With Fat Cathy now only a memory, it was time for Theodora and her (so far) capable Monkey Generalisimo to take stock of the empire. As the monkey general found the last time he assumed command, markh had left things running smoothly. With four lux now on line, no extra income was required for the Byzantine citizen's beer fund. Many former citizens of Russia were plowing fields and digging mines for future Byzantine development. A few cities were tweaked to foster growth without sacrificing science or commerce. Our armed forces, who had so bravely ground the Russians into hamburgers (with fries) were in good shape, but there were too few of them -- only 7 horses, 5 cats, 1 sword, 3 warriors, 4 archers, 14 spearmen, and 1 dromon (the terror of the seas) stood between the Byzantines and the new threat.
The Inca.
Expansionist, Agricultural, and with very poor personal hygine, the Inca would no doubt prove to be a challange.
Monkey Generalisimo felt up to this challenge.
It was not yet time to contemplate an overseas invasion. Many more dromons would have to be built in our harbors before that would be possible. No, the job for now was simply to drive the Inca off our shores and to keep them off until the day came for Theodora to set foot (size 6) on the Inca continent and make it hers.
Preflight Move our new leader towards Chalcedon, the site of our future Forbidden Palace. Though Chalcedon lacks fresh water, it does have a fine cow, many hills, and access to one of Brusa's bg tiles. Not too far and not too close to Con, our ancient capital. It would have really been nice for it to have had an iron mine in the neighborhood, just for the ridiculously remote odds that coal would have appeared there eventually as well, giving us the much-desired, seldom-accomplished FP/Iron Works combo. Oh well.
Odds are likely that the Inca are going to land hostile troops up north in the recently liberated Russian lands. At least that's where I'd land them. It's the closest to Incaland, and our forces up there are a bit thin. A couple of cities are, in fact, completely ungarrisoned. I move our army up north to await developments there. Leaving an inland city or two up there unguarded is a pretty good way to keep the Inca landings in a limited area. We will not neglect to have a welcoming party waiting.
Shift some other troops to clean out the one spot that keeps this from being a purely Byzantine continent.
And I take the risk of pushing our first dromon into trecherous waters. Time to make new "friends."
Ah, as I suspected.
By the rules of our varient, our Byzantine sailors empty their garbage pails into Spanish waters, pop open some beers, and, in the name of the mighty Theodora, declare war.
Funny, Isabella was already furious before we even knocked on her door. Wonder if Cathy was sending her postcards before all mail service from Russian was terminated.
IBT The Inca longbow tries his luck against an AC up on a hill. His luck is not good. (1-0) Two Inca galleys show up outside Vladivastok, which is not exactly where I was expecting them. Why do the Inca insist on toying with me?
Isabella runs around with her hands in the air and gobbles like a turkey.
Oh, and our bold dromon actually sinks off the Spanish coast.

Come on, we're seafaring, for goodness sake.
260AD Our mounted killers sweep towards Huanuco Pampa. A lucky shot from an Incan longbow takes down one horseman, but his fellow slays a spear and promotes to elite, and the AC finish off the remaining defenders. (4-1) Our continent is now ours alone. I rename HP.
Move troops to give the Inca a big hello when they land next turn.
IBT The two Inca galleys turn tail, then a third shows up and drops off ... a single horseman. It is to laugh. Ha hah.
Inca cat takes a shot at our dinky boat as it sails by, but the Inca shore patrol have been dipping into the grog a little too early in the morning for good marksmanship.
270AD Our AC on duty makes short work of the Inca horse. He keeps the scalp. (5-1)
Our dinky boat out on patrol also sees dark blue borders. Could it be time to invite the Koreans to come and play next turn?
IBT Well, the good news is that a very quick construction job is now complete.
That's quite a nice thing. But do you see what happens when a monkey's not paying attention?
Should have known they'd go after that unguarded incense. Well, this will not last.
280AD Move troops to get rid of this blight on our shores.
Monarchy due next turn. I crank down the volume on reseach and fire some scientists for just one turn.
Oh yeah, and we declare war on the Koreans.
IBT Three Spanish galleys swoop down right next to our dinky boat. We may not be doing much sea exploration for a bit.
290AD Monarchy comes in. We're not quite ready yet to give up the despot's throne, so I put off our revolution. Set research to Literature in 6 while still pulling in 2gpt.
Shift troops. Not ready to kill anybody yet.
Figure the only safe place for our dinky boat is out in the deep ocean. Even if he sinks there, I won't give Isabella the satisfaction.
IBT Not much. Our dinky boat doesn't sink. There are lots of galleys outside this new Inca incursion on our shores. Suspect they're landing troops. We shall see.
300AD More moving and sharpening swords.
IBT Lots of Inca galleys sail around, but nobody lands that I can see.
310AD Use blazing dromon fire to soften up Tambowhatchamacallit. We damage a galley parked inside the city harbor, leaving the pikeman unharmed.

