Rock-Paper-Scissors

Perfection beats children, Complete Arbitrarity, farts in the faces of The Arbiter and Master Chief, and ignores stupid rules.
Paper covers Rock.
Fire burns Paper, beats Rock, Perfection, Thatcher, all humans (except Jesus), children, Santa, Rudolph.
Glacier Melting prevents fire, (in theory) puts out of business Santa, ruldoph
SDLG beats Fire.
Shields block SDLG.
Manufacturing Stuffup sabotages Shields, SDLG II, Antidote.
Union strike nullifies Shields, Manufacturing Stuffup.
Solar Panels are better than Batteries.
SDLG II destroys Solar Panels, Giant Robots.
Plague kills Perfection, Children, and Union Strikes
Acupuncture beats the Plague
Poison kills Acupuncture, children, Thatcher, any human except Perfection (after all, anybody can be poisoned, and realism compromised here...), Organic life, Union Strikes, and Manufacturing Stuffups.
The Antidote cures poison and the plague.
Smashed and Spilled beats Antidote, Posion
Jesus could annilhate anything except Nonexistence of God
Nonexistence of God beats Jesus
Scissors cuts up Santa and Paper.
Rudolph beats Jesus.
Santa beats Rudolph.
Thatcher beats Unions, Scythes (of world workers), Union Strikes (presumably)
Realism beats Perfection, SDLG SDLG II, Giant Robots, Spore, Santa, Rudloph
Spore beats realism, jesus, santa
Complete Arbitrarity beats everything except Perfection, including Aliens
Lack of rational rules beats everything listed so far except Complete Arbitrarity
Anarchy beats Lack of rational rules
Despotism beats Anarchy
Monarchy beats Despotism (because it is more stable)
Democracy beats Monarchy
George W. Bush beats Democracy
Iran-backed Gurellias beat George W Bush
Giant robots beat Iran-backed Gurellias
EMP beats Giant robots, SLDG, SLDG II, Solar Panels
Organic life beats EMP
The Flood beats Organic life, Iran-backed Guerillas, George W. Bush, and anything else with sufficient biomass to sustain the flood
The Arbiter and Master Chief beat the flood and George W. Bush
Guy with gun shoots Perfection, Guy with Knife
Rogue stabs guy with gun and Perfection in the back
Policeman arrests Rouge
Guy with knife kills Policeman, George W. Bush, and Children, in their sleep
Forum Admins can ban Perfection, anybody on these forums
 
Perfection beats children, Complete Arbitrarity, farts in the faces of The Arbiter and Master Chief, and ignores stupid rules.
Paper covers Rock.
Fire burns Paper, beats Rock, Perfection, Thatcher, all humans (except Jesus), children, Santa, Rudolph.
Glacier Melting prevents fire, (in theory) puts out of business Santa, ruldoph
SDLG beats Fire.
Shields block SDLG.
Manufacturing Stuffup sabotages Shields, SDLG II, Antidote.
Union strike nullifies Shields, Manufacturing Stuffup.
Solar Panels are better than Batteries.
SDLG II destroys Solar Panels, Giant Robots.
Plague kills Perfection, Children, and Union Strikes
Acupuncture beats the Plague
Poison kills Acupuncture, children, Thatcher, any human except Perfection (after all, anybody can be poisoned, and realism compromised here...), Organic life, Union Strikes, and Manufacturing Stuffups.
The Antidote cures poison and the plague.
Smashed and Spilled beats Antidote, Posion
Jesus could annilhate anything except Nonexistence of God
Nonexistence of God beats Jesus
Scissors cuts up Santa and Paper.
Rudolph beats Jesus.
Santa beats Rudolph.
Thatcher beats Unions, Scythes (of world workers), Union Strikes (presumably)
Realism beats Perfection, SDLG SDLG II, Giant Robots, Spore, Santa, Rudloph
Spore beats realism, jesus, santa
Complete Arbitrarity beats everything except Perfection, including Aliens
Lack of rational rules beats everything listed so far except Complete Arbitrarity
Anarchy beats Lack of rational rules
Despotism beats Anarchy
Monarchy beats Despotism (because it is more stable)
Democracy beats Monarchy
George W. Bush beats Democracy
Iran-backed Gurellias beat George W Bush
Giant robots beat Iran-backed Gurellias
EMP beats Giant robots, SLDG, SLDG II, Solar Panels
Organic life beats EMP
The Flood beats Organic life, Iran-backed Guerillas, George W. Bush, and anything else with sufficient biomass to sustain the flood
The Arbiter and Master Chief beat the flood and George W. Bush
Guy with gun shoots Perfection, Guy with Knife
Rogue stabs guy with gun and Perfection in the back
Policeman arrests Rouge
Guy with knife kills Policeman, George W. Bush, and Children, in their sleep
Forum Admins can ban Perfection, anybody on these forums
Power outage prevents Forum Admins from coming online to ban anybody
 
(too easy)

Perfection beats children, Complete Arbitrarity, farts in the faces of The Arbiter and Master Chief, and ignores stupid rules.
Paper covers Rock.
Fire burns Paper, beats Rock, Perfection, Thatcher, all humans (except Jesus), children, Santa, Rudolph.
Glacier Melting prevents fire, (in theory) puts out of business Santa, ruldoph
SDLG beats Fire.
Shields block SDLG.
Manufacturing Stuffup sabotages Shields, SDLG II, Antidote.
Union strike nullifies Shields, Manufacturing Stuffup.
Solar Panels are better than Batteries.
SDLG II destroys Solar Panels, Giant Robots.
Plague kills Perfection, Children, and Union Strikes
Acupuncture beats the Plague
Poison kills Acupuncture, children, Thatcher, any human except Perfection (after all, anybody can be poisoned, and realism compromised here...), Organic life, Union Strikes, and Manufacturing Stuffups.
The Antidote cures poison and the plague.
Smashed and Spilled beats Antidote, Posion
Jesus could annilhate anything except Nonexistence of God
Nonexistence of God beats Jesus
Scissors cuts up Santa and Paper.
Rudolph beats Jesus.
Santa beats Rudolph.
Thatcher beats Unions, Scythes (of world workers), Union Strikes (presumably)
Realism beats Perfection, SDLG SDLG II, Giant Robots, Spore, Santa, Rudloph
Spore beats realism, jesus, santa
Complete Arbitrarity beats everything except Perfection, including Aliens
Lack of rational rules beats everything listed so far except Complete Arbitrarity
Anarchy beats Lack of rational rules
Despotism beats Anarchy
Monarchy beats Despotism (because it is more stable)
Democracy beats Monarchy
George W. Bush beats Democracy
Iran-backed Gurellias beat George W Bush
Giant robots beat Iran-backed Gurellias
EMP beats Giant robots, SLDG, SLDG II, Solar Panels
Organic life beats EMP
The Flood beats Organic life, Iran-backed Guerillas, George W. Bush, and anything else with sufficient biomass to sustain the flood
The Arbiter and Master Chief beat the flood and George W. Bush
Guy with gun shoots Perfection, Guy with Knife
Rogue stabs guy with gun and Perfection in the back
Policeman arrests Rouge
Guy with knife kills Policeman, George W. Bush, and Children, in their sleep
Forum Admins can ban Perfection, anybody on these forums
Power outage prevents Forum Admins from coming online to ban anybody
Power generators give power while power outages are happening
 
I'm not sure about the above entry- a power outage stops power generators from working.

