1) I, NinjaCow64, rally the 7th and 12th Biker Squad, the 1st Parliamentary Guards Regiment and the 1st Police Battalion for one final assault against the 9th Psychic Company.
2) The Biker Gangs attacking Sydney will pull back and instead perform hit-and-run attacks against any forces Yuri tries to start moving towards Canberra.
3) The Saberist Priesthood are sadly used to this phenomenon. They prepare themselves to be put on hold, but ideally not for very long.
4) Darth Alexis will turn his attention to recruiting segway enthusiasts into Segway Battalions for the defence of Canberra.
11 (15): Unable to break out of encirclement, the trespassers are ruthlessly gunned down by 30% strength, suffering -1 combat as unit cohesion breaks. However, bringing the capital’s entire professional fighting force into a confined area of operations is just begging for an offshore missile strike.
ROLL TO DODGE!
9 (13): Fortunately the Time Shield holds and the warheads detonate harmlessly far out of effective range.
12: The gangs begin a fighting retreat to whittle down the oncoming forces, and will remain in Attack Mode as long as their morale holds out.
16: Annnnnnny minute now...
7 (8): Unfortunately, average citizens are far less willing to risk their lives against B-movie hypno-freaks than you thought: for $8000 and 30 pop. you’re able to levy a single platoon, but between learning to tactical Segway and Darth Alexis's unique "expertise", the reinforcements suffer an additional -1 combat penalty.
Prime Action: have Leon II attempt to make a truce with Caron the Terrible under agreement that the crusaders in Italy and the Greek ambition would threaten both dragons and minotaurs, thus making it illogical for Majterre and Caron to fight each other when a threat that would seek to strike down all non-human sentience arises in Italy.
Administrative Action: make a new law declaring that north-west Italy is now part of the Majterre Empire in it order to protect the realm from the evils of the crusading theocracy to the south.
*
roll*
Leon attempts parley.
19 (6): Maybe Leon wasn't such a good pick for negotiations: your continued inability to back him up not only fails to persuade Caron that Majterre is worth backing in the first place, but Leon himself is starting to question whether submitting to Greece wouldn't solve this all a lot less messily. Anyway, the dragon tries to eat him.
ROLL TO DODGE!
15 (14): AWW YEE BOSS FIGHT! Leo slap-chops that impudent wyrm for 16 damage.
Action: Try not to do anything
2: The spirit of Science cannot afford itself a single nanosecond of inaction! Unable to quell your instinct to examine, to
experiment, to
innovate, you end up multitasking something awful and pull a muscle for 12 damage and -1 physical defence.
Action: grab myself a sniper rifle (if i don't already have one.)
17: You cash in your complimentary Militia Kit voucher to pick up an HK417 and four spare mags, gaining +4 ranged attack.
Action One: I'm going to send a strongly worded letter to Thorvald about the nuances of
Labor credits, and how his event makes no sense for a nation that doesn't rely on a capitalist market
Action Two: While I'm waiting for everyone to get into DC, mind as well start charging another spirit bomb. Worked out well the last time. :3
6: Thorvald patiently replies that how was he to know you'd intended to completely transform the national goods exchange paradigm over the course of R2D, especially one that would be totally incongruous with the various economic modifiers you had acquired during play? To this end, it would be the height of self-entitlement to retroactively claim exemption from the game's basic economic framework when you barely managed a passing roll on signup. -1 economy from confusion over how Namibian markets are actually supposed to be functioning right now.
17: You begin prepping the Spirit Bomb, ETA 4 turns, thanks to the generous "donation" of the Antonopoulos cabinet's own health. (christos200, Milo, Bannon and Rand Paul lose 10 hitpoints.)
Become Irish. Using all means at our disposal we will try to fabricate for ourselves Irish passports, catholic identities, and Guinness drinking habits before trying to work our way into the administration of the Irish free State.
9: Construction paper, calligraphy pens and decorative sparkles might work for a mock school project, but you're pretty sure this won't pass the smell test at customs. At least you tried this
before getting smashed.
1. President Gustavsson will ride on the waves of this grand endorsement and call his very good Finnish friend Kurra Nollayhdeksän who works for the Finnish government to ask about the prospects of all of "unclaimed" Finland joining the other Finns who already live in Norrland-Sápmi by uniting the two countries. Surely the Finnish people will listen to the voice of reason that is Marxism-Leninism-Thorvaldism.
