Nation Jokes

[sourboy]

A German guy goes to a bar & has a few drinks. After a while he nudges the guy next to him and says "hey, you want to hear a good Polack joke?"

The guy responds "I'm the Polish boxing champion, my buddy here is the Polish karate champion, and my other buddy here is the Polish wrestling champion. You still want to tell that joke?"

The German guy responds "No, I don't feel like telling it three times."

 

[Pirate]

To the same tune as above,

A speaker decided to open his speech with a polish joke, but it doesn't get the big laugh he was expecting.
So the speaker says, "Hmm, maybe that was a bad idea. How many of you folks here are Polish?"
About half the audience raises their hands.
The speaker then says "Oh, I see the problem. Let me repeat the joke a little slower..."

 

[LLXerxes]

What? I don't get it.

Korea does a good job at unfolding thier flag, while China does pathetic

 

[Dann]

@LLXerxes
Oh I see.

Your " " is wasted though. That's not my flag since I'm not a citizen here.

 

[BCLG100]

The Welshman went to the doctor because he thought he had a sexually transmitted disease, turned out he was just allergic to wool

 

[sourboy]

How do you get a Mexican off your doorstep?

Pay for the pizza.

 

[Pariah]

The Welshman went to the doctor because he thought he had a sexually transmitted disease, turned out he was just allergic to wool

How does a Welsh farmer know when his sheep's dead?

- The sex is the same, but the wool stops growing.

 

[FriendlyFire]

im gonna be collapsed and laughing for hours!!!!!!!!

stop killing me you are

 

[G-Man]

An American tourist was travelling in London, and decided to explore the city by himself. He travelled in the streets, entered a few local bars, etc. After a while he comes to a high class area, with fancy houses, but with no pubs, shops and - worst of all - no public restrooms. After he'd been drinking earlier, he was in quite a dire need of these.
Eventually he found a small alley between two houses and decided to go there. However, as he was just about to start, he heard a voice telling him "you know you can't do this here!". He turned around and saw it was a police officer.
"I'm really sorry, officer, but I can't find any public restrooms" says the American.
"Oh, yeah", Says the policeman, "follow me please".
They walk for a while, then they come across a big wall with a large decorated gate. The officer opens the gate and tells the American that he can go in there and do his business.
The Americans goes through the gate to find a beautiful garden with flowers, trees, lawns, fountains, etc. Thinking that the officer knew what he was saying, he relieved himself in the garden.
As he came out, he told the officer: "That was very kind of you. Is this what you call 'British hospitality'"?
"No", said the officer, "This is what we call 'the French embassy'"

 

[Rout]

G-man thats hilarious

 

[mitsho]

What's an intelligent man called in the U.S.?
Tourist

I've many others but no time to translate and I also don't feel like doing that now...

mfG mitsho

 

[punkbass2000]

A park ranger finds a wolf caught in a bear trap. He radioes back to HQ, "I've found a Newfie wolf caught in a bear trap."
"How do you know he's Newfie?", the other ranger radioes back.
"Well," the first ranger replies, "He's chewed off three of his legs and he's still stuck in the trap."


What's similar between sex in a boat and American beer?
They're both f*cking close to water.

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

Can I joke about fictional nations here?

 

[privatehudson]

It's not a joke as such, but I remember hearing a quote somewhere which went:

The sun never sets on the British Empire... Because God could never trust the British in the dark

 

[The Person]

How do you sink an Irish submarine? Knock on the door!

I know that one. I even know the extension:

How do you sink the same submarine again?
Knock on the door, and wait till they come out telling that they won't fall for that trick again.

 

[Atlas14]

Quote: Belgium produces more chocolate than anywhere else in the world.

Germany produces more beer than anywhere else in the world.

Columbia produces mroe coffee than anywhere else in the world.

Mexico produces more Americans than anywhere else in the world.




Hillarious and true, I love it.

 

[MaisseArsouye]

At the olympics, it's the final of hammer throw.

The first to come is the american. He's tall and very strong. It takes the hammer, turns, turns and throw it away. He beats the world record and everybody applauses.

The second one is the russian. He's yet taller and stronger than the american. He takes the hammer, throw it and beats the new records. The stadium goes crazy !!

The last athlete is the italian. He's small and very thin. He takes the hammer, throw it away, and he beats the world record !!!! After the podium, a journalist ask him "you're so small, so thin and you beated the american and russian champions. What's your secret ?". The italian answers :"it's simple, a hammer is a working tool. And I want every working tools as far as possible from me".

 

[Paradigne]

A Canadian asked in American what we think of their nation. The American thought about it a moment and said: you know, we really don't think that much about your country, but we are after all Americans, and we are very wasteful and will soon use up all of our natural resources... THEN we will think of Canada...

 

[Gogf]

Sorry if this has been posted before, but I like it.

A Mexican, a Canadian and an American are on a boat togeather. They all decide to through something they have too much of in their county overboard. The Mexican throughs a cirgarrette over. The Canadian throughs a maple leaf over. The American throughs the Mexican over.

 

[Gogf]

Korea does a good job at unfolding thier flag, while China does pathetic

Um, that's not exactly funny. It's more, "Ha! You messed up on your flag !"

a german a Dutchman and A belgian are in a swimming pool.
then there comes this faerie she says: you may have one wish:
So the Dutch man says:I want the entire pool with wine
So it happens The Dutchman drinks and drinks and gets home drunk
Same with the Belgian but then with beer
And the German wants to be spectacular : he runs to the pool but suddenly he slips out falling on the ground into the pool scraming:SCHEISSE!!!!!!!!!!!

IIRC "SCHEISSE" means, um, feces in German, correct?