Perfection beats children, Complete Arbitrarity, farts in the faces of The Arbiter and Master Chief, and ignores stupid rules.
Paper covers Rock.
Fire burns Paper, beats Rock, Perfection, Thatcher, all humans (except Jesus), children, Santa, Rudolph.
Glacier Melting prevents fire, (in theory) puts out of business Santa, ruldoph
SDLG beats Fire.
Shields block SDLG.
Manufacturing Stuffup sabotages Shields, SDLG II, Antidote, Power generators, SDLG, Solar Panels, Giant Robots, EMP, sabotages Guy with Knife's Knife, Guy with Gun's Gun.
Union strike nullifies Shields, Manufacturing Stuffup.
Solar Panels are better than Batteries.
SDLG II destroys Solar Panels, Giant Robots.
Plague kills Perfection, Children, and Union Strikes
Acupuncture beats the Plague
Poison kills Acupuncture, children, Thatcher, any human except Perfection (after all, anybody can be poisoned, and realism compromised here...), Organic life, Union Strikes, and Manufacturing Stuffups.
The Antidote cures poison and the plague.
Smashed and Spilled beats Antidote, Posion
Jesus could annilhate anything except Nonexistence of God
Nonexistence of God beats Jesus
Scissors cuts up Santa and Paper.
Rudolph beats Jesus.
Santa beats Rudolph.
Thatcher beats Unions, Scythes (of world workers), Union Strikes (presumably)
Realism beats Perfection, SDLG SDLG II, Giant Robots, Spore, Santa, Rudloph
Spore beats realism, jesus, santa
Complete Arbitrarity beats everything except Perfection, including Aliens
Lack of rational rules beats everything listed so far except Complete Arbitrarity
Anarchy beats Lack of rational rules
Despotism beats Anarchy
Monarchy beats Despotism (because it is more stable)
Democracy beats Monarchy
George W. Bush beats Democracy
Iran-backed Gurellias beat George W Bush
Giant robots beat Iran-backed Gurellias
EMP beats Giant robots, SLDG, SLDG II, Solar Panels
Organic life beats EMP
The Flood beats Organic life, Iran-backed Guerillas, George W. Bush, and anything else with sufficient biomass to sustain the flood
The Arbiter and Master Chief beat the flood and George W. Bush
Guy with gun shoots Perfection, Guy with Knife
Rogue stabs guy with gun and Perfection in the back
Policeman arrests Rouge
Guy with knife kills Policeman, George W. Bush, and Children, in their sleep
Forum Admins can ban Perfection, anybody on these forums
Power outage prevents Forum Admins from coming online to ban anybody
Power generators give power while power outages are happening
 
Perfection beats children, Complete Arbitrarity, farts in the faces of The Arbiter and Master Chief, and ignores stupid rules.
Paper covers Rock.
Fire burns Paper, beats Rock, Perfection, Thatcher, all humans (except Jesus), children, Santa, Rudolph.
Glacier Melting prevents fire, (in theory) puts out of business Santa, ruldoph
SDLG beats Fire.
Shields block SDLG.
Manufacturing Stuffup sabotages Shields, SDLG II, Antidote, Power generators, SDLG, Solar Panels, Giant Robots, EMP, sabotages Guy with Knife's Knife, Guy with Gun's Gun.
Union strike nullifies Shields, Manufacturing Stuffup.
Solar Panels are better than Batteries.
SDLG II destroys Solar Panels, Giant Robots.
Plague kills Perfection, Children, and Union Strikes
Acupuncture beats the Plague
Poison kills Acupuncture, children, Thatcher, any human except Perfection (after all, anybody can be poisoned, and realism compromised here...), Organic life, Union Strikes, and Manufacturing Stuffups.
The Antidote cures poison and the plague.
Smashed and Spilled beats Antidote, Posion
Jesus could annilhate anything except Nonexistence of God
Nonexistence of God beats Jesus
Scissors cuts up Santa and Paper.
Rudolph beats Jesus.
Santa beats Rudolph.
Thatcher beats Unions, Scythes (of world workers), Union Strikes (presumably)
Realism beats Perfection, SDLG SDLG II, Giant Robots, Spore, Santa, Rudloph
Spore beats realism, jesus, santa
Complete Arbitrarity beats everything except Perfection, including Aliens
Lack of rational rules beats everything listed so far except Complete Arbitrarity
Anarchy beats Lack of rational rules
Despotism beats Anarchy
Monarchy beats Despotism (because it is more stable)
Democracy beats Monarchy
George W. Bush beats Democracy
Iran-backed Gurellias beat George W Bush
Giant robots beat Iran-backed Gurellias
EMP beats Giant robots, SLDG, SLDG II, Solar Panels
Organic life beats EMP
The Flood beats Organic life, Iran-backed Guerillas, George W. Bush, and anything else with sufficient biomass to sustain the flood
The Arbiter and Master Chief beat the flood and George W. Bush
Guy with gun shoots Perfection, Guy with Knife
Rogue stabs guy with gun and Perfection in the back
Policeman arrests Rouge
Guy with knife kills Policeman, George W. Bush, and Children, in their sleep
Forum Admins can ban Perfection, anybody on these forums
Power outage prevents Forum Admins from coming online to ban anybody
Power generators give power while power outages are happening
Carp beats Dwarf
 
