Random Rants LXVI: NO, **YOUR** THREAD TITLES SUCK!!

[warpus]

I generally agree but like already mentioned, some English speaking countries use "how are you" or a similar phrase just as a hello more than an actual question that needs answering to maintain proper etikette. Not sure what the case in Canada is in this matter though.

I've tried responding to "Hey, how are you?" with a "Hey!", and it seems short and rude. I have tried "Good!" but then it makes me feel like I should ask them how they are doing. Otherwise in my mind it seems like I'm trying to say that it only matters how I'm doing and that their level of happiness doesn't matter.

The shortest thing that seems to work is "Good, you?" but then that leads back to the original annoyance

A lot of people just say "Hey warpus" and leave it at that. Those are the best people. It's only some who go in for the question. From my experience more social people seem to do this, but I have no idea if I'm seeing patterns where there are none. Introverts definitely seem to prefer a regular "Hi {name}" though

 

[sophie]

Words lose their meaning. 'Heels over head' makes far more sense than 'head over heels' now, doesn't it? Or how about '(Don't) tell me about it'?

Hell, "howdy" is just an abbreviated version of "how d'ye do?", and at this point that word is literally just a colloquial, regional version of "hello". "Sup" is the same.

 

[Takhisis]

Exactly!

 

[hobbsyoyo]

Why do you think people who do this sort of thing like me? I'm sure some do, some don't.

I don't mind people who like me, I just don't like it when people engage in poorly thought out behaviour. They're trying to say "hello" and the fail spectacularly and make things slightly awkward. If they were a bit more logical about their greetings, I wouldn't be peeved at all.

I welcome their friendliness towards me! But if you really honestly want to know how I'm doing, don't ask me while we're hurriedly passing each other in the hallway, while we've already passed each other and are walking away from each other! If you really want to know, ask me when we're just standing around the water cooler or whatever. Or come to my office and we can have a chat. Then I can actually answer you properly without having to turn my head and walk while looking backwards, responding as quickly as I can (because soon enough we'll be too far away from each other to hear).

You know what that says to me? That the person asking doesn't really give a crap how I'm doing. If they really honestly wanted to know, they would pick a far better time to ask me, like I said. So I am not peeved by people who like me, I am peeved by people who don't seem to give a crap and/or engage in poorly thought out social interactions.

If someone uses the greeting of 'how are you?' to stop and have an inconvenient conversation with you, they are doing it because they like you. How is that not obvious? Serious question.

90% of the time, that's what it means. They just like talking to you.

 

[hobbsyoyo]

I don't think you understand why it annoys me. It's annoying because it doesn't work. It's a horribly thought out social interaction. I get along with the person just fine, I'm used to her, I've been working with her for years.

Even if it's just random chat: You'll get used to it. Or better: To that person. The meaningless phrase exchange will still make you used to this person, and you'll feel a connection. That person might become an acquaintance at some point (to whom you talk a bit more), just because of this.
Take it as an opportunity, not as an annoyance.

Listen to The_J dude.

I get your annoyance but it's actually a good thing for you. Don't twist it into something bad just because it's inconvenient. Take joy in the little things, like the fact someone will hold up walking traffic to talk to you.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

Why do you think people who do this sort of thing like me? I'm sure some do, some don't.

Some portion of the people who do this really do genuinely like you. With others, it's a kind of social glue that keeps things amicable. Or they might think it would upset you if they didn't say something.

If they were a bit more logical about their greetings, I wouldn't be peeved at all.

Live long and prosper. *raises hand in the Vulcan salute*

I think the thing is "How are you?" and "How ya doing?" have become just random generic greeting noise. There's no more meaning behind it than "Hello". And even though it's dumb, and a misuse of the language, we're stuck with it.

We don't have to be. Anyone can try to start a new custom. If it catches on, great.

I generally agree but like already mentioned, some English speaking countries use "how are you" or a similar phrase just as a hello more than an actual question that needs answering to maintain proper etikette. Not sure what the case in Canada is in this matter though.

Like warpus, I prefer that people don't ask me how I am if they really don't care. I dislike hypocrisy, so if I ever say "How are you?" to someone, it's because I really do care.

My standard answer to "How's it going?"; "It's going."

My standard answer to "How are you?": "Good, thanks." - and I leave it at that. If I like the person I might add, "And you?"

Actually, the best time to unload rage about such questions is when a telemarketer or pollster calls. When they say "How are you today?"... just tell them. If you were late for work, if you're feeling sick, if someone in the office is being a twit, if you hate the weather... just let it all out. It's cathartic, and probably will make the nuisance caller hang up a lot faster than saying, "Not interested."

 

[W|M]

The solution to all of this is to say ''Greetings, comrade!'' to everyone you see

 

[Lohrenswald]

the solution is to not talk

 

[Valka D'Ur]

the solution is to not talk

But that would be considered rude.

What's the dress code there, warpus? Could you get away with wearing a T-shirt that says, "Hi. How are you? I am fine, thanks. Have a nice day."?

 

[Lohrenswald]

But that would be considered rude.

worth it

also same goes for the other person

 

[warpus]

Listen to The_J dude.

I get your annoyance but it's actually a good thing for you. Don't twist it into something bad just because it's inconvenient. Take joy in the little things, like the fact someone will hold up walking traffic to talk to you.

I mean yeah, I know that it's good that people want to say hi to me.

But from my point of view there are 2 types of people who want to say hi to me. The first group looks at the context of the situation and says hi accordingly. They have the situational awareness to know that in some situations "Hey how are you?" works well but in others a simple "Hi {name}" works a lot better. Or sometimes in some situations they make use an in even more in-depth hello.. when appropriate and practical.

These people are awesome. They obviously care enough about me spend a tiny bit extra effort to figure out which way of saying hi makes the most sense. When I come across these people and they say hi to me I will often glow with joy for the next couple minutes, or longer. It does honestly make the day better, and you do feel better after the fact.

But then there's the other type of people, they always say hi in the exact same way, no matter what the situation is. They make a part of your day awkward, slightly annoying, they remind you that they couldn't really care enough to switch up their hello-saying methodology to match the situation, they're just half arsedly making way through life, probably even saying hello to rocks and other inanimate objects. Yeah, a lot of these people are cool in other ways and I am actually usually excited to see them nevertheless. I do not go back to my office and cut myself because of the lack of joy that just transpired, but if that had been a person from group 1 I would have been glowing with joy, so I think it's fair to feel a bit disappointed when it happens.

 

[hobbsyoyo]

Warpus, yes we all have some people we don't like forreasons.

It's still not a bad thing that someone you don't particularly like wants to talk to you. Annoying, sure. Bad thing? No.

 

[Takhisis]

the solution is to not talk

That line of reasoning has resulted in the recent votes for Brexit and for the appointment of a monster to the presidency of the US. So, no, we need a better choice.

 

[hobbsyoyo]

Well put Tak.

 

[Takhisis]

Yes, well, I subscribe to the ‘others are people, too’ line of thought.

 

[Lohrenswald]

That line of reasoning has resulted in the recent votes for Brexit and for the appointment of a monster to the presidency of the US. So, no, we need a better choice.

you what

 

[Takhisis]

You read it.

 

[dusters]

the solution is to not talk

Words are dead. I bring roses. Roses are beautiful, roses are happiness.

 

[Kyriakos]

Yes, well, I subscribe to the ‘others are people, too’ line of thought.

Even the caudillos?

 

[Takhisis]

Words are dead. I bring roses. Roses are beautiful, roses are happiness.

Bring both.

Even the caudillos?

Even they.