Pile of Cobblers, an English EU3 AAR

great now I want shepards pie, trade you a watermelon for one.
 
@Ironman: I wouldn't want to ask someone to do something I'm too lazy to do myself, however feel free to keep posting your pictures since it appears you've hacked my brain :p

March 5, 1622
Governor's Palace, Egypt

Captain Koster:"Governor! we've finally rallied enough troops to attack the rebel bas..... wait what are you doing?"

Scamp:"I'm trying to make armour out of fish"

Koster:"...should I ask?"

Scamp:" the scales shall slow the bullets and the added body mass of the fish shall further shield me! its simple math Captain!"

Koster: "yes sir... anyway, we're ready to try and rescue General Sparrow from the rebel forces"

Scamp: "excellent... send in everything we have, this shall end today!"

Koster: "what if they attack cairo?"

Scamp:" oh right.... defend Cairo, everything else should attack"

Koster:*Salutes* "I'll go prepare the men for a march sir"

Scamp:" wait!"

Koster:" sir?"

Scamp:"here, I made you a fish armour of your own, wear it proudly"

Koster:".........Yes sir"
 
Fish armour?

...

That's a bit TOO insane.

katlercatoffice.jpg

This meeting is over, desu.
 
*Secret Map* by the order the president.

Here we see the fort where General Sparrow is being held, note the stockades around it and the wall on the other side of the river, also supplied is a local map in the top right corner, good day.
Scampattacks.jpg
 
Rise of nations+the thrones and patriots expansion, I messed up on the river though it doesn't look natural.
 
we need another real update.
 
You read my mind, we can't make the republican views of things if Captain is not making those things...
 
I'm coming to Cairo right now to take control of the British-Middle Eastern government.
 
I wish you luck in your venture, General, I'm not sure how many troops I have here *cough* but it is possible I could send some.
 
alright, working on my update, turns out I had been using my Imperial Glory CD as a coaster... and it was slowing me down since I dont like the look of the Medieval gunpowder units

updating coming
 
March 6, 1622

while the Royalist forces in the middle east had been preparing to rescue General Sparrow General Swein of the Republican army had decided to attack the Royalists while they were still recovering from their defeat in Gaza

egypt.jpg


General Swein gathered up his forces of roughly 14,000 strong and began his march to Cairo, his advance began to slow when water and food began to get low, his spies in the Republican army alerted Governor Prince of this problem and he ordered the Royalist army to garrison the town closest to his rebel enemies, knowing they would either have to capture the town or risk dying of thirst

defense.jpg


when the Republican forces arrived they found their only hope of survival in enemy hands, General Swein ordered it attacked but the enemy had much in their favour, attacking a defended settlement was hard enough but in order to reach the settlement in the first place the General had ordered a forced march causing his troops to become tired as well as hungry and thirsty

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once the battle had ended it was a clear Royalist victory, General Swein returned to Gaza with only 9000 troops, 3000 of his troops dying from the battle and a further 2000 dying during the retreat
 
Your majesty,

Remember, the rebels in our Isles must be dealt with, and I'd be honored to lead the sorting out.
 
A disappointing defeat, and I applaud Swein for his bravery if not his tactics. The utmost honour upon the fallen.

To the Governors of Ireland however, do you not see that the Royalists in Africa are using the Union Jack that does not show their contribution to Britain? These images from Egypt clearly show the flag of the Great Britain without the red saltire of Ireland! Brothers of the great Kingdom of Ireland, join us in our fight for FREEDOM!
 
Yet the pictures in Captain's most recent update show the flag without the Irish cross. A despicable act, given Irish contributions to Britain. Do the Royalists really devalue the Irish union so much? Again, I call upon Ireland to rise up against the tyranny of the Crown.

OOC: For the record: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Flags_of_the_Union_Jack.svg, which shows how we aren't actually using the Irish saltire. I never actually noticed that EU3 doesn't use the full Union Jack, despite our conquest of Ireland. I'll be damned if I don't use it to my advantage however ;)

I actually own a British flag, which annoyed my parents no end when I had it displayed on my wall alongside the Scottish flag. Also own a Soviet Union flag as well, for some reason...
 
ooooh flag collections....

I actually have a Union Flag and the Ontario flag I also really want a Quebec flag simply because it looks awesome :p, also my other flag is a Confederate States flag that I put on my wall, I have it because my best friends mother claimed the north part of the city I live in is better than the south, I live in the southern part of the city so I raised the stars and bars in order to bug her

and Ireland is neutral for the most part, they for the most part just sit back and complain about the taxes
 
Given the historical reluctance of Ireland to stay part of Great Britain, I would trust that the fact that in this AAR they are being so left out of something as galvanising as the national flag (they were conquered, like Wales and Scotland, before the Act of Union event) to join my righteous cause? :mischief:
 
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