random quotes

From my previous sigs (sorry if anyone posted these before):

"If Noah was truly wise, he would've swatted those two flies" - Helen Castle

“Power is the ultimate aphrodisiac”
Henry Kissenger

“I have never let my schooling interfere with my education”
Mark Twain

“It’s not that I don’t have opinions rather that I’m paid not to think aloud”
Yitzhak Navon
 
"Just drive down that road, until you get blown up"
- General George Patton, about reconnaissance troops
 
Mr. B: An optimist says, "The drink is half full." A pessimist says, "The drink is half full, but I might have bowel cancer."
 
"Courage without wisdom is foolishness."
Chinese Proverb​

"Hey, it's every man for himself in this world. Now gimmie a boost up, will ya?"
Calvin, by Bill Watterson​

"He grows up, and marries you. Is that what you wanted to hear?"
J.K. Rowling (to Lisa Simpson)​
 
Guy: You smell that? That's the smell of spring, and I love it. You know what I love to do in spring? I love to come out into the woods, to walk amongst the budding trees, to smell and taste the hint of renewal that hovers in the air like a heady perfume, and to listen to the song of the birds who have returned from their long sojourn south. And bury the people I killed during the winter.
Kids in the Hall​
 
"EVERY path may lead you to God, even the weird ones. Most of us are on a journey. We’re looking for something, though we’re not always sure what that is. The way is foggy much of the time. I suggest you slow down and follow the main road that has the 2 billion followers though."
 
"Something smells like burning breakpads" (said to the tune of 'Deck the halls') - friend from school
 
I've been playing Paraworld a lot.

''Everything's okay up here!''
-Dustrider at Brachiosaur

''I don't feel so good, I think I'm going to bleu!''
-Dustrider at Brachiosaur

''But I'm all right now, I'm just bleu!''
-Dustrider at Brachiosaur

''Ever heard of the maximum legal labor period?''
-Norse worker

''Stop clicking me!''
-Dustrider worker
 
Priest Maxi: Boys, I haven't seen you in church lately.
Kyle: Well, I'm Jewish.
Priest Maxi: You're not too Jewish to worship Jesus, are you?
Kyle: I guess not.
 
"i dont like the look of this one ,his eyes are to close together and he's a yank!"
"pushy armericans always showing up late for every war,over paid,over fed and over here!"
the imperealistic chicken of chicken run
 
Danny Noonan: I haven't even told my father I'm not gonna get that scholarship. I'm gonna end up working in a lumberyard the rest of my life.
Ty Webb: What's wrong with lumber? I own two lumberyards.
Danny Noonan: I notice you don't spend too much time there.
Ty Webb: I'm not quite sure where they are.
Caddyshack
 
Lionel Hutz: "I rest my case"
Judge: "You rest your case? You've only called one witness!"
Lionel Hutz: "No, I thought that was just a figure of speech. Case closed."

Lionel Hutz: "Mr Simpson State Law forbids me from promising you a big cash settlement. But I promise you a big cash settlement"
 
Sea Captain: Yar, sometimes I wonder why I bother plunderin' at all.
 
Quoted feom Robert Jousma, the man whose dutch grandparents fled to Sweden in the WWII:

''How do you do, you ****ing cartelage brain?''

''If I tell an immigrant in Rinkeby to take their education seriously, they would start shooting at me.''

''Ha, Internet? It's just a fly that will be unmodern soon.''

''I always wanted to be titulated as 'His majonnaisse'.''
 
Some from The West Wing

Sam: The 76 year old grandmother doesn't defend herself with a modified AK-47 Assault Rifle, Larry. Not unless she's defending herself against Turkish rebels.
 
"In a democracy idiots get to choose, in a dictatorship they get to rule."

- Bertrand Russell
 
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