Random Raves XLVII: Who wants cookies?

[Synobun]

lol, yes!

@rah I do feel what your neighbors did was rather rude. I appreciate that they're thinking about children who may have specific allergies, but I feel their way of going about this seems more about themselves. To me, it feels like what's more important to them is not helping kids, but rather showing you up, sort of saying "You didn't think of this, did you? Ha! We're better people than you are." I feel they could just leave a nice big bowl out at their own place with a sign saying "Gluten free: if you have an allergy, take a handful!" or just made sure they're passing it out. I'd think most parents with children with sensitivities would already have a plan for what to do anyway.

It's rude to ensure that kids with vulnerabilities can go to more than one house on the block while trick-or-treating? This seems like the exact sort of thing you'd be all for, Mary. I'm surprised you think it's a transgression to help kids have access to a widespread holiday.

The simple reality is that most people don't know and don't care about sensitivities, and you regularly hear people complain when someone in the neighbourhood asks for consideration at these community events. Simply giving people what they need to accommodate others sounds like a great time-saver and seems to make it more likely that a kid can have fun instead of hoping everyone individually rose to the occasion.

Edit: Put differently, if rah, or whoever else, wasn't directly asked to accommodate a specific sensitivity, would he, or whoever else, have purchased the candy required to accommodate?

Also, the common response to accommodation is, "And who's going to pay for it?" People already skimp on Halloween candy. They're certainly not going to buy special candy for a minority. This solves all the problems. How does it make it about the people who gave the candy? They're the ones losing out in this scenario. Instead of being known as the only people who accommodated vulnerable kids, they'll be known as "one of a few people who accommodated vulnerable kids."

 

[MaryKB]

Raising awareness is one thing, I'd be all for spreading the word about it.

I don't feel what they're really doing is going to help things. Imagine if you're the parent of a child with an allergy ... how are you going to know to bring your kids to these specific houses?

My feeling the only thing that type of stunt accomplishes is to try to make rah feel bad for not thinking of it first. I'm not really fond of those kinds of people who are like "I assume you're not as good as me, so I've gone ahead and taken the liberty to bring you up to my level."

I think a better thing to do would have been perhaps to pass out flyers or something; suggesting to neighbors to remember children with sensitivities, and also make parents aware.

 

[Lexicus]

I think a better thing to do would have been perhaps to pass out flyers or something; suggesting to neighbors to remember children with sensitivities, and also make parents aware.

I think passing out candy is a lot better than passing out flyers. We don't know from rah's story who else they gave candy to.

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

My guess would be that their own kids have allergies and they went around and gave candy to all the houses in the area because of that.

 

[Synobun]

Raising awareness is one thing, I'd be all for spreading the word about it.

I don't feel what they're really doing is going to help things. Imagine if you're the parent of a child with an allergy ... how are you going to know to bring your kids to these specific houses?

My feeling the only thing that type of stunt accomplishes is to try to make rah feel bad for not thinking of it first. I'm not really fond of those kinds of people who are like "I assume you're not as good as me, so I've gone ahead and taken the liberty to bring you up to my level."

I think a better thing to do would have been perhaps to pass out flyers or something; suggesting to neighbors to remember children with sensitivities, and also make parents aware.

Perhaps your neighbourhood is particularly magnanimous, but IME and through my observations the response to "remembering children with sensitivities" is a dismissive scoff.

That being said, I don't have much experience with internal neighbourhood dynamics. I can't say my first impression to me being given an easy way to accommodate others would be to assume nefarious intent and virtue signalling. Am I naive?

 

[MaryKB]

Well I would suggest passing out the flyers a couple weeks ago.

@aimeeandbeatles if they're doing that for the benefit of their own children, then I do feel that's a different story. Wanting to take their own kids out around their neighborhood feels much more appropriate to me, rather than just virtue signalling.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

It's a sad state of affairs when flyers are the expected method for communicating with neighbors.

@rah has provided a conundrum here, because it appears in a vacuum. I can't say how to take the offer of candy because in modern day USA "neighbor" can mean anything from "complete stranger" to "closest thing I have to a friend."

If I were taking my food sensitive kids out trick or treating my neighbors would already know they were coming because I talk to my neighbors. If my neighbors would like to accommodate my kids but they feel uncertainty about knowing what to give them and would appreciate some help I would know that because I talk to my neighbors. If one of my neighbors is feeling bad because they have fallen on hard times and even though they like to participate on Halloween they aren't sure they can afford to this year I would know that because I talk to my neighbors.

 

[Synobun]

If I were taking my food sensitive kids out trick or treating my neighbors would already know they were coming because I talk to my neighbors. If my neighbors would like to accommodate my kids but they feel uncertainty about knowing what to give them and would appreciate some help I would know that because I talk to my neighbors. If one of my neighbors is feeling bad because they have fallen on hard times and even though they like to participate on Halloween they aren't sure they can afford to this year I would know that because I talk to my neighbors.

Tim the worst kind of neighbour confirmed.

 

[Timsup2nothin]

Tim the worst kind of neighbour confirmed.

My neighbors would disagree. I know, because I talk to my neighbors.

 

[rah]

I think passing out candy is a lot better than passing out flyers. We don't know from rah's story who else they gave candy to.

I'm guessing they gave out the same to many in the neighborhood. Especially since there was a flyer inside the bucket with the explanation.
I felt a tad annoyed more than insulted. While I can sympathize with a child with limitations, we were told not to eat anything we were given until we got home and it could all be inspected. Even though they went out of the way to do something about it, I feel they're absolving themselves of the responsibility of inspected anything they get. (even though I know they will do that anyway)

But I refuse to poo-poo on any kids attempt to take joy from the holiday and will abide by any reasonable request. (with a smile)

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

If I was a kid with an allergy I'd be disappointed if my parents had to took away half of my candy.

 

[rah]

As my father used to say. "CANDY TAX"

 

[Timsup2nothin]

If I was a kid with an allergy I'd be disappointed if my parents had to took away half of my candy.

Now imagine if they took all of it.

@rah, consider that that may be exactly what your neighbors are trying to avoid. It isn't likely that they will be "shirking" on the inspection. They have probably just had really bad experiences with the outcomes of the inspections in the past.

 

[rah]

You're probably right and as I said, it was a reasonable request so I'm tying not to be offended or judgmental about it and will abide by it. Halloween is all about the kids (and drunk adults)

 

[Lexicus]

You're probably right and as I said, it was a reasonable request so I'm tying not to be offended or judgmental about it and will abide by it. Halloween is all about the kids (and drunk adults)

I thought it was about "costumes" consisting of lingerie and animal ears

 

[rah]

That's every night.

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

Rave: *gives Halloween treat bags to everyone*

 

[AdamCrock]

Rave: *gives Halloween treat bags to everyone*

 

[aimeeandbeatles]

I went around and checked. Twelve apartments, and six of the treat bags were gone (all the ones on the bottom floor are gone...I hope someone didn't steal them from the other doors ).

 

[AdamCrock]

To be honest in Poland we never had trick-or-treating (not when I was a kid) still I don't think that many people practice it (if any) - I know not a single person who does. But as a kid it was great experience to see fully lit cemetery ... They always look like this :