Mah, mah (that's my, my in english)Tubby Rower said:ooops. I need to pull some troops back from my Find the Bald Chicagoan Task Force.![]()
Aren't you the pot calling the kettle black there young whipper snapper.
OK visualize this..
I will set the stage for the battle between Tubby and I.
It's a north-south thang. (thang is a southern word for thing).
I've added slang words for each part of the country, for effect, so you can truly feel the impact of this conversation.
When Tubby talks put the banjo song from Deliverance in your head.
When I talk put the Blues Brothers rendition of "Sweet Home Chicago" in your head.
Here's how it plays out:
Tubby: Due to the "recent unpleasantness" (The Civil War, what most know as the war between the states) we plan to tick a rat (take a right) and head towards you with hour (are) par full (powerful) worker. We're not askeered (to be afraid) of you spolidiots (Rude and ignorant tourists who overun Charleston, South Carolina each year for the Spoleto Festival, an international arts festival) little shrumps. (shrimp)
In comes one of Tubby's Climpson ( a university Tubby went to called Clemson) peeps (people) carrying some firewater (190 proof worth!) in the room....
Tubby's good 'ol boy (one of the guys) to Tubby:
What do you want to do now? (add a twang to this)
Toothless, baldy Tubby: [grinning] He's got a real purty (pretty) mouth on him, don't he?
Tubby's Cronies: Ain't (isn't) that the truth.
Toothless bald Tubby: [to Whomp] You gonna do some prayin' for me, boyah (a fightin' word meaning boy). And you better pray real good. (a lot)
Sausage chomping, baldy Whomp with Al Capone, Da (the) Coach (Mike Ditka) and Tony "the tuna" Accardo in the room) to Tubby:
If ewes (Plural of you) think you can walk into Cheek Ah Ga (Chicago) I'll give ewes (see above) tree (four minus one) to get otta (out of) hairwa (here) or I'll dump you in the Cal Sag (a nasty canal on the southside of the city) like a Sponge Bab (Bob) Square pants and cut you into sassages (sausages of the Italian variety).
Tubbalieyah (Tubby) : Well that dawg (a dog) don't huhhntah (hunt), (meaning it ain't happening)
Whompalamadingdong (Whomp) : if ewes ***(say the letter j for a long time and then say gah) baygahs (bags) " (a fightin' word) want to bring that little toofless (toothless) worker to the city of big shoulders (Cheek Ah Ga) Well I say bring it!