Perfection beats children, Complete Arbitrarity, farts in the faces of The Arbiter and Master Chief, and ignores stupid rules.
Paper covers Rock.
Fire burns Paper, beats Rock, Perfection, Thatcher, all humans (except Jesus), children, Santa, Rudolph.
Glacier Melting prevents fire, (in theory) puts out of business Santa, ruldoph
SDLG beats Fire.
Shields block SDLG.
Manufacturing Stuffup sabotages Shields, SDLG II, Antidote, Power generators, SDLG, Solar Panels, Giant Robots, EMP, sabotages Guy with Knife's Knife, Guy with Gun's Gun.
Union strike nullifies Shields, Manufacturing Stuffup.
Solar Panels are better than Batteries.
SDLG II destroys Solar Panels, Giant Robots.
Plague kills Perfection, Children, and Union Strikes
Acupuncture beats the Plague
Poison kills Acupuncture, children, Thatcher, any human except Perfection (after all, anybody can be poisoned, and realism compromised here...), Organic life, Union Strikes, and Manufacturing Stuffups.
The Antidote cures poison and the plague.
Smashed and Spilled beats Antidote, Posion
Jesus could annilhate anything except Nonexistence of God
Nonexistence of God beats Jesus
Scissors cuts up Santa and Paper.
Rudolph beats Jesus.
Santa beats Rudolph.
Thatcher beats Unions, Scythes (of world workers), Union Strikes (presumably)
Realism beats Perfection, SDLG SDLG II, Giant Robots, Spore, Santa, Rudloph
Spore beats realism, jesus, santa
Complete Arbitrarity beats everything except Perfection, including Aliens
Lack of rational rules beats everything listed so far except Complete Arbitrarity
Anarchy beats Lack of rational rules
Despotism beats Anarchy
Monarchy beats Despotism (because it is more stable)
Democracy beats Monarchy
George W. Bush beats Democracy
Iran-backed Gurellias beat George W Bush
Giant robots beat Iran-backed Gurellias
EMP beats Giant robots, SLDG, SLDG II, Solar Panels
Organic life beats EMP
The Flood beats Organic life, Iran-backed Guerillas, George W. Bush, and anything else with sufficient biomass to sustain the flood
The Arbiter and Master Chief beat the flood and George W. Bush
Guy with gun shoots Perfection, Guy with Knife
Rogue stabs guy with gun and Perfection in the back
Policeman arrests Rouge
Guy with knife kills Policeman, George W. Bush, and Children, in their sleep
Forum Admins can ban Perfection, anybody on these forums
Power outage prevents Forum Admins from coming online to ban anybody
Power generators give power while power outages are happening
Carp beats Dwarf
Fisherman beats Carp
 
You misplaced a line. I went ahead and fixed it for you:

Perfection beats children, Complete Arbitrarity, farts in the faces of The Arbiter and Master Chief, and ignores stupid rules.
Paper covers Rock.
Fire burns Paper, beats Rock, Perfection, Thatcher, all humans (except Jesus), children, Santa, Rudolph.
Glacier Melting prevents fire, (in theory) puts out of business Santa, ruldoph
SDLG beats Fire.
Shields block SDLG.
Manufacturing Stuffup sabotages Shields, SDLG II, Antidote, Power generators, SDLG, Solar Panels, Giant Robots, EMP, sabotages Guy with Knife's Knife, Guy with Gun's Gun.
Union strike nullifies Shields, Manufacturing Stuffup.
Solar Panels are better than Batteries.
SDLG II destroys Solar Panels, Giant Robots.
Plague kills Perfection, Children, and Union Strikes
Acupuncture beats the Plague
Poison kills Acupuncture, children, Thatcher, any human except Perfection (after all, anybody can be poisoned, and realism compromised here...), Organic life, Union Strikes, and Manufacturing Stuffups.
The Antidote cures poison and the plague.
Smashed and Spilled beats Antidote, Posion
Jesus could annilhate anything except Nonexistence of God
Nonexistence of God beats Jesus
Scissors cuts up Santa and Paper.
Rudolph beats Jesus.
Santa beats Rudolph.
Thatcher beats Unions, Scythes (of world workers), Union Strikes (presumably)
Realism beats Perfection, SDLG SDLG II, Giant Robots, Spore, Santa, Rudloph
Spore beats realism, jesus, santa
Complete Arbitrarity beats everything except Perfection, including Aliens
Lack of rational rules beats everything listed so far except Complete Arbitrarity
Anarchy beats Lack of rational rules
Despotism beats Anarchy
Monarchy beats Despotism (because it is more stable)
Democracy beats Monarchy
George W. Bush beats Democracy
Iran-backed Gurellias beat George W Bush
Giant robots beat Iran-backed Gurellias
EMP beats Giant robots, SLDG, SLDG II, Solar Panels
Organic life beats EMP
The Flood beats Organic life, Iran-backed Guerillas, George W. Bush, and anything else with sufficient biomass to sustain the flood
The Arbiter and Master Chief beat the flood and George W. Bush
Guy with gun shoots Perfection, Guy with Knife
Rogue stabs guy with gun and Perfection in the back
Policeman arrests Rouge
Guy with knife kills Policeman, George W. Bush, and Children, in their sleep
Forum Admins can ban Perfection, anybody on these forums
Power outage prevents Forum Admins from coming online to ban anybody
Power generators give power while power outages are happening
Carp beats Dwarf and Fisherman/Fisherdwarf
 
That's just stupid. For another thing, so is the idea that Carp beats Dwarf. (Though it may have some scant justification)

Perfection beats children, Complete Arbitrarity, farts in the faces of The Arbiter and Master Chief, and ignores stupid rules.
Paper covers Rock.
Fire burns Paper, beats Rock, Perfection, Thatcher, all humans (except Jesus), children, Santa, Rudolph.
Glacier Melting prevents fire, (in theory) puts out of business Santa, ruldoph
SDLG beats Fire.
Shields block SDLG.
Manufacturing Stuffup sabotages Shields, SDLG II, Antidote, Power generators, SDLG, Solar Panels, Giant Robots, EMP, sabotages Guy with Knife's Knife, Guy with Gun's Gun.
Union strike nullifies Shields, Manufacturing Stuffup.
Solar Panels are better than Batteries.
SDLG II destroys Solar Panels, Giant Robots.
Plague kills Perfection, Children, and Union Strikes
Acupuncture beats the Plague
Poison kills Acupuncture, children, Thatcher, any human except Perfection (after all, anybody can be poisoned, and realism compromised here...), Organic life, Union Strikes, and Manufacturing Stuffups.
The Antidote cures poison and the plague.
Smashed and Spilled beats Antidote, Posion
Jesus could annilhate anything except Nonexistence of God
Nonexistence of God beats Jesus
Scissors cuts up Santa and Paper.
Rudolph beats Jesus.
Santa beats Rudolph.
Thatcher beats Unions, Scythes (of world workers), Union Strikes (presumably)
Realism beats Perfection, SDLG SDLG II, Giant Robots, Spore, Santa, Rudloph
Spore beats realism, jesus, santa
Complete Arbitrarity beats everything except Perfection, including Aliens
Lack of rational rules beats everything listed so far except Complete Arbitrarity
Anarchy beats Lack of rational rules
Despotism beats Anarchy
Monarchy beats Despotism (because it is more stable)
Democracy beats Monarchy
George W. Bush beats Democracy
Iran-backed Gurellias beat George W Bush
Giant robots beat Iran-backed Gurellias
EMP beats Giant robots, SLDG, SLDG II, Solar Panels
Organic life beats EMP
The Flood beats Organic life, Iran-backed Guerillas, George W. Bush, and anything else with sufficient biomass to sustain the flood
The Arbiter and Master Chief beat the flood and George W. Bush
Guy with gun shoots Perfection, Guy with Knife
Rogue stabs guy with gun and Perfection in the back
Policeman arrests Rouge
Guy with knife kills Policeman, George W. Bush, and Children, in their sleep
Forum Admins can ban Perfection, anybody on these forums
Power outage prevents Forum Admins from coming online to ban anybody
Power generators give power while power outages are happening
Carp beats Dwarf
Fisherman beats Carp
Bureaucrats ban Fisherman
 
It's Dwarf Fortress humour. Carp and dwarves don't mix, but Dwarf chunks and carp chunks do.

