Pile of Cobblers, an English EU3 AAR

[Captain2]

Ye Olde BBC

Henry Morris: welcome back... I'm Henry Morris and our top breaking story this hour is a planned invasion of the Aztecs, we go live to John Martin in the field

John: you don't have to be so dramatic, your standing about five feet from me

Henry: quiet down, do you want to get us fired?

John: alright fine, today the King has announced a further 14,000 troops to be sent to North America to help with the yet to be declared invasion, the Governor Nuclear had this to say....

Nuclear: what did I have to say? you didn't tell me to say anything, you just knocked on my door and yelled at me to come outside

John: just give us your opinion....

Nuclear: why? who are you?

John: we're with the BBC

Nuclear: what the hell is a BBC? all I see is two people standing on my lawn having a discussion

Henry: we report news....

Nuclear: to who?

John: The public

Nuclear: but you don't even have any paper with you.... there is no possible way for you to record this

John: this interview is over....

*nuclear walks back into his mansion*

Henry: I hope he doesn't get re-elected.....

 

[IronMan2055]

@ princescamp, the simpson's movie, and I wrote a full spiderpig rewrite of the song before the movies release.

 

[Maniacal]

@ princescamp, the simpson's movie, and I wrote a full spiderpig rewrite of the song before the movies release.

Do you have a link?

 

[Captain2]

1620

The Invasion of the Aztecs went exactly as planned, the enemy fell quickly and without any real resistance, within a year they were wiped out completely

the current border in BNA

 

[Maniacal]

Eliminate the Zapotec sooner or later.

However, now is the time to attack Persia again!

 

[Junglecutter]

We can attack Persia much later, I suggest we start the westward expantion. It's our Manifest Destiny!

 

[IronMan2055]

Do you have a link?

it's a word document, I could send it to you, if you like.

 

[Maniacal]

it's a word document, I could send it to you, if you like.

Can you send it in a PM? (Like copy and paste)

 

[Maniacal]

We can attack Persia much later, I suggest we start the westward expantion. It's our Manifest Destiny!

There's nothing but colonisation to do in that expansion (which I whole heatedly support, we need British Columbia!). We must clear away more Persians to invade India!

 

[nodikus]

I say we finish occupying NA than turn on the persians.

 

[Maniacal]

It won't take mroe than a few troops, if any, to occupy the rest of North America. It's all colonisation! Plus we only have, what, another 100 years? We need to get the Persian's out of our way so we can invade India!

 

[Swein Forkbeard]

right now Mexico is leading in the poll... I'll allow more opinions since I'll be out for the night

@e350, no problems... always glad to see Brit-ish pride

@Swein, your in charge of a division right now in Ireland preventing the damn locals from complaining about the 150% tax rate, however you may request to be transfered

May I be governor of Mexico? Or a general in the New World?

 

[Nuka-sama]

Wohoo! Look at my domain!

Hey captain, 2 things: Am I elected? That would be unacceptable. And 2, I need more hounds for the palace. How on earth did the BBC get here?

 

[Captain2]

no your not elected, the whole joke I was running with was the BBC people were way ahead of their time, talking about a station that doesnt exist, using modern reporting techniques despite a lack of camera and talking about elections that dont exist for another 100 years at least

btw, The Brotherhood is still waiting for a PM answer

 

[Nuka-sama]

Oh, sorry, I had other important PMS to attend to

 

[Nuka-sama]

May I be governor of Mexico? Or a general in the New World?

Govener? No. I am the only govener west of England. You can be a general, but the New world is under my thumb (And captians..)

 

[Captain2]

The World is under my thumb, forget new

 

[Maniacal]

Captain. There's still the issue of an UPDATE on my GLORIOUS VICTORIES and CONQUESTS of PERSIA.

And then those of India.

 

[Swein Forkbeard]

Govener? No. I am the only govener west of England. You can be a general, but the New world is under my thumb (And captians..)

May I assist Princescamp then?

 

[Captain2]

alright, heres a short update

The Blue marks show the offensives into Persia, Swein's forces were the furthest south while Sparrow commanded the farthest North

however, we didn't get very far into the war when we were attack by Swahili who decided that now was the time to focus on us

so we've had to take a token surrender from the Persians to focus on Swahili, who by themselves have large enough numbers to require the entire British garrison to focus on them

before this we had indicators of Swahili aggression via black ops against our Egyptian colony, trying to raise dissent and trying to turn our subjects against our merchants, however since they started this war it most likely warrants crippling their abilities to wage war