New Random Events (Funny Ones)

[DroopyTofu]

Title is self-explanatory. I look forward to what CFC's great sarcastic minds can come up with.

MY CONTRIBUTION.
Event:
_ Your nation is suffering from obesity. Millions of people are overweight. It is beleived to be the new Fast Food industry's fault, mainly the biggest one, McDonalds!!!
Options:
_ Ignore it; it is the citizens responsibility to keep their weight under control(-26% production in all cities, chance problem may continue)
_ Kill all overweight people, that will stop the problem, and drag McDonald's CEO off in chains!(All cities lose 1/2 of population, cost 100 , 1 in all cities for 20 turns)
_ Begin government funded weight loss programs, and pay off McDonald's CEO to close business, plus encourage other businesses to serve healthy food. (Cost 500 , Permantitly ends crisis.)
Prerequisite:
_ Modern Era
Obsoleted By:
_ Not Obsoleted
Percent Chance of Happening
_ 81%

 

[Dumanios]

Computer Company
a Company selling computers has been getting rich off there sales.What do you think of this?
1:Let the Company sell there computers.(+1 in all cities)
2:Let's get in on there sales and make a deal.(-500 ,+2 gold per city per turn)
3:The only that can be rich is me!(+1 in all cities,+ 1,000 )
Requires you to have computers

 

[helemaalnicks]

not an event, corporation.

cigarette company, can be founded by great merchant.

+5

+3

-4

still
+3

for all enemy cities though, and for your own wall street. Hope it doesn't naturally spread to your own cities.

 

[Woodreaux]

Prohibition Era (requires Representation or Universal Suffrage).
The legislature of your civilization has enacted a prohibition in vice.

• Allow it to pass. +2 -10% -5 per city for 10 turns.
• Veto the legislature: 1/3 to 1/5 cities have unrest (may happen again in 3-4 turns).
• Disband the legislature. 1 Turn Anarchy.

 

[tulanehockey]

Requirements:
Manhattan Project
Rocketry
Nuclear Non-Proliferation (PASSED)

Chemical Weapons:

Your scientists have created nerve gas!

- Resume production of our ICBMS and tactical missiles with our new weaponry! -2 all leaders, +15 in all cities used on.


- Destroy these vials, they are pure evil! +2 all cities for 10 turns

- There could be a medical use for this! +1 all own cities, +50% chance another civ weaponizes the medicine.

 

[I-imp]

Your population are complaining about the food source!
Everything they eat is bread. Even the animals are made of bread!
They demand new foods!

- Dye the current food stores green to fool the populace into thinking they won't have anything to eat. +2 in the city for 10 turns.

- Convince the populace that they have the best kind of food in the world. +2 for 10 turns

- Let them starve! +15 , -50%

 

[tulanehockey]

Time Machine!

One of your scientists has invented a time machine!

- Go forward in time and learn the future! +2:unhappiness: all leaders, +10,000 gold

- Go backward and retrive your deceased Great General! (Receive GG)



- Destroy this machine, it could destroy the world!

 

[Antilogic]

Wow, is there any choice on that last one?

Is the text just supposed to be funny and we have "kind of, sort of" balanced options, or is it all crazy?

EDIT: Crossposted. I was referring to I-imp's event.

 

[DroopyTofu]

CHUCK NORRIS has declared war on you.

1. Accept your defeat like a man, and let CHUCK NORRIS have your empire. Automatically lose, but with respect
2. Who cares about CHUCK NORRIS. Ignore. Automatically lose, Get killed in you sleep by CHUCK NORRIS tonight.
3. Fight him. Automatically lose, get publicly humiliated, CHUCK NORRIS still kills you in your sleep.+


EDIT: @Antilogic, saw your post after posting. Does this ^ answer you question?

 

[helemaalnicks]

Industrial modern Era. Prequisites: Economics, wall street.

Obsoletes with future tech 1.