Perfection beats children, Complete Arbitrarity, farts in the faces of The Arbiter and Master Chief, and ignores stupid rules.
Paper covers Rock.
Fire burns Paper, beats Rock, Perfection, Thatcher, all humans (except Jesus), children, Santa, Rudolph.
Glacier Melting prevents fire, (in theory) puts out of business Santa, ruldoph
SDLG beats Fire.
Shields block SDLG.
Manufacturing Stuffup sabotages Shields, SDLG II, Antidote, Power generators, SDLG, Solar Panels, Giant Robots, EMP, sabotages Guy with Knife's Knife, Guy with Gun's Gun.
Union strike nullifies Shields, Manufacturing Stuffup.
Solar Panels are better than Batteries.
SDLG II destroys Solar Panels, Giant Robots.
Plague kills Perfection, Children, and Union Strikes
Acupuncture beats the Plague
Poison kills Acupuncture, children, Thatcher, any human except Perfection (after all, anybody can be poisoned, and realism compromised here...), Organic life, Union Strikes, and Manufacturing Stuffups.
The Antidote cures poison and the plague.
Smashed and Spilled beats Antidote, Posion
Jesus could annilhate anything except Nonexistence of God
Nonexistence of God beats Jesus
Scissors cuts up Santa and Paper.
Rudolph beats Jesus.
Santa beats Rudolph.
Thatcher beats Unions, Scythes (of world workers), Union Strikes (presumably)
Realism beats Perfection, SDLG SDLG II, Giant Robots, Spore, Santa, Rudloph
Spore beats realism, jesus, santa
Complete Arbitrarity beats everything except Perfection, including Aliens
Lack of rational rules beats everything listed so far except Complete Arbitrarity
Anarchy beats Lack of rational rules
Despotism beats Anarchy
Monarchy beats Despotism (because it is more stable)
Democracy beats Monarchy
George W. Bush beats Democracy
Iran-backed Gurellias beat George W Bush
Giant robots beat Iran-backed Gurellias
EMP beats Giant robots, SLDG, SLDG II, Solar Panels
Organic life beats EMP
The Flood beats Organic life, Iran-backed Guerillas, George W. Bush, and anything else with sufficient biomass to sustain the flood
The Arbiter and Master Chief beat the flood and George W. Bush
Guy with gun shoots Perfection, Guy with Knife
Rogue stabs guy with gun and Perfection in the back
Policeman arrests Rouge
Guy with knife kills Policeman, George W. Bush, and Children, in their sleep
Forum Admins can ban Perfection, anybody on these forums
Power outage prevents Forum Admins from coming online to ban anybody
Power generators give power while power outages are happening
Carp beats Dwarf and Fisherman/Fisherdwarf
Bureaucrats ban Fisherman
Carp drags Bureaucrats into the water and nibble them to death
 
Perfection beats children, Complete Arbitrarity, farts in the faces of The Arbiter and Master Chief, and ignores stupid rules.
Paper covers Rock.
Fire burns Paper, beats Rock, Perfection, Thatcher, all humans (except Jesus), children, Santa, Rudolph.
Glacier Melting prevents fire, (in theory) puts out of business Santa, ruldoph
SDLG beats Fire.
Shields block SDLG.
Manufacturing Stuffup sabotages Shields, SDLG II, Antidote, Power generators, SDLG, Solar Panels, Giant Robots, EMP, sabotages Guy with Knife's Knife, Guy with Gun's Gun.
Union strike nullifies Shields, Manufacturing Stuffup.
Solar Panels are better than Batteries.
SDLG II destroys Solar Panels, Giant Robots.
Plague kills Perfection, Children, and Union Strikes
Acupuncture beats the Plague
Poison kills Acupuncture, children, Thatcher, any human except Perfection (after all, anybody can be poisoned, and realism compromised here...), Organic life, Union Strikes, and Manufacturing Stuffups.
The Antidote cures poison and the plague.
Smashed and Spilled beats Antidote, Posion
Jesus could annilhate anything except Nonexistence of God
Nonexistence of God beats Jesus
Scissors cuts up Santa and Paper.
Rudolph beats Jesus.
Santa beats Rudolph.
Thatcher beats Unions, Scythes (of world workers), Union Strikes (presumably)
Realism beats Perfection, SDLG SDLG II, Giant Robots, Spore, Santa, Rudloph
Spore beats realism, jesus, santa
Complete Arbitrarity beats everything except Perfection, including Aliens
Lack of rational rules beats everything listed so far except Complete Arbitrarity
Anarchy beats Lack of rational rules
Despotism beats Anarchy
Monarchy beats Despotism (because it is more stable)
Democracy beats Monarchy
George W. Bush beats Democracy
Iran-backed Gurellias beat George W Bush
Giant robots beat Iran-backed Gurellias
EMP beats Giant robots, SLDG, SLDG II, Solar Panels
Organic life beats EMP
The Flood beats Organic life, Iran-backed Guerillas, George W. Bush, and anything else with sufficient biomass to sustain the flood
The Arbiter and Master Chief beat the flood and George W. Bush
Guy with gun shoots Perfection, Guy with Knife
Rogue stabs guy with gun and Perfection in the back
Policeman arrests Rouge
Guy with knife kills Policeman, George W. Bush, and Children, in their sleep
Forum Admins can ban Perfection, anybody on these forums
Power outage prevents Forum Admins from coming online to ban anybody
Power generators give power while power outages are happening
Carp beats Dwarf and Fisherman/Fisherdwarf
Bureaucrats ban Fisherman
Carp drags Bureaucrats into the water and nibble them to death
I break all copies of Dwarf Fortress in the world, and delete it from all computers, hence no more carps.
 
I still disagree with this. There is no logical reason for Carp to beat Fishermen, and without that sort of reason retconning a post is unacceptable.

