need girl advice

[ew0054]

How do you tell a girl that you're not really into her? I have evaluated the situation and have come to the conclusion that I have the following choices:

A.) Be strightforward and upfront. "I'm not attracted to you, so let's get on with our lives." That would be rude, hurtful, and mean. I certainly don't want to do that.

B.) "It's not you it's me..." and give some excuse as to why it couldn't work out. "My parents say I can't date a democrat."

C.) "Let's just be friends." Probably a more polite letdown than option A.

D.) Of course I could just let her catch me en femme and let her figure out the rest.

Which do you think is best? Any ideas?

 

[Ansar]

I said to this girl in 5th grade, (not knowing what i was saying), "im not ready for it".

 

[RoboPig]

B.) "My parents say I can't date a democrat."

noone will beleive you since democrats are so much cooler. just ignore her and exchange friendly comments. the situation wont go out of control

 

[Harbringer]

Make her not like you,talk about something very uninteresting....

 

[cegman]

Lets just be friends.

 

[ew0054]

Well lets see we could discuss things like the substrate of a MOSFET, but she's into science and might like it. So that won't work. We could discuss various styles of clothes and makeup, to scare her off, but that probably won't work because girls like talking about that stuff too much to resist. We could talk about receipes for things like the bananna bread I baked last night... girls usually like cooking and stuff so that won't work. Come to think of it, we might actually have stuff in common and it won't be so bad. But of course, there's the physical attraction part and I just don't have it for her. She's a nice person and all but I would really much rather be friends. So I guess I'll stick with that plan. If that doesn't work, so be it. The worst that could possible happen is a rejection from her, which in actuality, would be what I'm going for. But I shouldn't have MY ego crushed!

 

[Sophie 378]

Tell her she's your best female friend? Ask her for girl advice on a different girl? :shrug: C sounds safest, but you may want to do it more subtly. Are you 100% sure she's coming onto you? Some people just act flirty inadvertently, or without meaning anything by it.

 

[ew0054]

She always brushes up against me. And the workbench is pretty big so they're plenty of room. She has asked for my email, AIM name, and phone number, all of which I refused to divulge. I told her I don't give out personal information (which I don't, to anybody).

Ah well there's no good in spending my whole 4-day weekend worring about it. I don't see her until tuesday anyway. I'm gonna put this to rest and clear my mind. It's not like I could do anything about the situation any sooner anyway.

But to answer your question, no I am not 100% sure. So I'll just wait it out and see what happens. There are like 4 weeks only left in the semester. After that, it'll be over. Just like in the past, rarely do I ever meet up with people again.

 

[Moss]

Whatever happened to honesty?

Seriously...just keep being nice to her...because I'm sure you like her on some level...but just let her know you're not interested...and how do you know she's interested in the first place? If she asks you out or makes a move, just turn her down...other than that...just keep being yourself.

It's not really that big of a thing that you need to go and tell her that you're not interested...she'll figure it out on her own if she's brave enough to make an advance...otherwise it's best to assume that she just wants to be your friend.

Whatever you do, don't lie about it...that's childish...and well, just wrong.

 

[bhsup]

Wow. I guess I'm the only one that would go with the first option. The truth might hurt her a bit at first, but it's best in the long run.

EDIT: DOH! Moss, right above me, said the same thing.

 

[Ren]

You're right, A is a bit insensitive. Since she doesn't even have your email address, I think it's fair to assume you're not together yet, so that really rules B out (would sound strange - that one's more a break up line than a rejection line). C sounds fair but essentially says to her the same thing as (the first part of) A. D? Sure, if that's what you're into .

I'd like to suggest getting another chick, but that'll probably make her want you even more. Maybe try getting with one of her friends

 

[ew0054]

Yeah I'm just gonna take it easy for now. Thanks for the help!

 

[Syterion]

email, AIM name, and phone number, all of which I refused to divulge. I told her I don't give out personal information (which I don't, to anybody).

What is the point of having said communication options if no one can access you from them? I don't see the harm in a friend IMing you once in a while. Or Emails. I like emails.

 

[ew0054]

What is the point of having said communication options if no one can access you from them? I don't see the harm in a friend IMing you once in a while. Or Emails. I like emails.

I have AIM set to accept messages only from people on my buddy list. I was getting harassed by bots and random chatters otherwise.

Email for things like eBay and stuff. But I have changed it so many times because as soon as I give it out I find myself on all these junk/chain lists. So I just use the email for signing up for things like this fine forum and eBay transactions, etc. Mainly, one-time things.

Telephone line is for internet access and outgoing calls mainly. Cell phone for emergency outgoing only (I pay 75¢ a minute so I can't be BS-ing on it!).

I hope that answers that!

 

[Kyriakos]

If you want to be friends then it wouldnt be so difficult to tell her that.
And you are 20. Unless she is very ugly i would think that you would have something to gain from a relationship, even a strictly friendly one, although the girl may not be interested in a friendly relationship at all. Keep in mind that girls are not different as far as sex goes: some want very casual relationships, and dont really care about you as a person, nor plan to care.

 

[Oerdin]

Be a man and tell her you just want to be friends.

 

[Gr3yL3gion]

Play with her. It sounds fun.

 

[Riesstiu IV]

Suprise her and scream in her face with an insane look in your eyes. That always wins them over.

 

[IglooDame]

I'd say option D, though who knows, even that might not dissuade her.

 

[Kozmos]

Suprise her and scream in her face with an insane look in your eyes. That always wins them over.

I can guarantee 100% success on this one.