Stock exchange crashes! This leads to massunemployment. +5 in every city. You can try saving the situation, or let it go on.

- Close down the index. Wall street has no affect for 5 turns. Crash could continue (30% chance)
- Save the banks with the federal reserves. Pay 100

and you are safe again
- Do nothing. Crash can continue (90% chance).

 

[I-imp]

Of course its all crazy! To me, Funny is crazy.

Or just a time killer.


Your president is assasinated. The perpetrator is a scientist from a rival country and is willing to release technology for his freedom. The public demands an execution

- Release him. 5 in capital for 15 turns. Spend 200 . Choose technology of neighbor.

- Execute him. The public demands justice. 5 in all cities for 15 turns.

- Are you sure we have a president? Because I thought we were running Ploice State. And if we are not, I thought I was the president

 

[Antilogic]

Uh...they are ransoming his dead body?

I was going to do a Wall Street event! Now I'd just look like a copy cat.

 

[toll_booth]

Suicide Booths
(Requires Laser)

Scientists have developed technology that allows people to instantly and painlessly finish themselves off! Should we implement this technology?

-Yes, let them have their suicide booths! (+1 in all cities for 10 turns, -2 pop. in 5 largest cities)
-No, but use the technology for weaponry. (Military units produced in the next 10 turns gain +2 XP)
-No, this could be a trick by an enemy nation. Keep an eye out for future developments like this. (+10% in all cities for 10 turns)

==========

Gladiator Tournaments
(Requires at least one Coliseum)
(Obsolete with Liberalism)

The gladiators want to have a tournament, with the winner being given freedom! Should we have one?

-Yes, let the games begin! (+1 in all cities with Coliseum for 10 turns)
-No, send them back to the fields. The gladiators are more useful alive. (Sacrificing with slavery produces +50% for 10 turns)

==========

Terrorist Strike
(Requires Gunpowder)

Three people have come to you in secret and offered to blow themselves up on the crowded streets of (insert foreign city here). Should we let them?

-Yes, and pay their organization in exchange for doing further damage. (-100 ; the building that you select in (city) is destroyed; suffer between -2 to -4 relations hit with (country that the city is in))
-Yes, but dismiss them without tribute or giving information. (One building in (city) is randomly destroyed; suffer -1 relations hit with (country that the city is in))
-No, arrest them on the spot and reveal their plot to (country that the city is in). (-50 ; gain +1 or +2 relations with (country))

==========

Religious Disagreement
(Requires at least two in one city)
(Increased likelihood when #1 is the state )
(Zero likelihood with Free Religion)
(Can only occur when building a building of #2)

The people of religion: #1) are upset over the rise of religion: #2)! Should we give in to their demands?

-Yes; they are the true religion. ((Religious building under construction) is destroyed.)
-No; they have just as much right to their faith as religion: #2) does. (+2 in this city for 10 turns)

 

[Yorgi]

New Quest: Unsanitary Conditions

Pre-Req: Mathematics
Obsolete: Biology OR Chemistry

Description: Your people complain that there's too much human waste in their drinking water supplies. It causes disease and shortens lifespans. Plus the water tastes like crap (literally). Build a series of Aqueducts.

Aim: Build default number of players for this world size Aqueducts/Hammams/Barays (7 Standard)

Result:
1. All cities gain +2 health - "Your civil engineers have invented the flush toilet. Sanitary engineering advances empire-wide."
2. All Aqueducts/Hammams/Barays gain +1 happiness - "Your citizens rejoice that they can now drink clean water and not have to worry whether it's their next door neighbor's Mexican dinner from last night with a side of dysentery."

 

[Matthew5117]

Deadly Virus
(Requires the Wheel?)
(Obsolete with Medicine)

(a random city of yours that has a pop of 10+) has been struck with a deadly virus!