Perfection beats children, Complete Arbitrarity, farts in the faces of The Arbiter and Master Chief, and ignores stupid rules.
Paper covers Rock.
Fire burns Paper, beats Rock, Perfection, Thatcher, all humans (except Jesus), children, Santa, Rudolph.
Glacier Melting prevents fire, (in theory) puts out of business Santa, ruldoph
SDLG beats Fire.
Shields block SDLG.
Manufacturing Stuffup sabotages Shields, SDLG II, Antidote, Power generators, SDLG, Solar Panels, Giant Robots, EMP, sabotages Guy with Knife's Knife, Guy with Gun's Gun.
Union strike nullifies Shields, Manufacturing Stuffup.
Solar Panels are better than Batteries.
SDLG II destroys Solar Panels, Giant Robots.
Plague kills Perfection, Children, and Union Strikes
Acupuncture beats the Plague
Poison kills Acupuncture, children, Thatcher, any human except Perfection (after all, anybody can be poisoned, and realism compromised here...), Organic life, Union Strikes, and Manufacturing Stuffups.
The Antidote cures poison and the plague.
Smashed and Spilled beats Antidote, Posion
Jesus could annilhate anything except Nonexistence of God
Nonexistence of God beats Jesus
Scissors cuts up Santa and Paper.
Rudolph beats Jesus.
Santa beats Rudolph.
Thatcher beats Unions, Scythes (of world workers), Union Strikes (presumably)
Realism beats Perfection, SDLG SDLG II, Giant Robots, Spore, Santa, Rudloph
Spore beats realism, jesus, santa
Complete Arbitrarity beats everything except Perfection, including Aliens
Lack of rational rules beats everything listed so far except Complete Arbitrarity
Anarchy beats Lack of rational rules
Despotism beats Anarchy
Monarchy beats Despotism (because it is more stable)
Democracy beats Monarchy
George W. Bush beats Democracy
Iran-backed Gurellias beat George W Bush
Giant robots beat Iran-backed Gurellias
EMP beats Giant robots, SLDG, SLDG II, Solar Panels
Organic life beats EMP
The Flood beats Organic life, Iran-backed Guerillas, George W. Bush, and anything else with sufficient biomass to sustain the flood
The Arbiter and Master Chief beat the flood and George W. Bush
Guy with gun shoots Perfection, Guy with Knife
Rogue stabs guy with gun and Perfection in the back
Policeman arrests Rouge
Guy with knife kills Policeman, George W. Bush, and Children, in their sleep
Forum Admins can ban Perfection, Choxorn, anybody on these forums
Power outage prevents Forum Admins from coming online to ban anybody
Power generators give power while power outages are happening
Carp beats Dwarf, drags Bureaucrats into the water and nibble them to death
Fisherman beats Carp
Bureaucrats ban Fisherman
Choxorn breaks all copies of Dwarf Fortress in the world, and delete it from all computers, hence no more carps.
 
It makes sense. The carp sit in the water, stare at the fisherman, they get to the edge, they try to fish, but their task is interrupted by carp, then they try again, but the carp has them in their sights and they go in for the kill, dragging the fisherman into the water and nibbling him to death, the same way as to bureaucrats. It happened to me in one of my forts.

Perfection beats children, Complete Arbitrarity, farts in the faces of The Arbiter and Master Chief, and ignores stupid rules.
Paper covers Rock.
Fire burns Paper, beats Rock, Perfection, Thatcher, all humans (except Jesus), children, Santa, Rudolph.
Glacier Melting prevents fire, (in theory) puts out of business Santa, ruldoph
SDLG beats Fire.
Shields block SDLG.
Manufacturing Stuffup sabotages Shields, SDLG II, Antidote, Power generators, SDLG, Solar Panels, Giant Robots, EMP, sabotages Guy with Knife's Knife, Guy with Gun's Gun.
Union strike nullifies Shields, Manufacturing Stuffup.
Solar Panels are better than Batteries.
SDLG II destroys Solar Panels, Giant Robots.
Plague kills Perfection, Children, and Union Strikes
Acupuncture beats the Plague
Poison kills Acupuncture, children, Thatcher, any human except Perfection (after all, anybody can be poisoned, and realism compromised here...), Organic life, Union Strikes, and Manufacturing Stuffups.
The Antidote cures poison and the plague.
Smashed and Spilled beats Antidote, Posion
Jesus could annilhate anything except Nonexistence of God
Nonexistence of God beats Jesus
Scissors cuts up Santa and Paper.
Rudolph beats Jesus.
Santa beats Rudolph.
Thatcher beats Unions, Scythes (of world workers), Union Strikes (presumably)
Realism beats Perfection, SDLG SDLG II, Giant Robots, Spore, Santa, Rudloph, Carp's ability to kill everything
Spore beats realism, jesus, santa
Complete Arbitrarity beats everything except Perfection, including Aliens
Lack of rational rules beats everything listed so far except Complete Arbitrarity
Anarchy beats Lack of rational rules
Despotism beats Anarchy
Monarchy beats Despotism (because it is more stable)
Democracy beats Monarchy
George W. Bush beats Democracy
Iran-backed Gurellias beat George W Bush
Giant robots beat Iran-backed Gurellias
EMP beats Giant robots, SLDG, SLDG II, Solar Panels
Organic life beats EMP
The Flood beats Organic life, Iran-backed Guerillas, George W. Bush, and anything else with sufficient biomass to sustain the flood
The Arbiter and Master Chief beat the flood and George W. Bush
Guy with gun shoots Perfection, Guy with Knife
Rogue stabs guy with gun and Perfection in the back
Policeman arrests Rouge
Guy with knife kills Policeman, George W. Bush, and Children, in their sleep
Forum Admins can ban Perfection, Choxorn, anybody on these forums
Power outage prevents Forum Admins from coming online to ban anybody
Power generators give power while power outages are happening
Carp beats Dwarf, drags Bureaucrats and Fisherman/Fishdwarf into the water and nibble them to death
Bureaucrats ban Fisherman
Choxorn breaks all copies of Dwarf Fortress in the world, and delete it from all computers, hence no more carps.




There, for your purposes, Realism beats the carp's ability to kill everything
 
Stylesrj, you admit that a carp killing a fisherman is unrealistic. There is an argument for tolerating unrealistic posts, but retconning a post to something unrealistic is not something I will accept.

