Let the Zulu Bashing Begin!

[Cunobelin Of Hippo]

Hey, sorry about missing ya Kev

. I'm just so caught up in my Zulu bashing!

Pro-Zulu forces gather at the gates of CivFanatics to lure new members to their society!

Leowind: Hey, from the smells of you, I think you'd make a great Zulu!

Inocent Lurker: Ohh, you're too kind! You've lost weight since the last time I saw you!

Leowind: Yeah, it was building up, then BOOM! But it got rid of the AZC, for the moment.

Blitz: Be cool like us! Backstab! Build horseman! Train donkeys! Wipe your @$$ with leaves!

Loaf Warden: Live in places like Ulundi, Hloblane, and Zimbabwe.

Smash: Suck #@*($& and #(*$&@ cows.

Leowind: That's my favorite part! So, will you join us?

Inocent lurker: Oh yes! I am such a Zulu!

Hippo: What the (*$#@ are you doing to that little boy, Leowind? (*$#@& sick people like you...zulus.

Kev: No)$#(*@$! Hey kid, its cool to hate Zulus!

Vladmir: Yah. And if you don't join us, we'll #*$(@& the #(*$&@ out of you!

Blitz: Don't *$#E@#& with us Lenin!

Loaf Warden: Donkey representin' get busy on your $ #@()#$@&$ @$$! Power to Hloblane!

Mr Bond: Time to bust this joint up. MACHINE GUN SPRAY BUSTS UP THE JOINT! ZULUS DIVE FOR COVER! INNOCENT LURKER BREAKS DOWN INTO TEARS.

Vlad: Hey, I got an idea! Lets go $*#(&@ up Ulundi!

Everyone else: Yeah! #($R*&# ZUlus! $#&*@ Zulus! #&$@ Zulus!

The saga gets intense...

 

[goodbye_mr_bond]

Why am I always shooting people up?

Can't I just go undercover and sleep with beautiful green Zulu spy-babes before I use them as human shields? (Not that I'd want to--I'd be doing it for the good of the AZC. And besides, how could they resist my non-Zulu charm?)

 

[Kev]

Thanks Brothers. I'm glad to get into some action.

I will continue my secret recordings and report them at proper intervals. It would seem that our well-advanced knowledge of espionage will continue to serve us well.

Here is a brief recording of the pre-summit Zulu love-fest:

Leowind: Thanks for showing up to the pre-summit Zulu love-fest. All hail Shaka.
Blitz, Smash, Loaf: Yay, Shaka.
Leowind: Let us quickly intone our tedious mantra.
All: Begone from our territory.... We grow jealous of your knowledge... We need more elephants.... Sneak attacks are good.
Leowind: So has anyone managed to convince any new recruits?
SILENCE...........
Blitz: Well, I spoke with someone who DIDN'T spit in my face when I said Zulu.
Loaf: Wow, great job man.
BLitz: I'm blushing.
Leowind: Well, I'm still nervous. There is no way we can compete with the AZC and this summit will do nothing but prove that point.
Blitz: So let's start a fight. I'll just run out there and yell PREPARE FOR WAR! You know how much we all LOVE to say that.
Loaf: Mmmmmmmmmmmmm WWWAAAAAAARRRR!
Leowind: Another idea - we need a snappy poster to impress and intimidate.
Smash: Smash will make one. It will say good things. (sounds of writing and painful thinking)
Blitz: Finished yet, Smash?
Smash: Here! It say Z-o-o-L-o-s-e then has an arrow to point to us.
Leowind: That's great. Let's Gooooo!
All: Incoherent yelling as they leave the room.

** End of transmission.

------------------
Diplomacy - the art of
saying "Good Doggie"
until you can find a rock

 

[Cunobelin Of Hippo]

Hey Mr Bond, don't you like shooting people up? I mean, yes, you could go undercover and get some Zulu, but is it worth the smell?

------------------
Zulu Civilization destroyed by Hippoan Celts.

 

[Cunobelin Of Hippo]

Vladmir: Okay, so we, the AZC, are going to let you guys into negotiations with us?
Leowind: Right. Don't try any (*$&@ with us, Lenin. *#@#Y with me, and I'll #*(@&$ your whole *#&@$@Y Cult up!
Hippo: Hey, man. I'mma be on security tonight, and if y'all get rowdy I'mma *#@& bust up the meeting with my *(#$Y#@ sawed off double barrel.
Blitz: I'll be watching you Hippo.
Fisheads: And I'll be smelling you, Blitzy. Not hard from 300 feet.
Blitz: $##@$@ you!
Vladmir: Hey! Can it. You know that that @&$#(* Hakan Ericksson is gonna come try and break up our meeting with his 'lets be frineds @*$##&%(). Mr. Bond is going to deal with him if he does, so don't worry. Now, get the *(@% out of my office.
Leowind: Just one thing, Lenin...
Hippo: MOVE IT OUT! You heard the man speak! #$*UR clear out!
Smash: To the Zulumobile! My donkey!