2. This thing called "magic" that is tormenting continental Europe is nothing but yet another way for the aristocracy and bourgeoisie to oppress the working peoples of the world. We don't want none of that in Norrland-Sápmi - ban it.
13: Understandably, the surviving government is hesitant to hitch its wagon when the prospect of a Swedish war hangs over the peninsula, but Nollayhdeksän strongly hints that a Second Kiruna Accord would probably be received favourably down the line. +1 diplomacy with
Helsinki Provisional Government, which now owns the south.
7: If religion is the opiate of the masses, then folklore must be the ecstasy. The small but self-assured supernatural community of the Russo-Finnish frontier did not take kindly to its sudden outlaw status, and is now staging protests. Fortunately the movement does not appear affiliated with Majterrorism... yet. (-5% wealth taxable from protest action near Soađegilli.)
Commission another Victory Class Star Destroyer.
4: You were already scraping the barrel to meet the last order—turns out building
another city-sized death triangle is a bit beyond the humble means of the Godzone. -$68 million, -$2400 wealth taxable and -2 to industrial production from supply shortages; estimated time to completion: 40 turns.
Free Action: Let's get on with this, Namibia! We accept their proposal.
Personal Action #1: Lead the army on their way!
Action #1: If they are counteracting our memes, then we must counter-act their counter-acting memes, by creating virulent subversions of their counters. Memes, dressed in the typical racist framing, only to be actually hitting the target's core beliefs in the racist foundations of this "country", making the people consuming them think about what they believe. And once they do, they shall be w o k e, and therefore, on our side.
Action #2: We have a target to pursue. The Little Bighorn battlefield of the past shall be our future. On the march!
*
roll*
You lead the army.
6: Meme Man is never late, nor is he early: he arrives exactly when he intends to. This apparently means a lot of dead-ends and doubling back through the mountains, and when you finally make it through to the other side the boys are tired, hungry, and missing some of their kit. But hey, as Calvin's Dad would say, these experiences build character! 1st Marine Brigade, 2nd Mechanized Brigade, 1st Armored Battalion and 2nd Artillery Battalion lose 8% strength.
*
roll*
You meme on those memers.
5 (2): The fanatic may always be concealing a secret doubt, but that only means he's that much more eager to latch on to confirmation bias. Being too ignorant and/or wilfully blind to acknowledge the satirical subtext, Government loyalists are instead further assured that their cause is right. All USA forces gain +2 morale and +2 loyalty.
Action One: Dispatch HMS Fenton to land the SPD in Spain.
Action Two: There is a lot of magic in the world today and we could stand to learn a little more about it. Put an ad in the paper for an expert on the matter. [MUST BE VETTED BY THE CIVIL SERVICE BEFORE MEETING PRIME MINISTER].
Action Three: Extend asylum to political refugees for next five turns.
15: Between Schulz's eagerness to set sail and your eagerness to get rid of him, embarkation proceeds with ruthless
German BRITISH efficiency, and the leading delegation should reach the continent by next turn.
4: The trouble with crowdsourcing a commission on something as ill-codified as supernatural forces is that unless one is part of the 'in' group, it's immensely difficult to sift out the experts from the 'experts' until they've already made it into Whitehall. -$60,000 from time and energy wasted on amateur enthusiasts, and auto-fail further attempts to procure expertise for the next three turns. On the plus side, processing the backlog should keep Sir Humphrey out of your hair...
17: Bring ye their tired, their poor, their huddled masses yearning to breathe free—and as one of the few countries with a) open borders and b) no active conflict in immediate proximity, rest assured, they will come. +5 refugee desirability for next five turns, and immediate departures from Majterre and the USA.
The cult shall now expand into the surrounding unclaimed area, while the prophet reads up on a guide to improve interdimensional summonings.
15 (+1 [Know the Mods, Know Thyself] =
16): Your disciples fan out to secure a land buffer, bringing the city of Wuwei under Minimalist aegis, and with it, $1300 wealth taxable.
