SINES: Age of Conflict Reborn

[silver 2039]

Update 2 2005 2nd Annual
TNS
International News

Once again this is Tachyon News Service bringing you news faster than the speed of light!
Our correspondents from all over the world will inform you of what matters to you!
Also we would like to address rumors that have been circulating that our director was feared dead or injured in an accident. We assure you our director simply had trouble getting to work for the past two days as well as his computer ceased to work. These fears and rumors are unfounded. Whoever started these rumors will be charged with slander.

Argentina-Chile Unify!

It had been negotiated for the last six months and now it finally happened. The communist governments of Argentina and Chile unified their nations, militaries, and economies. In the words of the Chilean leader
“We must present a united front to the capitalist pig-dogs who seek to undermine the glorious workers revolution”
(+1 eco level, +15 Infantry divisions, +10 Battleships, +10 Fighter-Bomber air wings)

Needless to say this event will be good for both the people of Argentina and Chile. Now to our South American correspondent who is live in Buenos Aries.

“Thank you Chris, the mood is rather festive here today in Buenos Aries with people who have been celebrating all last night after the unification was announced the champagne is really flowing freely and people are quite dunk. Even the dogs and llamas are drunk it’s really quite incredibly. As you can see behind me people are going quite crazy stripping in the streets and having wild sex orgies. Certainly not what you would expect from a communist government to say the least. Anyway back to you Chris.”

Argentina and Chile were not the only countries that unified.

UIR and Arabia merge!

We go now to our Middle Eastern correspondent in Baghdad capital of the United Islamic Republic.

“Talks of unification between the two oil rich states the Arabian Confederation and the United Islamic Republic had been going on for a long time. Now finally they seem to have concluded.
It has been decided the new state will be called the United Islamic Confederation with the political capital in Baghdad and the religious capital in Mecca. After the unification was announced the people rather than partying like Argentina instead went to the mosque and worshipped ten times today instead of the requisite five.

Rather dull if I may say so. Needless to say however that this unification makes The United Islamic Confederation the largest and certainly the most powerful nation in the Middle East. It looks as if Egypt has a rival for the status of being the cultural-economic center of the Muslim World. It will be interesting to see how this plays out. Wolf Blister reporting”
(+1 eco level, +15 Infantry divisions, +5 Battleships, +10 Fighter-Bomber air wings)

Breaking News! Brazil Declares War on Argentina!

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to bring you this breaking news.
Analysts suspected it was coming. It was unlikely the Brazil would stand for Argentina’s invasion of Paraguay, which it considered a vital buffer state.
In a speech made by the Brazilian President to Congress

“It is my dearest regret that I must ask Congress to declare war upon the Socialists Regime of Argentina. They have launched an unprovoked attack on the Republic of Paraguay with an announcement that Paraguay had been supplying rebels in Argentina and had no substantial evidence to back it up. Their wave of aggression will not end at Paraguay, their atrocities are too numerous to mention, and they have inflicted around 30 thousand civilian casualties and have destroyed the homes of many. The Infantry Division going on trial is but a mere farce, to put all the blame on the lowly infantrymen and not the ones on the top. If we do nothing, the Red Menace that is Argentina, and I once more will consume all of South America reiterate. I ask Congress to declare war upon the Socialists Regime of Argentina.” –Speech by President Alexander Lula

Reprinted without permission

Congress authorized a declaration of war to “liberate Paraguay and neutralize the threat of Argentina to Brazil.
Thus began Operation I Hate Toons

First the government began calling for recruits and many eager young men went to recruiting stations to fight for Brazil.
(+5 Volunteer divisions)

The Argentine embassy is Brasilia was seized and ambassadors held hostages. Brazilian ambassadors in Argentina, East Timbuktu, and Iberia quickly destroyed all-important documents and left on the first flights out of the country.

The war started with an audacious naval campaign launched by Brazil. Submarines traveled down Parana River toward the Argentine capital. The Argentines were on high alert having suspected a Brazilian attack but they were surprised to find submarines. The attack came before dawn and there was little the Argentines could do against submarines.
The Argentine battleships were patrolling near the coast when the first torpedo streaked through the water and slammed into a ship. Many Argentine battleships were lost while the submarines were unscathed.
(-4 Argentine Battleships)

This attack was followed up with the entire Brazilian Navy sailing out to sea and engaging the Argentine fleet outside Buenos Aries. A fierce naval battle ensued with ships trading fire and shells crashing into the ocean sending huge jets of water into the air. Casualties were heavy on both sides and our South American correspondent who was in Buenos Aries covering the unification has managed to take these images.

