KingArthur
Searching for the Holy Grail
1830
Gorbad was in a really bad mood (again). Hadnt he taught that overgrown pixie Arial who was the big bad Warboss in these parts. But no, here she was strutting about and moaning that orcs were scuttling about her dark woods like so many crab-lice. Gorbad could take this insult because he knew the weakling Elves could do nothing about it. However, what made him mad was the fact that the Wood Elves had rebounded surprisingly well after their defeat. They had built up a small but fully functioning kingdom (or should that be queendom?) and even had access to wood, horses (more Elf Riders, yach, they just gave you stomach ache) and large deposits of the mineral Gromril. With time they might gain some technological advancement that would make them a threat again. Gorbad decided he would send his shiny, new black orc infantry to pay Arial a visit. This time he would burn all her woods (a tried and tested orc method for ridding one of crab lice). Arial wouldnt even be left with a single treehouse in the wasteland that Gorbad would create. Gorbad let himself be happy for a moment.
1860
An arena is built in Karag Oran making the masses well whoopy. Blood Bowl replaces Snotling Ball as the new national sport.
1905
Golden Age of Orcs ends. Gorbad deflects any attention to this by starting a new war against the Wood Elves. No-war is declared on the Slann with not a single croak from a Slann enemy unit (pity, Gocook had heard they taste like chicken).
1920
We hear news that fanatics have started joining the Arabyans Holy War (Great Wonder).
1930
Black orc infantry rip through the Wood Elf Lands with minor losses. The war produces a great leader: Urk Grimfang who takes over command of the first orc army.
1970
Feudalism and Alchemy are extorted from the Wood Elves in exchange for no-war. The Elves are left with a single city on the western edge of the continent. The captured Elf towns are renamed: Yaskinforit, Grimfangs Den, Bloody Keep and Gutrot.
1980
Grimfangs army applies the finishing touch to the Wood Elves. Arial rather than be taken alive is last seen jumping off the cliffs flapping her itty-bitty wings in vain. The captured city is renamed Skinnys Dip.
2000
The millennium bug strikes Karag Oran (not the one caused by our shamans habit of marking the year using only the last 2 digits but the one where you go black and die- oh yeah, the Black Death, thats it). Googbag starts spouting off incomprehensibly about his theory of population-dynamics. Gorbad our Deadly Wise Boss suggests that what we need is a new war to keep everyone happy and those that arent can be dead.
2010
To celebrate victory of Grimfangs Army an Epic of Heroic proportions is built, a Heroic Epic no less. Grimfang is made Gorbads Underboss and military advisor (someones got to take the blame when things go wrong in the upcoming war). Grimfangs Den is in the heart of the old Wood Elf lands where he enjoys hunting surviving wood elves in the smoking woods.
We finds out where the Gobbos live. Dorks gobbo tribe live north of the lands of Chaos out of our reach for now. Our sneaky-gits (spies) report that their forces are about the same size as ours but they are more advanced than us.
Gorbad starts hiring scantily-clad Ogre mercenaries for the war.
2030
Crudd the Ogre makes an attempt on the world Snort-a-Snot record. This involves attempting to inhale (and swallow) as many snotlings as possible in 10 minutes. The current record stands at 7. Crudds attempt is going well but his 7th snot accidentally goes down the wrong way and Crudd chokes to death.
War Academy built in Karag Oran and soon after a General is taught all the latest ways to inflict maximum mayhem on the battlefield.
2100
Ogre mercenaries make up the bulk of General Zogoffs army. Zogoff is sent to the eastern border with Araby. Grimfang moves his forces to Yaskinforit.
The military force assembled at the border consist of 36 Black Orc infantry; 9 Wolf Riders; 5 Wolf Chariots; 12 Ogre mercenaries and 6 "feersum enjuns" (Fire catapults). 10 Death Gallies are sent to Skinnys Dip to blockade and stop any counter-invasion force that might come by sea.
2130
War plans are upset when Araby signs a MPP with the Redeye Goblins. A deal broker is sent to Archaon to try to sign a MPP hoping that he is bothered by the fact that his land borders both Araby and the Redeyes. Despite his uncomfortable position Archaon bluffs it out and a deal comes at a terrible price: our one source of spices. A deal is made and war is declared on Araby.
