Random @#%& rants 5: Life is a female dog.

[RedRalph]

yeah, "working out"

 

[GinandTonic]

So it used to be that 5 on my shower was pure cold and 6 was pure hot, but it's just got much worse. About 5.4 is now pure cold and 5.7 pure hot. The smallest possible movement and it swings wildly between scaulding and freezing. I no longer even try to get a nice temperature, just some hot and some cold. To change the unit I'll have to retile the whole shower.

 

[Brighteye]

I already had a superhand. It's broken. And now everyone's asking me if I need a hand.

 

[Catharsis]

Sounds like you're feeling very Andy Murray circa '07.

 

[IglooDame]

<insert regular racing to post new threads and getting mad because you can't be a thread-whore rant here>

Damn, Nylan took mine.

But I can always rant about the people that are clueless about the term "ground zero" and use it in entirely incorrect ways. It's the new "light year".

 

[bigdog5994]

im sitting here and i have to go pee, but i dont want to get up and that makes me really mad

 

[D'Artagnan59]

Well, I got a 94 on my Math test.

But another test has been scheduled tomorrow when I have homework elsewhere.

 

[LucyDuke]

Rant A
gas for a trip​

I'm taking a 1999 VW Bug turbo down to West Virginia next month. I'm coming from Providence, and I'm going to drive out I-84 to Scranton, then take I-81 down to Charles Town to avoid the NY/NJ traffic (I'm leaving at the peak of rush hour... because I've got no choice. )

It's about a thousand (1020) miles round trip. (It'd be about 880 miles if I went straight through, but those extra 140 miles aren't going to take as long or burn as much gas as getting through that traffic would.) The EPA rating for the bug is 23mpg city, 30mpg highway. I have not yet experienced those lofty numbers while driving this car, it comes out closer to 20 city and 25 highway. Since the majority of this drive will be on relatively uncluttered highway, I can assume that my average will be closer to 25 than 20. This trip will burn about 40 gallons of gas.

Right now my gas stations have cheapo at $3.51. I can only assume this will go up over the course of the next month, and it's kind of hard to stockpile forty gallons of gas while the price is so.. er.. "cheap". If I can get $3.50/gallon gas the whole way through, and I do get 25mpg, I'm going to be shelling out $140 for gas. If it goes up to $4/gallon, which would not surprise me at all, I'm going to be shelling out $160 for gas. If I only get 20mpg, and gas goes up to $4/gallon, I'm gonna be spending $200 on gas.

My main reason for driving is flexibility. I'm bad at schedules and I don't want to make my friend in WV drive me where I need to go. My other reason for driving is that I figured it'd be cheaper than Amtrak. The lowest possible fare is $160. So if my mpg is at the low end, or if gas goes up, driving might end up costing more. I'd still rather drive - $40 is worth having a car available, being able to leave whenever I want, and being able to stop whereever I want. But it still sucks that it's gonna be that expensive.

Note that my math isn't going to work out perfectly because I rounded some but not all of my numbers. It's close enough.

Rant B
talking about gas​

I distinctly remember thinking, as a child, how ridiculous the grown-ups were with their talking. That's all grown-ups ever wanted to do! Just talk, talk, talk. I didn't want to talk, I wanted to do. Play, or draw, or dance, or watch tv, or run around pointlessly. Those grown-ups were insane with all their talking.

And what's worse is what they talked about. It wouldn't've been so bad if they talked about puppies, or about legos, or crayons, or stickers, or sandcastles. But they talked about the dullest things! Politics was one of the worst. Always about the politics. Like it mattered! The 1992 presidential election is the first one I remember. I was six years old, and I didn't give a crap about it. Some of the grown-ups were talking about Ross Perot and Bill Clinton. I wished they would shut up. In my infinite six-year-old wisdom, I told them that George Bush had done just fine so far, and there was no reason to replace him. They laughed at me and sent me outside to play in the mud. I liked the mud.

They also talked about the weather. Now, I love interesting weather. Severe weather, that is. Normal quarter-inch-per-hour rain is not interesting. Inch per hour rain accompanied by tree-downing wind and apocalyptic thunder and lightning is interesting. But the boring old-grownups sat around saying "boy! Thursday was cloudy!". If I ever try to make conversation about the relative cloudiness of Thursday, please kill me on the spot, my life is no longer worth living.

The worst thing they talked about was car stuff. Air pressure in the tires, or changing wiper blades, or getting an oil change, or traffic. These are all stupid topics of conversation that should not interest anyone. I knew that when I grew up I would not have anything to say about the price of gas.

But I also knew I'd live on a farm with a strawberry patch, a creek, fifteen dogs, and a goat by the time I was twenty.

Kids know what's worth doing.

Rant C
stfu plz​

My coworkers are so loud on the phone. Generally I like the quiet. I usually prefer silence to music or radio if I'm working by myself. If somebody's talking in the background at a reasonable volume, whatever. I admit that when I'm out, at a party or at the pub or in the park or whatever, I'm pretty loud too. But not when I'm in a room with someone who is talking on the phone. If you're yelling so effing loudly that I cannot hear the customer I am trying to talk to, and I need to put the customer on hold so that I can get you to shut up, you need to get your hearing checked. Everyone gets so offended when I ask them to be quiet, but I'm not going to feel bad about it when I can't even hear my effing customers.