- Let the citizens deal it with themselves. -25% of the pop in all Cities (including rivals), +5
- Kill all the citizens with the deadly virus! -25% of the pop, -500 (requires 500 gold)
- Use them as Bioweapons! Sanction them in (foreign city)! -4 diplomacy with leader, -75% of pop of foreign city, -500 (requires 500 gold)

Chance of Happening: .5% per turn

==========

Blackout!
(Requires Electricity and Assembly Line)

All of (random civilization) cities have lost access to electricity!

- Help them immediately! +3 diplomacy with leader, no power in 50% of cities (requires factories providing power in your cities)
- Take this as a chance to destroy them! Launch 3 ICBMs on 3 largest cities without knowing nationality (requires fission and 3 ICBMs)

Chance of Happening: 0.5%

==========

Bonuses given with Bailout!
(Requires Corporation)

Sid Sushi's has given its executives bonuses with our money we provided with our bailout!

- CRUSH this company! Sid Sushi's is evicted from all of your cities, +5 in all cities, -500 (requires 500 gold)
- Threaten Sid Sushi's to take back bonuses. -2 in all cities

Chance of Happening: 0.5%

 

[Planoneck]

Armageddon

Requires: Satellites, Apollo Program, Manhattan Project, at least two observatories

Your scientists have discovered an immense asteroid hurtling toward the planet at great speed. What are you willing to do to ensure mankind's survival?

- Share the discovery with other nations, and let the more advanced ones deal with it. (+2 relations with all leaders, +2 in all cities, 50% chance of a random civilization being destroyed)
- Send a rocket to the asteroid and detonate nuclear bombs beneath its surface. (-1000 , +25% spaceship production, 15% chance of a random civilization being destroyed)
- Make a big budget disaster film with multiple scientific inaccuracies. (+200 , +5 hit movies, 100% chance of Aerosmith)

 

[UWHabs]

One of the above made me think of this:

Soylent Green
prereq: Genetics, biology, one of the food corps
You have discovered a new source of food!
-Distribute it to the masses (-1 pop per city, +1 for 10 turns, +5 food (per turn) per city with food corp)
-Eating people is wrong! (+1 per city for 10 turns)

Then, if you take option 1, there's the chance for,

People have discovered the terrible secret. Soylent Green is... people!
-Stop selling it (remove bonus from before, +1 per city, +2 for 10 turns)
-Expand the food source! (-1 pop per city, +1 for 10 turns, +5 food (per turn) per city)


Or other events:
Luke, I am your father!
prereq: war with foreign country, mass media, control hit movies
A sinister leader from [country at war with] is claiming to be your father
-Believe him (automatic peace treaty, +5 relations boost with foreign country)
-NOOOOO! (continues war, +1 in all cities for 10 turns since you ruined the ending of a great movie)

 

[micbic]

Escape!!!

An infamous criminal has escaped from the Jail of your capital using a helicopter!!! (actually, that event HAPPENED in Greece). What should we do?

-Kill him. Recruit Chuck Norris if necessary. Then make a tribute movie for him (100 gold subtracted, 1 hit movie in capital)
-Sack everybody and revamp the whole system, though it may take time (ensurance that the event will not take place again- Jails do not work for 10 turns)
-Let him free. He only robs the rich and the banks, not the people mass. ( +2 happiness, all corporations get shut, bank produce only +20%

Prereqs: Fascism, Mass Media
Obsoletes: Never
Chance: 0.5% per turn

 

[say1988]

