Mad things you thought as a small kid

[RedRalph]

When I was a small kid I thought...

Britain was a city in England

Jesus was known as God, and the Pope was 'The Lord'

All of Russia was freezing, all the time

All of America was roasting hot, all the time

You always got change when you bought something, even if you gave the right money

Africa was a country

On a side note, my Ma thought Indochina was "Indoor China" and couldnt work out how an entire war could be fought in houses

 

[Kyriakos]

When i was in the early elementary school years i thought that the human body was formed out of the emotion the individual felt. This was due to my observation that whenever i felt differently, the images in the mirror were different to a degree.
It led to a myriad other thoughts and theories.

 

[bhsup]

I thought you made a car go in reverse by constantly making small movements on the steering wheel as you looked backwards.

 

[Alpine Trooper]

I thought all dogs were male and all cats were female.

Before I understood what countries were or geography was I thought Detroit was Toronto. I also thought that North America was made up of Detroit and Toronto countries I suppose. This is probably because I went to Detroit Tigers baseball games as a kid when they played the Blue Jays.

 

[RedRalph]

the cats & dogs one is not uncommon Alpine, possibly because thats usually how they are portrayed in cartoons

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

i used to think that in the world wars the canadians were fighting against the americans. i don't know where this came from.

i also believed that if you took a label off a cassette or vhs, it wouldn't play anymore.

 

[Death_Machine]

i used to think we were "human beans"

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

i also believed that when people got old enough, they suddenly shrunk and turned back into babies.

 

[The Fishman]

My brother used to call ladybirds ('ladybugs') 'nyang-nyang'.

 

[Mirc]

I thought the same about the change.

I also thought that:

Corn fields could fly (in my language, corn and pigeon sound very, very similar, I knew what each was but they were still borrowing traits from each other, like corn being able to fly and pigeons having corn in their insides).

Giraffes have 2 humps on their back.

Jacques Chirac was not one, but two people who had some very important role in France at the same time, and were only seen together, always, like some kind of siamese twins (again, language thing: the "chi" that is read like a "shee" in the beginning of his last name sounds exactly like the Romanian word for "and", which caused me and thousands of other kids to believe that what people were actually saying was "Jacques AND Rac", ironically the "two" names even rhyming )

Smoking was achieved through slow eating of the back of a burning cigarette, which is why I was associating cigars with fat people.

Cars move by blowing air or smoke out of the exhaust system, which is why the exhaust is always at the back.
(nobody explained to me the principles of reaction, somehow I knew it all instinctively. It actually always felt like I knew it since before I was born, somehow). I thought the wheels were just there to ease the movement (reduce the friction, but I didn't know about that then)

And many more, of course.

 

[Kyriakos]

Perhaps a slightly more common one is that i thought that actors in films who died, were paid a huge sum of money so as to be executed

 

[bigdog5994]

i also believed that when people got old enough, they suddenly shrunk and turned back into babies.

your lying nobody could ever believe anything that crazy


i used to think that when you shot a gun the whole bullet casing and everything came out

 

[Zarn]

When I was really young, I used to think all monarchies were absolute.

They really dumb down the American Revolution in both primary and secondary education. This case would be primary.

 

[Catharsis]

I thought that the NHS was the "N.A.Chess". Knew it was something to do with doctors but couldn't work out the connection to chess...

 

[azzaman333]

I used to think communism worked.

 

[Kennigit]

Mainly, I thought that things that my Dad exposed me to were universal, such as:

I thought that people in the navy/Star Trek characters were all named Ensign.

I thought that message on the computer always came with the Star Trek incoming message sound (dad has this on computer)

I thought everytime a computer was turned on, the X-Files music played (our computer set this way)

Tht Antarctica was the biggest continent (idk why)

Probably that Colonel Sanders was a Colonel.

That Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, leprechauns, etc were all fake, except the tooth fairy, which I was convinced was real because I saw her!

More that i'm forgetting.

 

[Yoda Power]

That Africa was a country (and I couldn't understand how Russia was bigger).

That Japan and China were equal in size.

That my parents actually believed those incredible "stories" I told them.

That people in old times were actually in black and white. I got a shock when my grandmother wasn't able to remember what year they shifted from black and white to colours. I was convinced people would be able to remember such a significant event. The shock was even bigger when she revealed to me that people had always been in colour, and that television was just less developed back them.

 

[warpus]

I thought that America was a paradise full of disney movies, billboards of naked women, coca-cola, legos, toys, and chocolate.

There is also a huge religious list that I'm not going to mention becuase it would likely offend a buncha Christians, and I'm not in the mood to offend right now.

 

[Munch]

I used to think that inanimate objects had feelings, and would worry for instance about whether my cutlery was happy with the way I was using it.

I used to think being a milkman was the ultimate job 'because it's easy'.

 

[Cato the Elder]

When people got old, their skin started looking more like nylons. This is because my grandmother always used to wear these partially transparent slightly-darker-than-skin-colour nylons, and I naturally assumed that the change in texture and colour was because of getting older.

Combining a career as professional singer and baker was perfectly possible, and I was going to do that, and there won't be any question about it.

Those above two were from when I was like, 4, 5 years old. This following one is from when I was about 10-ish.

People got pregnant by a simple touching of the genitals. Nothing else need be involved, just basically prodding them against one another once (no penetration or even erection necessary) and BAM, she was knocked up.