Married/Long Term Relationship people: How do you manage money/chores

[Birdjaguar]

Is that a new "Godwynn's law"?

 

[Timsup2nothin]

I want this on a T-shirt.

Do you plan to include a bullseye over your heart, or just intend to let them aim willy nilly?

 

[Borachio]

It is a truth universally recognized that the moment a woman's eye lights on a man her plan for reforming him has already begun.

Sometimes to the extent of letting him think he's in control.

 

[Hygro]

Do you plan to include a bullseye over your heart, or just intend to let them aim willy nilly?

Yeah all I'm reading is something about aiming willies at hearts

 

[downtown]

Same bank account, free spending as we each see fit, based on mutual trust built up over the past decade and a half of our relationship. We have a monthly budget (sort of), the general parameters of which we each agreed upon in the past and change via mutual agreement. I'm more proactive in the financial decision making department (e.g. what credit cards are the best, what cell phone plan is the best, what's the best internet deal, what's the best IRA account, how much should we save, etc.) so we wind up doing a lot of what I suggest, mostly because my wife just does not like doing that. If she did, I'd gladly hand the keys over to her for that stuff. She has a better idea of how much to save, she is very conservative about money, which is a great yin to my yang because I am more of a free spender.

We try to split house stuff--we alternate dinner cooking and kitchen cleaning, but my wife invariably ends up doing more because I am a horrible human being.

Recently our work schedules changed such that I am predominantly in charge of taking our kid to school and picking her up because my schedule recently became more flexible.

We have a very similar system. I usually end up taking the lead on contract type stuff/comparison shopping (partly out of interest, partly out of aptitude), and she handles the monthly budget and the day to day stuff.

We have a combined back account (and separate credit cards), and talk over just about every purchase of more than 40 bucks or so. It's been very rare that either of us have vetoed anything, but we will occasionally talk about it to give us time to find a better deal, or to check each other's impulses. We've also trying to save as much money as possible, so we can buy a house when we move out of this stupid city.

I work longer hours than my wife, so she ends up doing more of the cooking/cleaning than I do, but I still cook a fair amount, and the expectation goes that when my work schedule allows it, I do more stuff around the house.

Not exactly a 50-50 split on every level, but a pretty balanced/democratic one that works most of the time.

 

[Leonel]

It seems to be growing organically for my situation. My girlfriend asked me to clean the kitchen a few times which I did and she'd compliment my job and say she'd do a deep clean of the bathroom which she does. Now I've just been unconsciously cleaning the kitchen without prompt.

 

[JollyRoger]

I let my girlfriends divide up the chores in whatever way they see fit,

 

[Borachio]

After 10 years, they say, the dust doesn't get any deeper.

 

[Farm Boy]

That's a filthy lie.

 

[Borachio]

Is it?

It's something Quentin Crisp said.

Oh look at that: he died at 90.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quentin_Crisp

 

[Farm Boy]

Should it have been, "That's a filthy lay?"

 

[kiwitt]

25+ years of marriage.

All money is our money. Setup a fun account, and transferred a small portion to it each week, that can be spent on anything you like. Bought a $4,000 computer and a $1,000 smartphone with it, and also use it to support my gaming habit. Big decisions are always joint decisions.

My wife does most of the chores (including paying the bills) around the house, as bring I in the most money, while she works part-time if at all. My role is to take her to see her family as much as possible on weekends and I get my "man time" in my "man cave" most other days.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

After 10 years, they say, the dust doesn't get any deeper.

Those who live in the desert have no way to test this, as it takes much less than ten years for the house to be filled to the top.

 

[classical_hero]

I command, she obeys.

Come on, you are fooling yourself, since it's the other way around.

 

[LucyDuke]

Tell us all about your experience obeying the commands of women, classical_hero.

 

[Takhisis]

Is that a new "Godwynn's law"?

Godwynn's Rule, actually.

Tell us all about your experience obeying the commands of women, classical_hero.

It probably involves leather and whips.

 

[Farm Boy]

Is this one of those occasions it's inappropriate to request pics should they exist?

 

[Arwon]

Separate accounts, consider our money pooled for household expenses and we each contribute what we can for bills, rent, etc (roughly 2:1 ratio of my contribution to hers, in line with what we make. She'd pay more but I don't want her spending all her money on these expenses and having nothing left over).

I tend to do nearly all the cooking so she does most of the kitchen cleaning up. She works part time so feels comfortable doing more general housework, that'll change when she increases her hours.

She takes the lead when we buy groceries because she's better at frugality than me. I handle admin and paperwork where possible because that stuff stresses her out.

 

[Narz]

$1,000 smartphone with it

Wow, for $1000 it must be a geniusphone!

 

[Zelig]

Wow, for $1000 it must be a geniusphone!

Stuff's expensive in NZ, 16GB iphone is $1080, since no expandable storage you're realistically looking at $1250 for the 64GB model.