The battle lasted until after dawn at which point the Brazilian submarines had resupplied and returned and were able to wipe out most of the Argentine fleet. The remaining ships retreated further south.
(-6 Brazilian battleships, -8 Argentine battleships)

Having secured the seas the airborne phase of the operation was launched. 10 Fighter-Bomber air wings attacked at low altitudes trying to avoid detection. Fortifications in and around Buenos Aries were struck and scenes reminiscent of the bombing of Paraguay occurred.
(-2 Argentine Infantry division)

Then eight divisions of Infantry poured across the border crossing the river with motorboats. Argentine fortifications were attacked and fierce infantry battles occurred at the border. The Argentines had been well prepared for a Brazilian attack and in some places hand-to-hand fighting occurred. Brazil had superior numbers and airpower but the Argentines were fighting for their homeland. Every single Argentine soldier fought fanatically to the last man.
(-4 Argentine divisions, -5 Brazilian divisions)

Having broken through Argentine defenses at the border Brazilian forces circled around at attacked Buenos Aries from the rear catching the Argentines off guard. However they quickly overcame their surprise and street battles occurred once again reminiscent of Paraguay.

The Argentines were feeling particularly bloody-minded and obstinate and the Brazilians were forced to fight for every street and building. In the end it was Brazilian airpower that won the day. The Argentine air force had all been stationed in Paraguay and was unable to lend its support. Forces from Chile could not reach in time either and as a result the Brazilian air force was free to reduce entire streets to rubble where it was suspected Argentine troops were hiding.
(-2 Argentine Infantry divisions –1 Brazilian Infantry division)

Buenos Aries fell but just barely the Brazilians were by the skin of their teeth.

Forces from Chile were called up and began traveling as fast as possible to reach the front. However due to lack of instructions they simply stopped at forward bases and are awaiting orders on how to proceed. The Brazilian forces on this front are mostly exhausted and need reinforcements to push any further or hold the territory against an Argentine counter- attack.

 

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Brazil Launches Operation to liberate Paraguay!

The liberation of Paraguay has begun! 15 air wings took off from airbases and crossed into Argentine occupied Paraguay supplemented by infantry and tank divisions advancing on the capital.
Things did not go well from the start.

The entire Argentine air force was based in Paraguay and on high alert. The Brazilian aircrafts were immediately detected and Argentine planes scrambled to deal with them.

Massive air battles took place over the skies of Paraguay. Both were equally matched in numbers and the dogfights turned into a slugfest as missile streaked through the skies. Large amounts of planes on both sides were lost but in the end it was the Argentines that won due to their closer bases and faster resupply forcing the Brazilian planes to retreat unable to break Argentine airpower in the region. The high state of readiness of the Argentines clearly won the day as well.
(-10 Brazilian Fighter-Bomber air wings, -8 Argentine Fighter-Bomber air wings)

The Brazilian ground forces lacked any air cover and air support and were free to attack by Argentine planes.
(-.5 Tank Brazilian divisions, -.5 Infantry Brazilian division)

The remaining Brazilian forces attempted to outflank Asuncion but quickly came into contact with the Argentines. Vicious fighting ground battles involving tanks and infantry occurred which brought scenes of World War II to the minds of many. The fighting was bloody with no quarter. The Brazilian advance into Argentine occupied Paraguay was halted.
(-1 Brazilian Tank divisions, -3 Brazilian Infantry divisions, -5 Argentine Infantry divisions)

The Brazilians broadcast radio messages ordering people to stay at home so they would be safe. At the same time the Argentines were launching a propaganda campagain in Paraguay to promote their rule.

At this point all seems quiet with neither side making a move. In both Brazil and Argentina the recruiting stations are overrun with volunteers willing to fight. However the Argentine people are more nationalistic and are up in arms over the Brazilian invasion. The Brazilian embassy in Argentina is looted but found empty.
(+5 Brazilian Volunteer divisions, +15 Argentine Volunteer Divisions)

World War III in the making?

Who would have thought that WWIII might start in South America? Very few no doubts but it looks as if that might be the case.
I’m here a defense analyst Monty Burns who will tell us his view Mr. Burns?