Perfection beats children, Complete Arbitrarity, farts in the faces of The Arbiter and Master Chief, and ignores stupid rules.
Paper covers Rock.
Fire burns Paper, beats Rock, Perfection, Thatcher, all humans (except Jesus), children, Santa, Rudolph.
Glacier Melting prevents fire, (in theory) puts out of business Santa, ruldoph
SDLG beats Fire.
Shields block SDLG.
Manufacturing Stuffup sabotages Shields, SDLG II, Antidote, Power generators, SDLG, Solar Panels, Giant Robots, EMP, sabotages Guy with Knife's Knife, Guy with Gun's Gun.
Union strike nullifies Shields, Manufacturing Stuffup.
Solar Panels are better than Batteries.
SDLG II destroys Solar Panels, Giant Robots.
Plague kills Perfection, Children, and Union Strikes
Acupuncture beats the Plague
Poison kills Acupuncture, children, Thatcher, any human except Perfection (after all, anybody can be poisoned, and realism compromised here...), Organic life, Union Strikes, and Manufacturing Stuffups.
The Antidote cures poison and the plague.
Smashed and Spilled beats Antidote, Posion
Jesus could annilhate anything except Nonexistence of God
Nonexistence of God beats Jesus
Scissors cuts up Santa and Paper.
Rudolph beats Jesus.
Santa beats Rudolph.
Thatcher beats Unions, Scythes (of world workers), Union Strikes (presumably)
Realism beats Perfection, SDLG SDLG II, Giant Robots, Spore, Santa, Rudloph
Spore beats realism, jesus, santa
Complete Arbitrarity beats everything except Perfection, including Aliens
Lack of rational rules beats everything listed so far except Complete Arbitrarity
Anarchy beats Lack of rational rules
Despotism beats Anarchy
Monarchy beats Despotism (because it is more stable)
Democracy beats Monarchy
George W. Bush beats Democracy
Iran-backed Gurellias beat George W Bush
Giant robots beat Iran-backed Gurellias
EMP beats Giant robots, SLDG, SLDG II, Solar Panels
Organic life beats EMP
The Flood beats Organic life, Iran-backed Guerillas, George W. Bush, and anything else with sufficient biomass to sustain the flood
The Arbiter and Master Chief beat the flood and George W. Bush
Guy with gun shoots Perfection, Guy with Knife
Rogue stabs guy with gun and Perfection in the back
Policeman arrests Rouge
Guy with knife kills Policeman, George W. Bush, and Children, in their sleep
Forum Admins can ban Perfection, Choxorn, anybody on these forums
Forum's Founder can sack Forum Admins
Power outage prevents Forum Admins from coming online to ban anybody
Power generators give power while power outages are happening
Carp beats Dwarf, drags Bureaucrats into the water and nibble them to death
Fisherman beats Carp
Bureaucrats ban Fisherman
Choxorn breaks all copies of Dwarf Fortress in the world, and delete it from all computers, hence no more carps.
 
Why can't it be unrealistic? Realism beats it, so it isn't a worry. It creates some sort of paradox anyway...

Perfection beats children, Complete Arbitrarity, farts in the faces of The Arbiter and Master Chief, and ignores stupid rules.
Paper covers Rock.
Fire burns Paper, beats Rock, Perfection, Thatcher, all humans (except Jesus), children, Santa, Rudolph.
Glacier Melting prevents fire, (in theory) puts out of business Santa, ruldoph
SDLG beats Fire.
Shields block SDLG.
Manufacturing Stuffup sabotages Shields, SDLG II, Antidote, Power generators, SDLG, Solar Panels, Giant Robots, EMP, sabotages Guy with Knife's Knife, Guy with Gun's Gun.
Union strike nullifies Shields, Manufacturing Stuffup.
Solar Panels are better than Batteries.
SDLG II destroys Solar Panels, Giant Robots.
Plague kills Perfection, Children, and Union Strikes
Acupuncture beats the Plague
Poison kills Acupuncture, children, Thatcher, any human except Perfection (after all, anybody can be poisoned, and realism compromised here...), Organic life, Union Strikes, and Manufacturing Stuffups.
The Antidote cures poison and the plague.
Smashed and Spilled beats Antidote, Posion
Jesus could annilhate anything except Nonexistence of God
Nonexistence of God beats Jesus
Scissors cuts up Santa and Paper.
Rudolph beats Jesus.
Santa beats Rudolph.
Thatcher beats Unions, Scythes (of world workers), Union Strikes (presumably)
Realism beats Perfection, SDLG SDLG II, Giant Robots, Spore, Santa, Rudloph
Spore beats realism, jesus, santa
Complete Arbitrarity beats everything except Perfection, including Aliens
Lack of rational rules beats everything listed so far except Complete Arbitrarity
Anarchy beats Lack of rational rules
Despotism beats Anarchy
Monarchy beats Despotism (because it is more stable)
Democracy beats Monarchy
George W. Bush beats Democracy
Iran-backed Gurellias beat George W Bush
Giant robots beat Iran-backed Gurellias
EMP beats Giant robots, SLDG, SLDG II, Solar Panels
Organic life beats EMP
The Flood beats Organic life, Iran-backed Guerillas, George W. Bush, and anything else with sufficient biomass to sustain the flood
The Arbiter and Master Chief beat the flood and George W. Bush
Guy with gun shoots Perfection, Guy with Knife
Rogue stabs guy with gun and Perfection in the back
Policeman arrests Rouge
Guy with knife kills Policeman, George W. Bush, and Children, in their sleep
Forum Admins can ban Perfection, Choxorn, anybody on these forums
Forum's Founder can sack Forum Admins
Power outage prevents Forum Admins from coming online to ban anybody
Power generators give power while power outages are happening
Carp beats Dwarf, drags Bureaucrats into the water and nibble them to death
Bureaucrats ban Fisherman
Choxorn breaks all copies of Dwarf Fortress in the world, and delete it from all computers, hence no more carps.
Elephants beat Boatmurdered (a fortress in Dwarf Fortress. Look it up. Funny legacy)
 
Maybe one of us should start a new thread.

Perfection beats children, Complete Arbitrarity, farts in the faces of The Arbiter and Master Chief, and ignores stupid rules.
Paper covers Rock.
Fire burns Paper, beats Rock, Perfection, Thatcher, all humans (except Jesus), children, Santa, Rudolph.
Glacier Melting prevents fire, (in theory) puts out of business Santa, ruldoph
SDLG beats Fire.
Shields block SDLG.
Manufacturing Stuffup sabotages Shields, SDLG II, Antidote, Power generators, SDLG, Solar Panels, Giant Robots, EMP, sabotages Guy with Knife's Knife, Guy with Gun's Gun.
Union strike nullifies Shields, Manufacturing Stuffup.
Solar Panels are better than Batteries.
SDLG II destroys Solar Panels, Giant Robots.
Plague kills Perfection, Children, and Union Strikes
Acupuncture beats the Plague
Poison kills Acupuncture, children, Thatcher, any human except Perfection (after all, anybody can be poisoned, and realism compromised here...), Organic life, Union Strikes, and Manufacturing Stuffups.
The Antidote cures poison and the plague.
Smashed and Spilled beats Antidote, Posion
Jesus could annilhate anything except Nonexistence of God
Nonexistence of God beats Jesus
Scissors cuts up Santa and Paper.
Rudolph beats Jesus.
Santa beats Rudolph.
Thatcher beats Unions, Scythes (of world workers), Union Strikes (presumably)
Realism beats Perfection, SDLG SDLG II, Giant Robots, Spore, Santa, Rudloph
Spore beats realism, jesus, santa
Complete Arbitrarity beats everything except Perfection, including Aliens
Lack of rational rules beats everything listed so far except Complete Arbitrarity
Anarchy beats Lack of rational rules
Despotism beats Anarchy
Monarchy beats Despotism (because it is more stable)
Democracy beats Monarchy
George W. Bush beats Democracy
Iran-backed Gurellias beat George W Bush
Giant robots beat Iran-backed Gurellias
EMP beats Giant robots, SLDG, SLDG II, Solar Panels
Organic life beats EMP
The Flood beats Organic life, Iran-backed Guerillas, George W. Bush, and anything else with sufficient biomass to sustain the flood
The Arbiter and Master Chief beat the flood and George W. Bush
Guy with gun shoots Perfection, Guy with Knife
Rogue stabs guy with gun and Perfection in the back
Policeman arrests Rouge
Guy with knife kills Policeman, George W. Bush, and Children, in their sleep
Forum Admins can ban Perfection, Choxorn, anybody on these forums
Forum's Founder can sack Forum Admins
Power outage prevents Forum Admins from coming online to ban anybody
Power generators give power while power outages are happening
Carp beats Dwarf, drags Bureaucrats into the water and nibble them to death
Fisherman beats Carp
Bureaucrats ban Fisherman
Choxorn breaks all copies of Dwarf Fortress in the world, and delete it from all computers, hence no more carps.
Elephants beat Botmurdered?
Hunters beat Elephants
 