Gorbad was in a really bad mood (again). Hadnt he taught that overgrown pixie Arial who was the big bad Warboss in these parts. But no, here she was strutting about and moaning that orcs were scuttling about her dark woods like so many crab-lice. Gorbad could take this insult because he knew the weakling Elves could do nothing about it. However, what made him mad was the fact that the Wood Elves had rebounded surprisingly well after their defeat. They had built up a small but fully functioning kingdom (or should that be queendom?) and even had access to wood, horses (more Elf Riders, yach, they just gave you stomach ache) and large deposits of the mineral Gromril. With time they might gain some technological advancement that would make them a threat again. Gorbad decided he would send his shiny, new black orc infantry to pay Arial a visit. This time he would burn all her woods (a tried and tested orc method for ridding one of crab lice). Arial wouldnt even be left with a single treehouse in the wasteland that Gorbad would create. Gorbad let himself be happy for a moment.
1860
An arena is built in Karag Oran making the masses well whoopy. Blood Bowl replaces Snotling Ball as the new national sport.
1905
Golden Age of Orcs ends. Gorbad deflects any attention to this by starting a new war against the Wood Elves. No-war is declared on the Slann with not a single croak from a Slann enemy unit (pity, Gocook had heard they taste like chicken).
1920
We hear news that fanatics have started joining the Arabyans Holy War (Great Wonder).
1930
Black orc infantry rip through the Wood Elf Lands with minor losses. The war produces a great leader: Urk Grimfang who takes over command of the first orc army.
1970
Feudalism and Alchemy are extorted from the Wood Elves in exchange for no-war. The Elves are left with a single city on the western edge of the continent. The captured Elf towns are renamed: Yaskinforit, Grimfangs Den, Bloody Keep and Gutrot.
1980
Grimfangs army applies the finishing touch to the Wood Elves. Arial rather than be taken alive is last seen jumping off the cliffs flapping her itty-bitty wings in vain. The captured city is renamed Skinnys Dip.
2000
The millennium bug strikes Karag Oran (not the one caused by our shamans habit of marking the year using only the last 2 digits but the one where you go black and die- oh yeah, the Black Death, thats it). Googbag starts spouting off incomprehensibly about his theory of population-dynamics. Gorbad our Deadly Wise Boss suggests that what we need is a new war to keep everyone happy and those that arent can be dead.
2010
To celebrate victory of Grimfangs Army an Epic of Heroic proportions is built, a Heroic Epic no less. Grimfang is made Gorbads Underboss and military advisor (someones got to take the blame when things go wrong in the upcoming war). Grimfangs Den is in the heart of the old Wood Elf lands where he enjoys hunting surviving wood elves in the smoking woods.
We finds out where the Gobbos live. Dorks gobbo tribe live north of the lands of Chaos out of our reach for now. Our sneaky-gits (spies) report that their forces are about the same size as ours but they are more advanced than us.
Gorbad starts hiring scantily-clad Ogre mercenaries for the war.
2030
Crudd the Ogre makes an attempt on the world Snort-a-Snot record. This involves attempting to inhale (and swallow) as many snotlings as possible in 10 minutes. The current record stands at 7. Crudds attempt is going well but his 7th snot accidentally goes down the wrong way and Crudd chokes to death.
War Academy built in Karag Oran and soon after a General is taught all the latest ways to inflict maximum mayhem on the battlefield.
2100
Ogre mercenaries make up the bulk of General Zogoffs army. Zogoff is sent to the eastern border with Araby. Grimfang moves his forces to Yaskinforit.
The military force assembled at the border consist of 36 Black Orc infantry; 9 Wolf Riders; 5 Wolf Chariots; 12 Ogre mercenaries and 6 "feersum enjuns" (Fire catapults). 10 Death Gallies are sent to Skinnys Dip to blockade and stop any counter-invasion force that might come by sea.
2130
War plans are upset when Araby signs a MPP with the Redeye Goblins. A deal broker is sent to Archaon to try to sign a MPP hoping that he is bothered by the fact that his land borders both Araby and the Redeyes. Despite his uncomfortable position Archaon bluffs it out and a deal comes at a terrible price: our one source of spices. A deal is made and war is declared on Araby.