The saga continues. Negotiations, tonigt at 2100

------------------
Zulu Civilization destroyed by Hippoan Celts.

 

[penvzila]

FLASH: Brand new intelligence reports indicate a recent massacre of a perimiter ACZ town. The details are sketchy, but the field agent we extracted gave a horrific account before dying of massive bleeding from his severed limbs. The heads of the one thousand villagers were thrust on stakes in a sacrifice to their evil god, Shaka.
Reccomedation to ACZ chiefs of state: strike now with all available force!

 

[goodbye_mr_bond]

Don't do it! Penvzilla is an Anti-CULT Zulu! Either that or dyslexic! Doesn't anybody notice how he keeps writing ACZ instead of AZC???

 

[Cunobelin Of Hippo]

Shut thy yap, traitor! Penvzila is probably just high, give him some room.

In a dark alley behind CivFanatics. Thunderfall has closed up for the day, and the sleeping moderators pose no danger to three shadowy figures.

MR BOND

kay, where the *($#@'s my 10K?
LOAF WARDEN:Easy, man. I've got it here. Now, we understand the terms of your defection, right? You go and rub it in vladmir and hippos face that you turned on them? Good.
MR BOND:Yeah, just gimme the #)@*% cash! My kids are going hungry 'cause the Mongolian dollar dropped to 10 cents Zululian!
SMASH HANDS HIM A BRIEFCASE
This is nice. Okay, thanks boys. I'll just ride back home on my donkey now...
UNNOTICED, WOLF SPRITZER PEERS OUT FROM BEHIND GARBAGE CAN! HE HAS THE STORY! ALSO UNNOTICED, HIPPO HOPS INTO HIS '52 FORD AND TURNS THE KEY...

MR BOND: Bye! VROOM VROOOOOM! HIPPO FLARES HIS HIGH BEAMS AND ROARS doWN THE ALLEY!
SMASH: AHHH! Run Zulus! BAM BAM BAM! VLadmir is leaning out the window with a cocked shotgun, blasting away at the Zulus!

VLADMIR: Traitor! I'll kill you Bond!
MR BOND: $#@*)% you, Lenin! HIPPO FLOORED IT!
LOAF WARDEN: NOOOOOOOOO! His legs are crushed under vehicle! A of A, Fisheads, Willem, and Kev arrive on seen, and deliver the fallen Zulu a harsh beating!
BUT THE DONKEYS WERE RUNNING! HIPPO STAYED ON THE TRAIL< AND DISAPPEARED INTO THE NIGHT!


------------------
Zulu Civilization destroyed by Hippoan Celts.

 

[Lefty Scaevola]

CyborgCiv says: Zulu will be assimilated; AZC will be assimilated; ACZ will assimilated; traitors will assimilated; loyalist will be assimilated; Brittany Spears will not be assimilated, she will be made into a sex slave.

 

[Kefka]

I Belive that those Zulus May be planing a retern and we must rise up and hold off the those evil Zulus I belive the Time is right SO LET THE ZULU BASHING BEGIN!

------------------
<IMG SRC="http://www.grworld.com/vanillacubesgames/files/kefka.gif" border=0>"Why Create things when you know they must be destroyed!"
"I will Create A monument to nothingness!"

 

[animepornstar]

animepornstar declares that he join the anit-zulu threads cult (aztec):

"i love the smell of closed zulu threads in the morning"

------------------
<IMG SRC="http://home.oea.se/oea01190/Image72.jpg" border=0>

 

[Pedro]

THE FIRST KING OF THE ZULUS, SHAKA UNITED THE TRIBAL VILLAGES UNDER HIS RULE AND FORGED THE ZULU ARMY. IN A SHORT PERIOD HE CONQUERED ALL NEARBY ENEMIES AND ESTABLISHED ZULULAND. HE AND HIS DESCENDANTS RULES UNCONTESTED UNTIL EUROPEANS ARRIVED ON THE BORDER. THOUGH THE ZULUS WERE WITHOUT PEER AS INDIVIDUAL WARRIORS, THEY PROVED NO MATCH FOR WELL-LED EUROPEAN ARMIES WITH SUPERIOR WEAPONS.

HOWEVER, SHAKA'S SPIRIT STILL LIVES ON TODAY.. AND WITH THE SAME VIGILANCE AS CENTURIES BEFORE, HIS FOLLOWERS FIGHT A BATTLE AGAINST THE INGORANCE, THE HATRED, THE HOSTILITY OF THE OPPONENTS OF THE GREAT ZULU EMPIRE...

<IMG SRC="http://www.civfanatics.com/civ1/cia/images/shaka2.gif" border=0>
SHAKA LIVES ON!


[This message has been edited by Pedro (edited July 17, 2001).]

 

[Håkon]

I'm joining the Aztec club. Can't believe you're digging up a four mounths old topic. Let this die in peace.

------------------
What's wrong with Bodø/Glimt?

 

[Magnus]

As this conflict began before I existed here, I shall mercifully abstain from the festivities and observe and watch for atrocities.