“Thank you Chris, as all of you know Argentina is a communist country while Brazil is a democracy. Both have fought wars before and both are rivals for regional power in South America. The recent Argentine invasion of Paraguay upset that balance of power removing a nation Brazil considered a vital buffer state. As a result Brazil has intervened, however the major mistake they made is that they didn’t go in with enough strength. In all major battles fought so far in the war Brazilian and Argentine numbers were more or less equal. For any decisive war to be fought one side must have greater strength than the other side.
Currently both Brazil and Argentina are more or less matched. Even with the amalgamation of Chile into Argentina the overall power balance has not changed that much. Both countries can invade each other but it is likely neither will get very far. So if the war is restrained to just Argentina and Brazil there is no danger. However it is very likely that the USA will lend its support to Brazil, which in turn means NATO, may get involved. Them Iberia, East Timbuktu, and Congo could get involved turning this into a very dangerous situation.”
Thank you Mr. Burns


Paraguayan Dictator caught with pants down

The dictator of Paraguay Juan Ezcurra was captured in Marseille France. He was caught on a nude beach while getting a bl@wjob. An Argentine task force of about twenty men or so had some fun as well before carting him home to apparently stand trial for war crimes. We also managed to capture some exclusive footage of the incident and is the only news station showing it!

Warning: Do not watch the following footage if you are under the age of 18

Brazil Undergoes Reforms

Brazil has undergone numerous reforms despite the war going on. Interest rates have been increasing and inflation decreasing, taxes for businesses has been lowered, taxes on imported goods has been completely removed, sales tax has been lowered to encourage foreign investment. A new cabinet has been appointed and is working on tax reform. This has greatly helped the Brazilian economy
(+1 eco level)

Even military reforms have taken place with old-fashioned military commanders being pressured to retire and new one’s taking their place.

Now we move onto Europe with our correspondent Dan Brown.

 

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Germany joins EU

“This is Dan Brown reporting live from Berlin. Germany one of the most economically powerful nations in Europe has joined the European Union. I am here waiting for the German Chancellor to give an address. Ah here he is now….

"Germany today enters a new era. We join the European Union in the hope of stability, peace, trade and the freedom of democracy. Our economy is on the rise - unemployment is falling faster than ever before, and we will soon have the economy that we deserve, and the ability to keep pace with the rest of the world.

"With this in mind, I unveil the Three Step Plan.

"This initiative will first deliver a massive dose of culture into our sadly lacking society. Free books and theatre tickets will always be available in educational establishments, and regularly handed out in public too. Massive funds will also be earmarked for culture, such as media, including film and television, theatre, architecture, learning and science exhibitions, art and literature.

"The next stage will be the creation of a National Health Service. This will be achieved by nationalizing the private medical insurance most of us currently have, and utilize the efficiency of the private hospital network to give free healthcare to all. The people who pay into private medical insurance schemes will receive 20% of what they have already paid in back as compensation for the nationalization.

"The final stage will be free education for all up to and including university, to boost our already impressive education system.

"Germany is moving forward, my friends, and you should be eager to be a
part of it!"

Well the future does certainly look bright for the German people. The very fact that this is the Great-Grandson of the original Chancellor has filled them with confidence and pride in their nation.
(+1 Confidence)

However the German people have been petitioning their Chancellor to do something about Austria. Austria is part of the Hungarian Empire but not very happy about it. The people are rebellious and desire independence and Anchuluss with Germany. The German people are very sympathetic to their plight. Groups have been lobbying in favor of German intervention to “liberate” Austria from Hungary.

And speaking of Hungary….

Breaking News: Hungary invaded Romania!

At dawn today the Hungarian army crossed into Romania Preceded by air strikes they advanced almost effortlessly across the country.
The Romanian air force small and poorly trained was destroyed on the ground or easily blasted out of the skies by superior Hungarian numbers.
(-5 Romanian Fighter-Bomber air wings)

The low morale and the poor training of the Romanian army made itself clear as a large portion of the army deserted and the rest was annihilated
(-5 Romanian Infantry divisions, -1 Hungarian Infantry division)

The Romanian sailors abandoned their ships allowing the Hungarians to capture it.
(+5 Hungarian Battleships)

The extent of Romanian collapse is quite amazing as the small country is occupied almost effortlessly.

