Liberals, LOLz!

[Narz]

This joke is so bad it's actually good. My mother (who's a right-leaning libertarian) forwarded it to me.

Biker rescues Child, The New York Times

A biker is riding by the zoo, when he sees a little girl leaning into the
lion's cage.

Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull
her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents.

The biker jumps off his bike, runs to the cage and hits the lion square
on the nose with a powerful punch.

Whimpering from the pain the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, and
the biker brings her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.

A New York Times reporter has watched the whole event.

The reporter addressing the biker says, 'Sir, this was the most gallant
and brave thing I saw a man do in my whole life.'

The biker replies, 'Why, it was nothing, really, the lion was behind
bars. I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt right.'

The reporter says, 'Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a
journalist from the New York Times, you know, and tomorrow's paper will have this story on the
front page... So, what do you do for a living and what political affiliation do you have?''

The biker replies, 'I'm a U.S. Marine and a Republican.'

The journalist leaves.

The following morning the biker buys The New York Times to see if it
indeed brings news of his actions, and reads, on front page: *

U.S. MARINE ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT AND STEALS HIS LUNCH

The punchline depends on the "knowledge" that the NY Times is a "leftist" newspaper, something I personally am skeptical about, it may lean a little left but compared to the NY Post (one of the worst papers I've ever read & about the most partisan - towards the right) it's as fair & balanced as lady justice.

Anywayz, a groaner I couldn't help but chuckle at. Hope you enjoyed.

 

[Bigfoot3814]

The punchline depends on the "knowledge" that the NY Times is a "leftist" newspaper, something I personally am skeptical about, it may lean a little left but compared to the NY Post (one of the worst papers I've ever read & about the most partisan - towards the right) it's as fair & balanced as lady justice.

That's why they give it out for free on the train. (Notice the clear absence of a sarcastic smiley in this space)

Funny story though. Even though I don't mind the times all that much.

 

[Phlegmak]

This joke is so bad it's actually good. My mother (who's a right-leaning libertarian) forwarded it to me.



The punchline depends on the "knowledge" that the NY Times is a "leftist" newspaper, something I personally am skeptical about, it may lean a little left but compared to the NY Post (one of the worst papers I've ever read & about the most partisan - towards the right) it's as fair & balanced as lady justice.

Anywayz, a groaner I couldn't help but chuckle at. Hope you enjoyed.

You should read the Conservapedia page on Liberals for some good lolz.

 

[dwaxe]

You should read the Conservapedia page on Liberals for some good lolz.

THIS IS FUNNY!!!

 

[Jerrymander]

THIS IS FUNNY!!!

That's what liberals are.

Unless you're trying to make a joke that anything Conservatives say is false, and therefore funny.

Or something else I'm missing.

Edit: Nevermind, you're a liberal. Ergo, moderately ********.

 

[bigdog5994]

Ha thats kinda funny

 

[nonconformist]

Edit: Nevermind, you're a liberal. Ergo, moderately ********.

In that case, would that make America a moderately ******** country, seeing as it was founded upon liberalism?

 

[Phlegmak]

That's what liberals are.

Unless you're trying to make a joke that anything Conservatives say is false, and therefore funny.

Or something else I'm missing.

Edit: Nevermind, you're a liberal. Ergo, moderately ********.

The articles about liberals on Conservapedia are idiotic; therefore, they're funny.

 

[dwaxe]

That's what liberals are.

Unless you're trying to make a joke that anything Conservatives say is false, and therefore funny.

Or something else I'm missing.

Edit: Nevermind, you're a liberal. Ergo, moderately ********.

I'm not making a joke that anything Conservatives say is false. My joke is that Conservapedia is, as everyone knows, moronic. Conservatives have good ideas too, I just disagree with them on the majority of issues. If I believed they were false, I wouldn't be supporting Barack Obama, I'd support Lieberman. I'm sorry that you're currently more of a partisan hack than I.

Through your logic, you show the awesome bipartisanship which is practiced by John McCain.

 

[DBear]

The funniest jokes are those that are based on the truth. That's why OP's joke is funny.

 

[holy king]

no, it wouldnt work if it wouldnt come over the top.

 

[Huayna Capac357]

Lol, that is funny. Though stupid.

EDIT: I'm sorry, I didn't check the date. So sorry

 

[Firestorm94]

nice mini-necro, Huayna Capac357.

On Topic:I smiled.

 

[Sharwood]

Funny. Very funny.

 

[Maniacal]

This thread is hilarious Jerrymander, , just ,

 

[classical_hero]

That is good.

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

I heard a variant in which an Argentine tourist in Mexico saves a crowd by "gunning down a defenseless lion", because apparently Mexicans don't think much of Argentines. This joke was told to me by a Mexican mission companion.

 

[J-man]

LOL, It's a good joke...