18 (+1 [Know the Mods, Know Thyself] =
19): Picking up a copy of Ritual Summoning for Dummies, you school yourself in avoiding all the common mistakes that would result in the accidental influx of hentaibeasts and other nonsense. +3 to ritual summoning.
While we keep trading and getting wealthy, we will officially adopt the
new Khmer theme from civ6 as our national anthem!
6: Unfortunately, Communications Director Jill Civet just wasn't
feeling it that particular day, and when finally arsed to finish the paperwork, spat out so many typos that Spell Check committed suicide. The result was a clerical error that... well...
you got this instead. -1 morale and -1 influence.
In the latest display of savagery in the ongoing American civil war, a refugee convoy was ambushed by retreating state paramilitaries near the Virginia–North Carolina border, resulting in the slaughter of two hundred civilians as the attackers looted the convoy for supplies. News of the incident has sparked international condemnation and outrage throughout the United States; riots in Detroit have intensified with attacks on the local garrison, while the city of Charlotte, North Dakota has declared "independence" from Washington, levying a city militia to guard against similar Redcap attacks.
Further marring President Antonopoulos's standing, a breakout offensive by the Washington garrison ended in catastrophic defeat. While government spokesmen continue to deny that the capital is in jeopardy, insider sources suggest remaining forces no longer have the strength for offensive action in the foreseeable future. Without fresh reinforcements, the garrison will likely be overwhelmed by the expected fresh Namibian assault.
Meanwhile, Denver rebels are growing increasingly concerned over the lack of a concrete strategy from headquarters, particularly given the US Army is starting to respond in force.
JamesCaesar loses 10% approval. Redcaps convey -1 morale and -1 loyalty to nearby USA regular forces; Charlotte degenerates into Revolt (-4 stability, -5 statecraft, -10% wealth taxable); christos200 loses 15% approval.
Raqqa Declares Jihad on Rationalia
The sham peace in the Middle East finally evaporated as today Islamic Jihal'QaISIS announced a state of holy war against the "atheistic and infidelic" regime of Rationalia, with frontline troops taking offensive positions at the border to the technocratic republic. Egypt and Istanbul have issued statements of condemnation against the terrorist group and have vowed to investigate "all measures" to curtail the threat. For now, however, Baghdad looks poised to suffer the onslaught alone. Isn't there some saying about not learning your history..?
Whither the Volksroll?
The political culture of the Volksreich has been likened to an infinitely complex machine with all its gears exposed, lying under an autumn oak. While hitherto the Beliebte Front alliance has bridged common cause between the country's numerous leftist factions and the KSP, the delicate minutiae of the European political situation is jamming errant leaves between the teeth. Long-simmering debates of unity versus diversity, militarism versus pacifism, and monarchy versus republicanism are once more bubbling to the fore, while Majterre's petition for support has emboldened the fringe MRP, which in lieu of the outlawed Nationaldemokratische Partei has become a rallying flag for right-wing authoritarianism. The result is parliamentary deadlock over competing visions both for foreign policy and
Gesellschaft as a whole, that may ultimately only be broken by the Kaiserin taking a side, and thereby setting a precedent. The Volksreich
will roll out, eventually—the question is whether the Coalition will survive, or if Crown intervention will push the empire into ideological extremism.
Volksreich der Frau is now an NPC.
Britain Welcomes Refugees "With Open Arms"
In response to escalating friction worldwide, the British government is making an ambitious outreach to political refugees, adopting a temporary protocol to fast-track the asylum process. The initiative has already received hundreds of applications, mainly from the embattled United States, but also many Majterran subjects fearful that Empress Esther's bellicose attitude in foreign relations may soon turn to ideological persecution at home.
(USA loses 1% wealth taxable from increased refugee outflow.)
Schulz Expects "Full Support" from Spain
As the vanguard of the SPD sets sail for Iberia, Martin Schulz expressed confidence in the venture, stating that he expects to receive "full support" from local authorities in refurbishing Madrid as headquarters for the European Project. While JoanK could not be reached for comment on account of still being dead, reaction on the ground has been largely positive, with locals welcoming Schulz's intervention as an eleventh-hour check on Majterran expansionism, which was rumoured to be eyeing the peninsula.
