I'm shocked that so many people who have racked up tens of thousands of posts on a computer game forum would strongly identify with a slacker way of life.
Anyway, this is a fascinating thread and I'm always interested in the specific ways new generations reflex against the old norms. I'm firmly in the camp of questioning the mainstream and figuring out my own path. Lots of posts here resonate with me. I am, however, mindful of
@Birdjaguar 's warning that relationships are work. They really are! I'm not sure that either the romanticism of the west or the traditonalists that
@aelf describes in the far east adequately equip young people for the reality of a healthy relationship. It doesn't
sound like the
tang ping movement (I am absolutely not calling it "lying-flatism", ffs) does any better at it, but I do think that "romantic relationships aren't necessary for happiness" is a good place from which to start that journey.
on the note of work (professional or otherwise), no the thread isn't about me, but i'll just note that my own perspective on life (negative hedonism) doesn't actually have anything to do with being lazy, or not wanting to putting in work. it's about setting your needs to your expectations of outcome, in the service of being fulfilled. the point of hedonism is to be
sated, everything else is peripheral; how you then manage that depends on your methods (positive hedonists indulge, negative hedonists also indulge, but keep their means to do that low/according to their situation.) if you land a safe and good job, sure, you can indulge in greater needs. i
chose to be an idiot poet, so i set my expectations and cognitivized (terminology?) my needs to the appropriate level. a lot of people become artists wanting to be terry pratchet or beyoncé or whatever and that's just not reasonably gonna happen, even if you're skilled. i know
plenty of
excellent writers that earn no money from it and get no attention, there's simply too many skilled people and too little money going around; so a lot of the prospects is somewhat randomly distributed through sheer chance. everyone that has had an "opportune" job ever can relate to this.
and i say this, btw, as someone who has made it
far above the average for an author. people don't commonly know me, but within the writing environment in denmark, i actually am a name. i've won an award, i've been taught at the best school of my country (2% accepted applications the year i got in), i've taught writing, i've been published both solo and in many magazines, i've worked at an artsy fiction publisher. still, i am not unique in what i do or particularly competent above many people who never got that chance to get at what i've done, even if their abilities often far outpace mine.
so even before i got into it, i made sure to mold my dreams constantly so i wouldn't hate being poor. it sucks enough already to have no money; no reason to mix in the fact that i'll never become a rock star. but it doesn't mean i'm still not writing, that i'm not willing to put in the work, that i'm not willing to teach and discuss and mingle, and it - sidenote - extends to everything else in life, including relationships. i've made sure as much as i could that i'm comfortable on my own since i can't really control whether i meet the right person. but it doesn't mean the work isn't worth it if i find someone special. i've actually had plenty of girlfriends too, and i've since found out that a big part of those escapades was because i was afraid of being alone ("i am supposed to be with someone"), not because i actually got fulfilled from being with the people in question, regardless of the work needed to sustain the relationships. if i meet someone special, of course i'll put in the work, because the whole point is to have your senses pleased, and someone who suits you will be exceptionally fulfilling ("pleasure" always includes the emotional part of romance).
also like, the scale of hedonism from negative to positive really doesn't care about being wealthy, or putting work in to succeed. reclining, eating grapes, is the stereotype of course, but the point is more many
positive hedonists are as poor as i am, but, say, indulge in drugs for example; and i don't mean that drugs are always awful (i'm rather open-minded about the nature of drugs), rather, they actually indulge in it to a degree that they'll end up unhappy. you understand the difference. it extends to other areas, taking out loans to buy sensations they couldn't afford. there's also facets of positive hedonism where they use sensations as blankets to cover holes, such as engaging in relationships that don't actually fulfil them, but serve semblances of pleasure. positive hedonists (what is colloquially just hedonists) have a poor reputation for this reason; the common idea of it is of a very unhealthy person that can never become truly happy, but can only indulge.
-
and -
neither do i have the perspective that i shouldn't try changing things that are awful on a large scale. that's also a misreading. everyone on this forum should be aware that i try as hard as i can with my limited time and resources. it's more that for me, personally, managing my needs in a way that i'm as fulfilled as possible means that i don't spiral into depression when prospects don't come into fruition.