No, my ears hurt. I'm not going to feel bad about it ever.

Rant D
on thread title​

Dogs are awesome, male or female. Both of my dogs are female. My dogs rule. If life were a female dog, I would have nothing to rant about.

Rant E
there's a reason for this​

I have made no children. I am not currently making any children. I do not plan to make any children in the near future. If on the off-chance I accidentally begin to make children in the near future, I do not intend to complete the procedure. Thus, much as a person without a car would not make regular visits to a gas station, my ovaries do not need to issue child blueprints monthly. It is unnecessary. It is unpleasant, tiring, painful, and irritating.

I don't like being bwitchy.

 

[Trajan12]

Lucy's a better ranter than me.

I am so effing weird. If I get too much attention I feel smothered and get aggravated and if I get too little then I'm thinking something is up.

Kids should not walk dogs! Not big mean limb-ripping ones at least. These three dogs got into a fight in the park today because kids were walking them who so obviously weren't strong enough to control them.

Maybe, just maybe it's not a very wise idea to pay your entire $1.50 bus fare in nickels, on a hot day...

A C on my keyboard stopped working, so now my money I was trying to save up is going to have to be spent on a new keyboard.

The most dumbfounding sight to me ever, is to see trash strewn around the trash bin. I say, wtf?

Nobody wants to hear about the fight at your school where one guy was spitting up blood.

+1 on inefficient shower knobs.

Over friendly people! I will be nice to any decent person, but breathing down my neck and telling the same joke incessantly until I laugh will only be bad.

 

[raketooy]

Damn my German teacher gave me a 9 although he said he'd give a 10. And we have these silly grades, 4 being the worst and 10 the best.

 

[Trafalgar]

I'm running out of wine and I'm too lazy to get off my ass and go to the Liquor store!

Why does life have to be so hard?

 

[salty mud]

Why do queers have to start 'console wars?' Just because some people like a certain console they are insulted and made to feel inferior because of personal preferance. Especially fools who will take it further and try to 'convert' others to see their point of view! How sad can these people possibly be?

 

[D'Artagnan59]

My rant:

I just went to get ice cream. I was gazing at the signboard when someone behind the counter said hi. I'm busy distracted by the signboard and seeing what ice cream they have. I can't hear her. Then, my dad says this: "SAY HI!"

I say hi, and then I turn to my dad and tell him to never do that again. I see out of the corner of my eye...

One of the popular kids at school. Yes, my dad babied me and made an ass out of me IN FRONT OF ONE OF MY FRIENDS. I'M NOT ONE. I AM THIRTEEN AND GOING TO TURN FOURTEEN IN TWO WEEKS. NOT 1. I AM ALMOST IN HIGH SCHOOL, AND HE'S TREATING ME LIKE I'M LEARNING TO TALK. IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG HERE?

Soon, he's going to tell it to one friend, which will make him tell it to a few more friends, then, the whole school will think I'm ******ed. This will lead to me being made fun of at school, which leads to coming home from school nearly brought to tears from being called a ****** all day, which leads to MY DAD.

My dad is the biggest assclown I have ever seen.

 

[Trafalgar]

Some days life (and dads) can suck, but then it gets better and you go to high school, then college, and end up graduating and joining some ritzy law office.

Pretty soon you're a partner and someone suggests you run for senator. You win. You are the youngest senator ever, and after a few years you run for President of the United States....and win.

Now you are the most powerful man in the world. With all the power of the US military behind you you can chase down those 'ba**ards' who called you ******ed and hang them up by their testicles!

See, life isn't all bad.

Hang tough, and never let them see you sweat.

 

[Chazumi]

Damn, ANOTHER one of these threads?

 

[holy king]

Damn my German teacher gave me a 9 although he said he'd give a 10. And we have these silly grades, 4 being the worst and 10 the best.

is there any kind of reason behind this system?

 

[Cutlass]

Stupid 1000 post rule. It's just stupid, why start a completely new thread when there's a perfectly fine thread already.

I'm a Moderator on a forum that let a thread get to over 1000 pages (at 15 posts per page).

It broke the forum.

What happened was at some point (which i've forgotten) it corrupted the database and created a second copy of itself, then after a while it slowed the server way down. It took deleting both copies to restore performance.

I think the software this forum runs on is better than that one, but it's still a potential issue.

 

[bhsup]

My rant:

<<< SNIP RANT ABOUT DAD >>>

At least you are not Prince Andrew, who in international television is seen being "reminded" by his dad to take his hat off before going inside during the wedding of the century. Just for a bit of perspective in embarrassment.

 

[D'Artagnan59]

Dear God, if my dad did that, I'd take a shotgun to his head.

 

[obliterate]

I'm a Moderator on a forum that let a thread get to over 1000 pages (at 15 posts per page).

It broke the forum.

What happened was at some point (which i've forgotten) it corrupted the database and created a second copy of itself, then after a while it slowed the server way down. It took deleting both copies to restore performance.

I think the software this forum runs on is better than that one, but it's still a potential issue.

Well, in Civ4 General Forums there is a thread at 191 pages, another at 239 and one at 436. Those threads are still going too. Not to mention all the ones in the NES forum.

EDIT: There's another one at 104 in Civ4 Beyond the Sword.