Should I be concerned about my lack of contact/experience with girls?

[Elrohir]

Good advice people.
Disturbingly similar to what the school chaplain says but still good advice.

Advice that you get from adults like that often sounds weird, but it's often good, as well. Every adult was a kid once, and if you pick their brains, then you can learn a lot. Just be careful, and think critically about what they say too, because a lot of morons managed to survive to adulthood too.

No. Their culture usually tells the men and women how to behave with each other. It's a difficult concept for someone from a Western POV, I know, but it's true.

And Eastern cultures don't tell men and women how to behave with each other? Says Mr. "I want an Arranged Marriage."

 

[happy_Alex]

No. Their culture usually tells the men and women how to behave with each other. It's a difficult concept for someone from a Western POV, I know, but it's true.

This might come as a shock to you, but our culture has lots of rituals and structures that tell men and women how to behave with each other.

 

[Eran of Arcadia]

Every culture does.

 

[Furiey]

Don't worry about it. Be comfortable with who you are rather that who you think people (girls) expect you to be. You may not get the quantity of girls that the players get, but it's finding that person who wants you for you (and vice versa) that's important in the long run.

 

[happy_Alex]

Don't worry about it. Be comfortable with who you are rather that who you think people (girls) expect you to be. You may not get the quantity of girls that the players get, but it's finding that person who wants you for you (and vice versa) that's important in the long run.

that's good advice.


'Players' in my experience are storing up a load of problems for the future. He might want to get married in the future and start a family. Having being in the habit of having many parteners may make it more difficult to maintain a monogomous relationship which is arguably the best way t make this happen, at least in terms of genetic propogation.

 

[Narz]

I didn't get any real play until I was 19 and in college.

No worries, just be confident and pursue your hobbies & goals instead of girls. You'll get yours eventually.

 

[LucyDuke]

I don't find it hard to talk to girls in non-social situation, At work, I can ask my female co-workers how their day was, how busy work tonight was and other work related questions.

That says you've got nothing to worry about.

Don't try too hard. She's just as human as you are.

 

[Fugitive Sisyphus]

My advice... don't talk about communism at 16. Even if you have researched it thoroughly and have carefully formed opinions on the subject, people will either:

a) Think you're a bore.
b) Think you're just a rebel without a clue.

Well my experience is that the communists to better with the ladies than the free marketers do. It just isn't as sexy to be a cold-hearted conservative than a bleeding-heart liberal.

 

[Stylesjl]

I'm 17 and at an all boys school and I don't care that i haven't had a girlfriend. Maybe later when I get around to it.......

 

[Nylan]

Relax, don't worry about it. The right kind of girls will come to you. Be yourself (of course still try to be civil and avoid annoying the heck out of them) and girls who like you for who you are will come. I'd rather have someone love me for me than for trying hard to be someone else that they'd like better.

And being me is working out just fine

 

[aneeshm]

And Eastern cultures don't tell men and women how to behave with each other? Says Mr. "I want an Arranged Marriage."

Uhh....... I said I don't really want an arranged marriage. And I also said that many cultures from structured societies, such as those found here, ritualise the entire interaction.

 

[Abaddon]

start smoking... that will get the girls

 

[Elrohir]

Uhh....... I said I don't really want an arranged marriage. And I also said that many cultures from structured societies, such as those found here, ritualise the entire interaction.

But I believe you said an arranged marriage was "a possibility". Aneeshm, every society, bar none, has lots of traditional crap when dealing with the subject of dating, or courtship. If there are people in a society, and they have romantic feelings for each other, then there are going to be rituals and normal ways of going about expressing them, or gaining a spouse.

 

[Furiey]

start smoking... that will get the girls

Yuck - no!

 

[ComradeDavo]

start smoking... that will get the girls

 

[Abaddon]

Yuck - no!

Love how one of you took the bait

 

[happy_Alex]

Don't forget to start drinking too. This will make you charming and witty and make even the most hideous trolls seem tasty.

 

[Irish Caesar]

No worries; I think LucyDuke said it as well as anyone else.

I meet all those criterion, except 3 and 4. And I'm 19. And unworried.

I always thought you were much older; I'm not used to people around my own age being so interested and knowledgeable in their culture's traditions!

 

[Mizar]

Platonic friendships with guys, and girls even usually last longer than most romantic relationships

This is certainly true. I have almost as much female friends than male ones, and some of those friendships now last more than 15 years, they will probably last forever. As some people already stated, the trick is to make no difference when talking/interacting with guys and girls.

 

[Furiey]

Unfortunately I have heard starting smoking given as real advice, it was often said when I was at school. Luckily I didn't take the bait then.