Put off the assault for another turn.
Build Iconium near our western iron hill. Figure that's where the AI would love to plant another city.
IBT Korea build's Sun Tzu's chinese restaurant. Inca sightseers sail by.
320AD More of the same. Cats are now in position to take out Tambowhatever next turn. Our dinky boat still sails the deep ocean, mocking the feeble Spanish sailors.
IBT I suspect that Inca are trying to land troops somewhere, but they haven't come out of the fog yet.
330AD Dromon takes a nice little piece out of an Inca galley on our west coast. Sail on. Gotta get over to Incaland to start stripping improvements.
Our other dromon crisps the pikeman in Tambowambo and yellowlines him. Cats ping the spear. Army finishes off the pike, elite AC takes down the spear, and vet AC takes out the longbow. (10-1) Guess Inca were landing troops there after all. I keep the city, since it went up to 2 pop and it's where we were going to place a city anyway. Thanks, Inca dude.
Our dinky boat is still riding high. Spanish are right next to it but won't touch it.
IBT The Inca finally land a more serious invasion force than a single horse: 1 reg archer, 1 reg longbow, 1 reg pike, 1 vet medinf, and 1 vet knight. They're in easy reach of Vladivostok (1 spear) and Naissus (nobody home). Will have to move some units fast to cover us down there.
340AD Resistance in Inca Stinka finally comes to an end, so I set it to starve. I have no patience with these Inca folk. Move troops in a desparate scramble to cover our butts near the Inca invasion. I also notice a galley way up north near Orenburg, so send an AC up there to prevent mayhem.
IBT Spanish attack our dinky boat with a galley and we sink the galley. (11-1) That little dinky boat rawks!

Inca send their main troops towards Moscow, which I left open to tempt them, but their knight proves too much for our single spear guarding Vladivostok. (11-2)
Literature comes in. Set to CoL in 4.
Looks like the Inca got themselves some Knights Templar.
350AD AC takes out the knight that took Vlad. (12-2) Inca must have rushed spear instantly, so we don't have it back yet.
I leave the rest of the troops unmoved and ready for action. Some fancy shifting should let the next better player tear up the rest of the Inca when they move onto the flatland outside Moscow next turn. Not sure where they're going to land after that. I tried to pump out plenty of settlers so we could minimize coastline hiding in the dark. One dromon is over on the Inca continent but hasn't managed to pillage anything yet. Many troops are over in the west. Bank account is healthy at 183g plus 19gpt. We're still despots for the time being. Dunno what else to say. Here's where the fighting's going to be.
Hope I left things in as good a shape as when I found them (well, except for that whole losing Vladivostok thing). The most irritating thing is not knowing where the Inca are going to pop up next. This annoys me. Why don't they call ahead first?
Ah well, here's the
>>SAVE<<.
The roster is:
goz - ON DECK
Andronicus - reduced Cathy to a spear and an archer and got us two lux and iron
markh - killed Fat Cathy and got us our second leader
SimpleMonkey - invited Spain and Korea to join the party
classical hero - UP!