversal beings, have to prepare for every possibility, no matter how slim, because it's guaranteed that they've already had to fight/fleet from/eat basically everything.
But yes, there's a reason that Aussie Rules is a lower-ranked permutation than Association Football.
But yes, there's a reason that Aussie Rules is a lower-ranked permutation than Association Football.
King James addicted to Opium, Still beats the Lakers
In what was a move that many saw coming, King James himself has become addicted to opium, a drug that once gripped all of China in its grasp. Potentially because of the war with China and wanting to understand his enemy, King James has taken on the drug, and has subsequently let it affect his gameplay. Of course, he was only playing Kobe 'Lucky' Bryant, and Pau 'Malarkey' Gasol, so it was a complete blowout, with the King scoring 46 points. "Ya'll be trash fools" said the King, publiclly saying that the Lakers were probably the worst team in Basketball. Bryant screamed at the King for an hour about nepotism and Gasol talked about Spanish unity. The Lakers are still on course to miss the playoffs
Terrible Referee Calling plagues Warriors
It seems the refs are out to get the Golden State Warriors. Over the past several games I have noticed numerous fouls that I would like to call "bullsh*t" on, yet the refs seem to have a single mindedness to destroy the aspirations of the Golden State Warriors. I am now planning to offer the Penguins the role of basketball refereeing, if they choose to accept it.
Jordan trades self, Owens, to the Heat
In a shocking move, Michael Jordan has approved a trade for himself and Terrell Owens to the Miami Heat. Though Jordan will continue to hold a majority stake in the ownership of the Bobcats, Jordan will be playing for the Heat, likely as a starter, potentially replacing Dwayne Wade in the Big 3. When NBA commissioner David Stern asked about a potential conflict of interest, Jordan assured him there was no problem in that department "Even if I wanted to help the team I owned, I couldn't" said a frank Jordan "It's happened so many times, I mean it seems several teams have tried just giving the Bobcats the game, but time after time, they cannot take the hint and come away with the W". Jordan recently led the Bobcats to their first January victory with a 108 point performance against the Magic, beating Wilt Chamberlain's single game record, but Jordan contended that his performance was not the miracle. "The headline ain't 'Jordan scores 108', it's lime, man I'm good, that sh*t's ta be xpected. The real wowzah here is 'Oh dang the Bobcats won? Shiiiiiiiiiiii'. Jordan and Owens have arrived in Miami, and are expected to play in the first game the Heat play when they return to Miami. Though the Heat did not have to give up any players for the Jordan-Owens trade, a lifetime season pass at Tootsie's Cabaret was arranged for all Bobcats personnel.
Weird Stuff goin on in Antarctica
Honestly, I have no idea what's going on. This is a BASKETBALL paper, not a World News article. I mean, I got a job to write about SPORTS. How am I supposed to know how Pele's death (if it happened, we don't know, the details are still sketch) would trigger an extra-dimensional invasion by intelligent and anthropomorphic penguins? How is ANYONE supposed to see that coming? And then those Australian guys, and them being part of one Australian league that hates the other which is allied to said Penguins? I mean, honestly, that's ridiculous. I can't even keep up with it, and honestly, anyone who allows a world like this to continue to run should be dragged into the streets, applauded for his visionary genius, and then let go with a warning.
In what was a move that many saw coming, King James himself has become addicted to opium, a drug that once gripped all of China in its grasp. Potentially because of the war with China and wanting to understand his enemy, King James has taken on the drug, and has subsequently let it affect his gameplay. Of course, he was only playing Kobe 'Lucky' Bryant, and Pau 'Malarkey' Gasol, so it was a complete blowout, with the King scoring 46 points. "Ya'll be trash fools" said the King, publiclly saying that the Lakers were probably the worst team in Basketball. Bryant screamed at the King for an hour about nepotism and Gasol talked about Spanish unity. The Lakers are still on course to miss the playoffs
Terrible Referee Calling plagues Warriors
It seems the refs are out to get the Golden State Warriors. Over the past several games I have noticed numerous fouls that I would like to call "bullsh*t" on, yet the refs seem to have a single mindedness to destroy the aspirations of the Golden State Warriors. I am now planning to offer the Penguins the role of basketball refereeing, if they choose to accept it.
Jordan trades self, Owens, to the Heat
In a shocking move, Michael Jordan has approved a trade for himself and Terrell Owens to the Miami Heat. Though Jordan will continue to hold a majority stake in the ownership of the Bobcats, Jordan will be playing for the Heat, likely as a starter, potentially replacing Dwayne Wade in the Big 3. When NBA commissioner David Stern asked about a potential conflict of interest, Jordan assured him there was no problem in that department "Even if I wanted to help the team I owned, I couldn't" said a frank Jordan "It's happened so many times, I mean it seems several teams have tried just giving the Bobcats the game, but time after time, they cannot take the hint and come away with the W". Jordan recently led the Bobcats to their first January victory with a 108 point performance against the Magic, beating Wilt Chamberlain's single game record, but Jordan contended that his performance was not the miracle. "The headline ain't 'Jordan scores 108', it's lime, man I'm good, that sh*t's ta be xpected. The real wowzah here is 'Oh dang the Bobcats won? Shiiiiiiiiiiii'. Jordan and Owens have arrived in Miami, and are expected to play in the first game the Heat play when they return to Miami. Though the Heat did not have to give up any players for the Jordan-Owens trade, a lifetime season pass at Tootsie's Cabaret was arranged for all Bobcats personnel.
Weird Stuff goin on in Antarctica
Honestly, I have no idea what's going on. This is a BASKETBALL paper, not a World News article. I mean, I got a job to write about SPORTS. How am I supposed to know how Pele's death (if it happened, we don't know, the details are still sketch) would trigger an extra-dimensional invasion by intelligent and anthropomorphic penguins? How is ANYONE supposed to see that coming? And then those Australian guys, and them being part of one Australian league that hates the other which is allied to said Penguins? I mean, honestly, that's ridiculous. I can't even keep up with it, and honestly, anyone who allows a world like this to continue to run should be dragged into the streets, applauded for his visionary genius, and then let go with a warning.
Eltain
Deity
North Korea drops a nuke on Miami Heat.
Terrance888
Discord Reigns
Modding? Eh?
I access their flash files and delete them.
I access their flash files and delete them.
