Narz the terrorist

[A'AbarachAmadan]

When I was in the Middle East we used to have a bomb scare every few days. It got very annoying and seemed like a waste of time for some idiots gym bag, etc....until they found a real one. Didn't bother me for a while and actually appreciated the extra security, then it got annoying again. Guess that is just human nature.

 

[Jawz II]

BasketCase The Terrorist

I'm at the airport, heading for my plane. Drop suitcase on conveyor belt, step through metal detector, make offhanded joke about bombs.

Security guard gives me a pained grin and points at a sign nearby, which states that security guards are required to take all comments about bombs seriously.

They knew I'd been just joking and hadn't seen the sign, so they let me go.

george carlin has some great stuff about airport security and bomb jokes

 

[Rambuchan]

Did your friend ever get his cushion back?

Yeah he got the cushion back.

That kidnapping story is a classic! I have another similar one about a friend shooting a short film in London about 10 years ago. He was also a bit of an idiot actually. He didn't really know what he was doing. He had to shoot a scene which saw a gangster - with a gun in hand - entering into a safe house. I mean the story required those shots.

Well the idiot had neither informed the police nor the local council's film office, so no one knew that these guys were using a deactivated gun. What a berk! So, it comes to setting up the shots - guess what? the director wants it shot from the POV of the other gangsters in the house - this means, no camera on the street, just a guy with a gun roaming the streets.

So you can guess what happens. They get the shots and while they are having lunch they notice some guy in a black cap in the garden - he's got a bloody big rifle trained on them through the window. WFT?! Then they see more of these guys outside the front window.

The armed police division (this the UK remember) had been called in and the whole street had been closed down. The house was surrounded by snipers and otherwise armed officers. I believe they came in and did a full search of the place, they even left a camera running to record it (although I never saw the tape). Of course the pigs soon realised what was going on and they got a full dressing down for wasting their time, resources and basically for being a complete idiot. Rightly so IMO.

 

[FredLC]

It's a crazy world indeed. Crazier still when I stop to think that the first thing that came to my mind was "well, the good part is that if everyone believes it is a bomb, nobody will steal your bag just because you forgot it".

Hmmm, Brazil needs to improve immensely, for sure.

Regards .

 

[A'AbarachAmadan]

It's a crazy world indeed. Crazier still when I stop to think that the first thing that came to my mind was "well, the good part is that if everyone believes it is a bomb, nobody will steal your bag just because you forgot it".

That is an absolutely awesome analysis!!

 

[Narz]

That is an absolutely awesome analysis!!

I agree!

Man, everyone's contributions are great! My story is quite unnewsworthy by comparison! Keep 'em coming (preferably all true).

 

[Bozo Erectus]

How many bags do people forget in the world any day? And how many of them turn out to be a bomb? I think you have more chances of being killed by a heart attack due to the paranoia

If the bank manager thought it was serious enough to evacuate the bank, doesnt make a whole lot of sense for him to then let somebody in to retrieve the bag, does it?

 

[cgannon64]

Recently, a Dutch TV-show tested the Rotterdam subway passengers. A rucksack was 'forgotten' and a secret camera whitnessed what other passengers did. Dozens of passengers clearly noticed the bag, but nobody did a thing.

But hey, did you hear that one of the would-be bombers in London was chased by a bunch of civilians?

People do things, sometimes.

 

[E-Raser]

This world is going more and more paranoid, isn't it?

 

[ComradeDavo]

Narz - thats a pretty funny story!

Everyone is so paranoid thse days. On monday I was at bus station and there was an anncoument 'has any one left a bag in the ticket ofice'. several people laughed

 

[Bozo Erectus]

Until a bomb actually goes off, everybody thinks that people in positions of responsibility who are concerned about it are being paranoid. When one finally goes off somewhere, they blame the very people who they were previously accusing of being paranoid

 

[stormbind]

Birmingham (Britain's second city) suffered a number of bomb scares. My brother emailed me saying he could not travel through the city one night because of the disruption and was forced to crash someplace.

Paranoia is rife.

 

[stormbind]

Until a bomb actually goes off, everybody thinks that people in positions of responsibility who are concerned about it are being paranoid. When one finally goes off somewhere, they blame the very people who they were previously accusing of being paranoid

I reported a bag once. It was a huge hold-all left unattended on a train in England. I asked people and it did not belong to anyone, so I went and told the guard.

Passengers did not care. The guard did not care. Nothing was done. The bag did not explode.

Sometime later I heard an Irish comic commenting on the scenario. People are just odd.

 

[Bozo Erectus]

I reported a bag once. It was a huge hold-all left unattended on a train in England. I asked people and it did not belong to anyone, so I went and told the guard.

Passengers did not care. The guard did not care. Nothing was done. The bag did not explode.

Im sure this was before July 7. If that happened today, people would start acting all 'paranoid' about it.

 

[EdwardTking]

Oh dear, Narz; you have given the bank a real challenge.

That is always very dangerous when dealing with money bores.

No doubt, they will have a competition to think of the most officious
heading for a brand new bank charge just to levy on your account.

Unauthorised Material Deposit $5,000
Unscheduled Interview $500 for each staff member

Just watch out for your next bank statement!!

Hopefully, you had a big overdraft, and can get your brother
to send in a run over by road roller death certificate for you.

 

[Lambert Simnel]

@Ram. Awfully long riff on the bag production bit. Was there, by any chance, meant to be some very light-handed satire hiding somewhere behind it ? I find it hard to tell...

P.S. Your friend is a dork - he ought to have apologised properly. You should try being on a tube train where someone has obviously left a bag behind - yes, we're all paranoid, and we all realise intellectually that we're more likely to get killed crossing the road as we come out of the tube station. But there is a very real, gut-wrenching fear which grabs you as you realise someone has just left a bag behind. And, trust me, there isn't anyone on the carriage who doesn't feel the same way.

 

[Rambuchan]

@ Lambert: Yes both the first and second 'friends' are dicks. I make no excuses for them. And yes there is a touch of satire in my spiel about the bags. I'm sure it was worth the effort though .