Perfection beats children, Complete Arbitrarity, farts in the faces of The Arbiter and Master Chief, and ignores stupid rules.
Paper covers Rock.
Fire burns Paper, beats Rock, Perfection, Thatcher, all humans (except Jesus), children, Santa, Rudolph.
Glacier Melting prevents fire, (in theory) puts out of business Santa, ruldoph
SDLG beats Fire.
Shields block SDLG.
Manufacturing Stuffup sabotages Shields, SDLG II, Antidote, Power generators, SDLG, Solar Panels, Giant Robots, EMP, sabotages Guy with Knife's Knife, Guy with Gun's Gun.
Union strike nullifies Shields, Manufacturing Stuffup.
Solar Panels are better than Batteries.
SDLG II destroys Solar Panels, Giant Robots.
Plague kills Perfection, Children, and Union Strikes
Acupuncture beats the Plague
Poison kills Acupuncture, children, Thatcher, any human except Perfection (after all, anybody can be poisoned, and realism compromised here...), Organic life, Union Strikes, and Manufacturing Stuffups.
The Antidote cures poison and the plague.
Smashed and Spilled beats Antidote, Posion
Jesus could annilhate anything except Nonexistence of God
Nonexistence of God beats Jesus
Scissors cuts up Santa and Paper.
Rudolph beats Jesus.
Santa beats Rudolph.
Thatcher beats Unions, Scythes (of world workers), Union Strikes (presumably)
Realism beats Perfection, SDLG SDLG II, Giant Robots, Spore, Santa, Rudloph
Spore beats realism, jesus, santa
Complete Arbitrarity beats everything except Perfection, including Aliens
Lack of rational rules beats everything listed so far except Complete Arbitrarity
Anarchy beats Lack of rational rules
Despotism beats Anarchy
Monarchy beats Despotism (because it is more stable)
Democracy beats Monarchy
George W. Bush beats Democracy
Iran-backed Gurellias beat George W Bush
Giant robots beat Iran-backed Gurellias
EMP beats Giant robots, SLDG, SLDG II, Solar Panels
Organic life beats EMP
The Flood beats Organic life, Iran-backed Guerillas, George W. Bush, and anything else with sufficient biomass to sustain the flood
The Arbiter and Master Chief beat the flood and George W. Bush
Guy with gun shoots Perfection, Guy with Knife
Rogue stabs guy with gun and Perfection in the back
Policeman arrests Rouge
Guy with knife kills Policeman, George W. Bush, and Children, in their sleep
Forum Admins can ban Perfection, Choxorn, anybody on these forums
Forum's Founder can sack Forum Admins
Power outage prevents Forum Admins from coming online to ban anybody
Power generators give power while power outages are happening
Carp beats Dwarf, drags Bureaucrats into the water and nibble them to death
Fisherman beats Carp
Bureaucrats ban Fisherman and Hunters
Choxorn breaks all copies of Dwarf Fortress in the world, and delete it from all computers, hence no more carps.
Elephants beat Botmurdered and eat Carp and trample Bureaucrats
Hunters beat Elephants
 
Perfection beats children, Complete Arbitrarity, farts in the faces of The Arbiter and Master Chief, and ignores stupid rules.
Paper covers Rock.
Fire burns Paper, beats Rock, Perfection, Thatcher, all humans (except Jesus), children, Santa, Rudolph.
Glacier Melting prevents fire, (in theory) puts out of business Santa, ruldoph
SDLG beats Fire.
Shields block SDLG.
Manufacturing Stuffup sabotages Shields, SDLG II, Antidote, Power generators, SDLG, Solar Panels, Giant Robots, EMP, sabotages Guy with Knife's Knife, Guy with Gun's Gun.
Union strike nullifies Shields, Manufacturing Stuffup.
Solar Panels are better than Batteries.
SDLG II destroys Solar Panels, Giant Robots.
Plague kills Perfection, Children, and Union Strikes
Acupuncture beats the Plague
Poison kills Acupuncture, children, Thatcher, any human except Perfection (after all, anybody can be poisoned, and realism compromised here...), Organic life, Union Strikes, and Manufacturing Stuffups.
The Antidote cures poison and the plague.
Smashed and Spilled beats Antidote, Posion
Jesus could annilhate anything except Nonexistence of God
Nonexistence of God beats Jesus
Scissors cuts up Santa and Paper.
Rudolph beats Jesus.
Santa beats Rudolph.
Thatcher beats Unions, Scythes (of world workers), Union Strikes (presumably)
Realism beats Perfection, SDLG SDLG II, Giant Robots, Spore, Santa, Rudloph
Spore beats realism, jesus, santa
Complete Arbitrarity beats everything except Perfection, including Aliens
Lack of rational rules beats everything listed so far except Complete Arbitrarity
Anarchy beats Lack of rational rules
Despotism beats Anarchy
Monarchy beats Despotism (because it is more stable)
Democracy beats Monarchy
George W. Bush beats Democracy and underfunds bureaucrats
Iran-backed Gurellias beat George W Bush
Giant robots beat Iran-backed Gurellias
EMP beats Giant robots, SLDG, SLDG II, Solar Panels
Organic life beats EMP
The Flood beats Organic life, Iran-backed Guerillas, George W. Bush, and anything else with sufficient biomass to sustain the flood
The Arbiter and Master Chief beat the flood and George W. Bush
Guy with gun shoots Perfection, Guy with Knife
Rogue stabs guy with gun and Perfection in the back
Policeman arrests Rouge
Guy with knife kills Policeman, George W. Bush, and Children, in their sleep
Forum Admins can ban Perfection, Choxorn, anybody on these forums
Forum's Founder can sack Forum Admins
Power outage prevents Forum Admins from coming online to ban anybody
Power generators give power while power outages are happening
Carp beats Dwarf, drags Bureaucrats into the water and nibble them to death
Fisherman beats Carp
Bureaucrats ban Fisherman and Hunters
Choxorn breaks all copies of Dwarf Fortress in the world, and delete it from all computers, hence no more carps.
Elephants beat Botmurdered and eat Carp and trample Bureaucrats
Hunters beat Elephants
 