Despite the ease of the conquest this has large political ramifications. Hungary now as access to the Black Sea and is no longer a land locked nation

So far there has been little resistance to Hungarian control and there might not be as the Hungarians have made Romania a semi-autonomous region. In fact the people of Romania have responded with apathy to his invasion simply shrugging when our reporters questioned them about their views.
Interesting….

Shocking: Sea Monsters off coast of Yugoslavia!!!

Numerous sighting of sea monsters have been reported off the Yugoslavian coast. Fishermen and residents have been reporting strange going on’s.
Here is the testimony of one Yugoslavian fisherman

“There appeared a very terrible sea-animal, which raised itself so high above the water, that its head reached above our maintop. It had a long, sharp snout, and blew like a whale, had broad, large flippers, and the body was, as it were, covered with hard skin, and it was very wrinkled and uneven on its skin; moreover on the lower part it was formed like a snake, and when it went under water again, it cast itself backwards, and in doing so it raised it tail above the water, a whole ship length from its body. The evening we had very bad weather.”

There have also been reports of whale like creatures as well as numerous other types of monster including the Loch Ness Monster, sea serpents, dragons, and krakens.

This is very mysterious and very…very….disturbing. Only one thing is for certain we are all going to die a horrible painful death.

 

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Breaking News: Streets of Persia run red with blood!

The massive Russian military mobilized and it received one greatly detailed order, “mow down/suppress protestors” the entire Russian army entered Persia and began shooting everyone in site and randomly blowing things up. Anyone and everyone was susceptible to be killed. This of course did not sit well with the Persian people.

All of Persia rose up in revolt. Massive street battles took place and the blood flowed freely. However the sheer size of the Russian forces settled things.
The rebellions were violently suppressed but not without great cost to the Russians. Civilian casualties are said to be very high. Our reporters are trying to ascertain the exact numbers.
(-8 Russian Infantry divisions, -12 Fundamentalist divisions, -5 Volunteer divisions)

It did not end there though. Ayatollah Khameni fled to the United Islamic Confederation where he gave several stirring speeches rousing the people up to the call for jihad. He continues to call for the liberation of Persia and his speeches have swayed many.
(+10 Volunteer Divisions)

President may be impeached

The Russian economy was ordered to be mobilized at wartime production for absolutely no reason at all. A massive amount of spending has been put into the military and the Russian people are no happy at all. There have been rumors that the Russian President has gone insane this is substantiated by the vague instructions he gave his army.

“Yep, mow down/ suppress the Iranians and annex Kurds”

The Russian Duma has been considering impeachment of the President as an option. At any rate the mobilization order was cancelled, as was the order to invade Kurdistan. The Russian Duma has also ordered that the President refer all actions to them beforehand.
We will keep you update on the Russian insanity.

Egypt and Judea-Palestine unification talks

Our Middle Eastern correspondent has been covering talks between Egypt and Judea-Palestine over possible unification. Apparently it was Egypt that has initiated the talks but the government of Judea-Palestine wasn’t buying it. It seems Judea-Palestine prefers to unify with the UIC than it does Egypt. However talks continue with the Egyptians trying to sway the Judea-Palestinians to their side.
We will keep you informed.

Monmohan Singh Prime Minister of India

Moving onto to Asia Monmohan Singh has become Prime Minister defeating Sonia Ghandi’s Congress Party. Monmohan Singh is the first Sikh Prime Minister and he has been attempting to heal the rifts between Hindu’s, Muslims, and Sikhs. His theme is that of national unity but he has some way to go before unifying such a divided land. India has often been referred to as having countries inside the country. It remains to be seen weather he can bring the country together. But the Indian people are hopeful.

ASEAN founded

The Association of South-East Asian Nations was created today to aid in the mutual protection of Australia, Japan, and India. China and Indochina clearly viewed this as a threat forming an alliance of their own to counter ASEAN and maintain the balance of power in the region.
As you will all recall both India and China are rivals for regional domination of Asia and both are future superpowers. This is simply another battle on the world stage.

 

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Indochina’s Military Buildup

In recent months it has come to the attention of Tachyon News Service of a military buildup by Indochina. According to Kent Brockman the air force is the one that has benefited the most with the Army and Navy remaining equal. This may be as a response to the founding of ASEAN. However it is unlikely it will come to war as all involved nations are more interested in economic development than fighting each other.