 

[Leowind]

Originally posted by Kefka:
I Belive that those Zulus May be planing a retern and we must rise up and hold off the those evil Zulus I belive the Time is right SO LET THE ZULU BASHING BEGIN!

The Zulu Alliance never went away, so cannot, in that sense, "return." We merely remain vigilant against the facist forces of darkness, as represented in the past by the communist-puppet group, the AZC (Anti Zulu Cult). Should they, or any other oppressive group, resume their unprovoked and shameless attacks on the glorious Zulu empire, then we shall be ready...

------------------
Leowind, former Founder of the Zulu Alliance.
Fighting that ALL may be free from oppression
Join us at Zulus Unite! thread and make the (Civ) world a better place!

 

[Simon Darkshade]

Bah! Peaceniks! I, Beloved Comrade Simon Darkshade, hereby authorize the intervention of Evil Empire and Soviet Union armed forces on the side of the AZC, against these nasty little Zulu's.
(

"Comrade General Sasha Budenny, Commander of the 2nd Corps of the Evil/Soviet Expeditionary Force, lands in the port of (x) accompanied by advance elements of the thousands of marines, paratroopers, howitzers, armor and mech inf that make up his force. He is regailed by the local AZC commander, and they begin to make war plans together. Some 25 similar units have been dispatched from both the Soviet mainland and Evil HQ in Australia. The Strategic Rocket Forces are thought to have aimed 40000 SS200s at the Zulu heartland, and the missile submarine "Red October" has been dispatched to the area, along with 98 similar subs. An amazing 18 carrier battlegroups, ecsorted by 30 battleships are also heading towards Zulu waters.

The Red Air Force has assured observers that its Su-127 and Mig-129 Stealth Laser Fighters will have little trouble with the Zulu Donkeys. Longrange bombers, including Blackfire Tu-200s and the famed Darkshade Mig-256 Stealth Fighter Bomber are said to be cruising in holding positions.
Up to 10 000 Mi-124 Super Hinds are in use with the expeditionary force, which is not to strike until the arrival of the elite 1st Guards Corps, commanded by Darkshade himself.
KGB and Spetsnaz forces are already infiltrating Zulu lines, and allied Cuban troops also accidently in Africa are sitting menacingly on the border, commanded by General Khrushchev.
It seems that little or nothing can prevent war in this part of the world. I am Viktor Sunoffabisch, for TASS. Repeating this newsflash once again: Beloved Comrade Darkshade intervenes in the Zulu War on the side of the AZC. More news as it comes in from the censor."

Howzat, Zulu's?

------------------
Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you.
- N.S.Khrushchev

 

[Leowind]

Ahh, my friend Simon. It appears the illness has overtaken you yet again. Hallucinations. Visions of Grandeur. The pattern repeats itself. Sit down, my friend. I will try to pull you back into reality once again. Best simply to be blunt. The Soviet Union is no more. It has not existed for many years, now, more than I can remember. Consequently, there are no hordes of tanks, missles, howitzers, marines, or anything else that can be amassed as you seem to be imagining. As for evil headquarters in Australia; well, given the delusions in the rest of your post, we can only assume it does not exist either. While Zulu Alliance forces always remain vigilant to repell unprovoked agressors, we honestly have little to fear from your imaginary friends.

------------------
Leowind, former Founder of the Zulu Alliance.
Fighting that ALL may be free from oppression
Join us at Zulus Unite! thread and make the (Civ) world a better place!

 

[vladmir_illych_lenin]

Leowind, Leowind, Leowind...When will you learn? Haven't you met the Zulu's in real life aka Civilization? They're annoying little gremlins who run around attacking caravans and pillaging railroads with their puny warriors. We are merely trying to protect the world by getting rid of the zulus once and for all! Getting rid of the Zulus are like finding the cure for cancer! SO what the ZA are trying to say is that breaking treaties and pinning down your troops are good for you? The Zulus will turn on you one of these days, ZA. Muahahahaha!

 

[Simon Darkshade]

Very well, Leowind. If that is the response that one gets from trying to join in, then f**k it. I must have missed the bit that said that somewhat humorous Civ-inspired imagery was the sole domain of a few. You may keep your little game to yourselves. I shall not bother you again.

------------------
Whether you like it or not, history is on our side. We will bury you.
- N.S.Khrushchev

 

[Leowind]

Originally posted by Simon Darkshade:
Very well, Leowind. If that is the response that one gets from trying to join in, then f**k it. I must have missed the bit that said that somewhat humorous Civ-inspired imagery was the sole domain of a few. You may keep your little game to yourselves. I shall not bother you again.

Simon, I thought it was evident that my response was in the same spirit of fun as your post. My apologies to you if it did not come across that way. Even though you have chosen the side of darkness (once again, in the spirit of "the game"), you are welcome to participate. A joint statement of the ZA and AZC has been issued under "News Flash," so you might want to check it out first.

still friends ?


------------------
Leowind, former Founder of the Zulu Alliance.
Fighting that ALL may be free from oppression
Join us and make the (Civ) world a better place!

[This message has been edited by Leowind (edited July 19, 2001).]