Egypt Joins Cretan Blockade
Cairo's contempt for Faxum and its allies is well-known, and Egypt's petition to join the Greek-led blockade of Crete was expected by many. While relations with Djibouti have eased following Faxum's recent territorial concessions, Egyptian authorities have expressed "grave concern" over the Cretan crisis and its impact on Mediterranean stability. Experts believe Egypt's support of the quarantine is motivated by a desire to see the island removed from the Majterran sphere of influence to prevent a staging ground for future actions in Africa: while the Faxumite–Majterran Imperial Relations Agreement is not a formal military alliance, Empress Esther's statements during the border dispute strongly suggested Paris would intervene on Djibouti's behalf.
"Corporate Faxum Will Be Brought to Heel": Emperor
Emperor Tani has left no ambiguity on Faxum's response to the recent corporate secessions, denouncing the breakaway territory as "bandits and mutineers" that "will be brought back into the warm embrace of the body politic, willingly or otherwise". The Emperor's uncharacteristically tough stance is welcomed after the national embarrassment of the Egyptian border dispute, but observers question whether the state has the strength to back up the threat: the defections have seized most of Faxum’s heavy equipment that is calculated to give the rebels advantage in a war of attrition, and a "sudden strike" may be the only chance of seizing the initiative. Djibouti is expected to appeal to Majterre for aid, but with Paris entangled in the Crete fiasco and Egypt hostile to both parties, Empress Esther's ability to deliver remains unclear.
Faxumite Empire is now an NPC.
Government Forces Routed near Mbuji-Mayi
Overwhelmed by the Yuri-backed southern rebels, Congolese government forces have broken ranks and are retreating to the provisional capital. With the President having failed to even acknowledge the unfolding crisis, confidence in the government is slipping, with fears that continued inaction will entice other rebel groups to similar violent assertions.
(All Congolese government forces lose 1 morale; CivCube loses 10% approval.)
Naples Refuses Jeanne
The Heretics' Crusade encountered its first fumble as Neapolitan authorities refused Jeanne's call-to-arms, stating French affairs are of no concern to the locals so long as Italy is not a recognized state. Having been denied proper quarter, the army had little choice but to march on—but this lack of basic material accommodation will indubitably take its toll on the pilgrim soldiers.
Sea Monster Sighted off Falklands
With the British government refusing to capitulate, the Psi Corps has stepped up its game, RELEASING THE KRAKEN upon the HMS
Lazuli, the only naval asset in the region. Satellite imagery of amphibious landing craft leaving from the Antarctic Peninsula suggest the attack is a precursor to a ground assault in the latest escalation of Yuri's bid for world domination.
Antarctic Drilling?
Seismologists report a steady stream of subsurface vibrations radiating from the Albanian bunker complex in Antarctica. While the tremors are regarded as non-threatening, Hoxha has categorically denied that they are the result of an extensive mining initiative to bootstrap Albanian industry in preparation for the coming war with the Psi Corps.
Ài "LMAO"s at Double A
Empress Ren has announced that she is unilaterally nullifying any and all outstanding debt to the Lord of the Lakes, stating that as Qingdao has no visible territorial border with Double A's holdings, it therefore has no obligation to pay usage fees for a non-existent service. This the first direct challenge to the sea dragon's freshwater quasi-monopoly is seen as a major blow to the World Lakes' legal status, with the pseudostate having failed to collect its fees for some time.
(Empire of Ài no longer subject to Lake Usage Fee and Kougyoku Ren gains 5% approval; -1 to Word Lakes Private Reserve casus belli.)
Road Accident in Downtown Istanbul
A pedestrian received minor injuries after a car jumped the sidewalk at Taksim Square and sideswiped him. The driver is currently being investigated, while the victim has remained non-responsive despite quickly returning to his feet. An eyewitness reported that the pedestrian, who is a Greek tourist, "had been standing there motionless for hours. It's getting kind of creepy."
(Mathalamus suffers 10 damage.)
Notes from the GM
I would like to sincerely thank you the players for sticking with me in what is probably my greatest failure as Game Moderator since not kicking Dommy from IOT4. As frustrating as it is to update this thing, there's yet a karmic sense of bliss that descends when I'm writing the final briefing, and so long as there's interest, I'll keep pushing this sucker as long as I can.
I've got another Busy Week(end) but luckily that only takes effect tomorrow, so
orders due Tuesday next.