Perfection beats children, Complete Arbitrarity, farts in the faces of The Arbiter and Master Chief, and ignores stupid rules.
Paper covers Rock.
Fire burns Paper, beats Rock, Perfection, Thatcher, all humans (except Jesus), children, Santa, Rudolph.
Glacier Melting prevents fire, (in theory) puts out of business Santa, ruldoph
SDLG beats Fire.
Shields block SDLG.
Manufacturing Stuffup sabotages Shields, SDLG II, Antidote, Power generators, SDLG, Solar Panels, Giant Robots, EMP, sabotages Guy with Knife's Knife, Guy with Gun's Gun.
Union strike nullifies Shields, Manufacturing Stuffup.
Solar Panels are better than Batteries.
SDLG II destroys Solar Panels, Giant Robots.
Plague kills Perfection, Children, and Union Strikes
Acupuncture beats the Plague
Poison kills Acupuncture, children, Thatcher, any human except Perfection (after all, anybody can be poisoned, and realism compromised here...), Organic life, Union Strikes, and Manufacturing Stuffups.
The Antidote cures poison and the plague.
Smashed and Spilled beats Antidote, Posion
Jesus could annilhate anything except Nonexistence of God
Nonexistence of God beats Jesus
Scissors cuts up Santa and Paper.
Rudolph beats Jesus.
Santa beats Rudolph.
Thatcher beats Unions, Scythes (of world workers), Union Strikes (presumably)
Realism beats Perfection, SDLG SDLG II, Giant Robots, Spore, Santa, Rudloph
Spore beats realism, jesus, santa
Complete Arbitrarity beats everything except Perfection, including Aliens
Lack of rational rules beats everything listed so far except Complete Arbitrarity
Anarchy beats Lack of rational rules
Despotism beats Anarchy
Monarchy beats Despotism (because it is more stable)
Democracy beats Monarchy
George W. Bush beats Democracy and underfunds bureaucrats
Iran-backed Gurellias beat George W Bush
Giant robots beat Iran-backed Gurellias
EMP beats Giant robots, SLDG, SLDG II, Solar Panels
Organic life beats EMP
The Flood beats Organic life, Iran-backed Guerillas, George W. Bush, and anything else with sufficient biomass to sustain the flood
The Arbiter and Master Chief beat the flood and George W. Bush
Guy with gun shoots Perfection, Guy with Knife
Rogue stabs guy with gun and Perfection in the back
Policeman arrests Rouge
Guy with knife kills Policeman, George W. Bush, and Children, in their sleep
Forum Admins can ban Perfection, Choxorn, anybody on these forums
Forum's Founder can sack Forum Admins
Power outage prevents Forum Admins from coming online to ban anybody
Power generators give power while power outages are happening
Carp beats Dwarf, drags Bureaucrats into the water and nibble them to death
Fisherman beats Carp
Bureaucrats ban Fisherman and Hunters
Choxorn breaks all copies of Dwarf Fortress in the world, and delete it from all computers, hence no more carps.
Elephants beat Botmurdered and eat Carp and trample Bureaucrats
Hunters beat Elephants
Barney beats Perfection
 
Perfection beats children, Complete Arbitrarity, farts in the faces of The Arbiter and Master Chief, and ignores stupid rules.
Paper covers Rock.
Fire burns Paper, beats Rock, Perfection, Thatcher, all humans (except Jesus), children, Santa, Rudolph.
Glacier Melting prevents fire, (in theory) puts out of business Santa, ruldoph
SDLG beats Fire.
Shields block SDLG.
Manufacturing Stuffup sabotages Shields, SDLG II, Antidote, Power generators, SDLG, Solar Panels, Giant Robots, EMP, sabotages Guy with Knife's Knife, Guy with Gun's Gun.
Union strike nullifies Shields, Manufacturing Stuffup.
Solar Panels are better than Batteries.
SDLG II destroys Solar Panels, Giant Robots.
Plague kills Perfection, Children, and Union Strikes
Acupuncture beats the Plague
Poison kills Acupuncture, children, Thatcher, any human except Perfection (after all, anybody can be poisoned, and realism compromised here...), Organic life, Union Strikes, and Manufacturing Stuffups.
The Antidote cures poison and the plague.
Smashed and Spilled beats Antidote, Posion
Jesus could annilhate anything except Nonexistence of God
Nonexistence of God beats Jesus
Scissors cuts up Santa and Paper.
Rudolph beats Jesus.
Santa beats Rudolph.
Thatcher beats Unions, Scythes (of world workers), Union Strikes (presumably)
Realism beats Perfection, SDLG SDLG II, Giant Robots, Spore, Santa, Rudloph
Spore beats realism, jesus, santa
Complete Arbitrarity beats everything except Perfection, including Aliens
Lack of rational rules beats everything listed so far except Complete Arbitrarity
Anarchy beats Lack of rational rules
Despotism beats Anarchy
Monarchy beats Despotism (because it is more stable)
Democracy beats Monarchy
George W. Bush beats Democracy and underfunds bureaucrats
Iran-backed Gurellias beat George W Bush
Giant robots beat Iran-backed Gurellias
EMP beats Giant robots, SLDG, SLDG II, Solar Panels
Organic life beats EMP
The Flood beats Organic life, Iran-backed Guerillas, George W. Bush, and anything else with sufficient biomass to sustain the flood
The Arbiter and Master Chief beat the flood and George W. Bush
Guy with gun shoots Perfection, Guy with Knife
Rogue stabs guy with gun and Perfection in the back
Policeman arrests Rouge
Guy with knife kills Policeman, George W. Bush, and Children, in their sleep
Forum Admins can ban Perfection, Choxorn, anybody on these forums
Forum's Founder can sack Forum Admins
Power outage prevents Forum Admins from coming online to ban anybody
Power generators give power while power outages are happening
Carp beats Dwarf, drags Bureaucrats into the water and nibble them to death
Fisherman beats Carp
Bureaucrats ban Fisherman and Hunters
Choxorn breaks all copies of Dwarf Fortress in the world, and delete it from all computers, hence no more carps.
Elephants beat Botmurdered and eat Carp and trample Bureaucrats
Hunters beat Elephants
Barney beats Perfection, Love
Love beats all (except Barney)
 
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