Alien Incursion:
Requirements: Archery, Bronzeworking
A group of strange being arrived demanded to be taken to our leader:
-Ignore them: 25% chance they go away, 50% chance they go to another civ, 25% they respond with force ((standard # of civs)/2 Alien Scouts (12 str) appear on your borders, not barbarian, Great Wall does not work)
-Respond with force: 5% chance they retreat, 95% chance standard # of civs Alien Scouts (12 str) spawn
-Invite them to your capital: 25% the want to help your people and grant a technology of your choice, 25% they want to help humanity and grant all civs 2 technologies of your choice (if they already have it, tough luck, if they lack pre-reqs they just get the give tech), 50% they are hostile and your people fight them off after they destroy the govenment -3 pop capital +1 draftable units in each city +20 for 20 turns in all cities 1 turn anarchy and (standard # civs)/2 Alien Scouts (Str 12) spawn on your borAlien Raid
Requires gunpowder and a strategic or animal resource
We have heard reports of strange taking our (resource)
• They are too powerful, we must hide. Ignore them: 90% chance the resource disappears in 5 turns
• We must get them to join us. Send senior government officials to negotiate.
o 50% chance: They are hostile, enter 2 turns of anarchy as people panic over the beings, resource disappears.
o 25% chance: We have convinced them to get the resource elsewhere, a foreign civ will get the event next turn
o 25% chance: They see our need and will leave Earth alone, no chance of further Alien arrivals
• The thieves must be eliminated, send the army
o 10% chance: They saw our army and ran!!!, +3 permanent in all cities
o 90% chance: Alien armies are resisting, 2*(normal number of civs) Alien Warriors (str 20) spawn

Alien Attack
Requires railroad
Strange cylinders are falling from the sky, people are panicking!! WHAT DO WE DO?????!!!!!
• Rally the people, we must fight back!
o 80% chance: +2 draftable units appear in all cities, all cities -2 pop, +2 [cities size 2 and under: no effect]. 2*(normal number of civs) Alien Warriors (str 20), 5 Alien Walkers (str 30), 1 Alien Attack Ship (str 20, acts as fighter, based on square the army appears on), appear in your empire
o 20% chance: they see we are serious and are retreating
• We are doomed if they attack, we must beg for mercy:
o 50% chance: +5 for 20 turns all cities, 2*(normal number of civs) Alien Warriors (str 20), 5 Alien Walkers (str 30), 1 Alien Attack Ship (str 20, acts as fighter, based on square the army appears on), appear in your empire
o 50% chance: the see we are intelligent and will go elsewhere, 2*(normal number of civs) Alien Warriors (str 20), 5 Alien Walkers (str 30), 1 Alien Attack Ship (str 20, acts as fighter, based on square the army appears on), appear in a random foreign empire.
• We must get aid from others!
o 50% chance: The peoples of the world are uniting for our cause, armies are on their way ,all civs 20 turns peace treaty with all others, 5*(normal number of civs) military units randomly destroyed around the word
o 50% chance: The world has abandoned us, 2*(normal number of civs) Alien Warriors (str 20), 5 Alien Walkers (str 30), 1 Alien Attack Ship (str 20, acts as fighter, based on square the army appears on), appear in your empire


Alien invasion
Requires: computers at least 4 living current groups exis (i.e. vassals don’t count, PA/teams count as one)
Aliens are appearing everywhere, we must unite for this battle [occurs for all civs the same turn]
• Unite the world: if three quarters of civs choose this peace declared for 50 turns, 1 draftable unit spawns in all cities. Significant Alien armies appear in all civs, at least one unit in the BFC of all cities over size 4
• We shall fight by ourselves: if over one quarter of civs choose this, Significant Alien armies appear in all civs, at least one unit in the BFC of all cities over size 4
Alien armies will have a reasonable chance of wiping out all civs.

Alien abductions
Industrialism, Cows
Crazy old coots are saying their cows are being abducted by Aliens
• “Covering” it up will boost tourism in nearby cities (tile +3 commerce), 10% chance of +1 permanently due to fears of Aliens, -250 gold.
• Actually cover it up -500gold
• Haha, who cares about crazy old coots. Nothing happens.

 

[Antilogic]

Loose Morals

"Cranky old people in our society are disappointed in the lewd rap music and culture of those dang whippersnappers."

Requires: must be running the Free Speech civic, must have discovered Mass Media, requires Rock and Roll or Hollywood in the city

1. It's the sound of the future. (All cities receive 1 temp. , all broadcast towers receive +1 )