On an unrelated note Kent Brockman will now be a moving reporter instead of a correspondent. It is also Kent’s 50th birthday today.

Australasian Tourism picks up

Tourism has been picking up in Australasia in recent months after the government invested into it. But it will need some more time as well as an aggressive advertising campagain for tourists to really start coming in. The surfing in Australia is pretty good but the beer is terrible so that will have to be worked on.

The government also invested in the construction of universities. That still doesn’t change the fact that Australians have atrocious accents and act really weird but at least it makes them slightly more educated.
(+1 education level)

Angola loses Autonomy!

We now go to South Africa where the formerly autonomous part of South Africa Angola has lost its autonomy! This action was justified by the phrase "all parts of the Republic must be equal!"
This action did not sit well with the Angolans. Some Angolans left the country taking advantage of the open border with Rhodesia but most stayed not wanting to leave what they considered their homeland and decided to instead protest. Pamphlets have been distributed condemning the South African governments abolition of Angolan autonomy.
The South African military quickly moved in and broke up the protests there were a few sporadic acts of violence but those were quickly dealt with.

Immigration and Emigration in South Africa

The South African government encouraged whites from all over the world to move to South Africa. A few came from parts of Africa such as Rhodesia but there was no notable large-scale immigration. Meanwhile there was some emigration. People were expelled from the country for crimes but one of our reporters noticed many of the people had certain things in common such as obesity. Mysterious to say the least…

Meanwhile patriotism is stirring with patriotic books and movies are made showing a We vs. They mentality encouraging the people to be brave and not surrender.
(+1 culture)

Diamonds are forever

Investment is being encouraged by the government trying to promote tourism as well as getting specialists to come. Investors are however a bit wary and suspious of the country but some are coming to invest.
The lion share of the investment goes into the famed South African diamond mines. These diamond mines are said to possess the largest diamonds in the world and South Africa is the largest producer of diamonds.
(+1 eco level)

More than anything else it is the diamonds that are South Africa’s greatest appeals. Big luscious, shiny, sexy diamonds….rrrr…. it is the stuff of dreams Mr. Bond.

 

[silver 2039]

La Francophone a huge success

The cultural organization La Francophone was a huge success with all proposals being agreed upon and many methods of promoting French culture being purported.
(+1 culture to all members)

This cultural organization is the largest and most successful in the world. Already there have been large contributions in the form of funds from several countries for joint projects.
There are surely many great things to come for French culture in the near future.

News flash: Drug smuggling cracked down on

Drug smugglers and people who have invested in drug smugglers are unhappy. Which includes me. The Quebeconois police into one big national police force have been seriously cracking down on criminals. Using nice high tech gadgets like cell phones, laptops, and helicopters the amount of criminals being apprehended have increased by a large percentage. No it is certainly not a good time to be a criminal in Quebec.
Or a terrorist for that matter. An extensive anti-terrorist campagain was launched by intelligences agencies but there are very few terrorists in Quebec most are too busy gnashing their teeth at Russia.

Healthcare cure proposed

The recent controversy and dispute over healthcare in Quebec may soon end. A two-tier system of health care is being proposed where people have the option of choosing between a public system or private system. However not all are happy at this as the rival parties launched attacks on this as well as other policies of the Quebec government.
Healthcare isn’t the only problem facing Quebec though. In recent years a trend that has been apparent in all developed countries in the world is the shrinking birth rates. Quite simply people are having less children. This of course impacts the population growth rate causing the population to shrink.
To help increase population immigration reform is being implemented. The immigration system is being streamlined to make processing faster. People can now enter the country in one to three months rather than the year if formerly took. There has been immigration from abroad notably Romanians as well Paraguayans most likely leaving their homelands due to war.
The immigration reform is sure to help Quebec’s falling birth rates.

Tachyon reporter on drugs

A 30-year-old Tachyon reporter was found to be on drugs. In addition to that he is also a virgin and was caught in his underwear visiting a brothel. He has been fired from our employment for being a sex manic as well as debauched.
Avoid this man: It may be a woman we are unsure

 

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Map:

 

[silver 2039]

Diplomacy:

To World
From Romania

Help!!!

To Germany
From Austria

Liberate us from the Hungarian oppressors!!!

To President
From Duma

Make sure to take your medication on time

To South Africa
From Rhodesia

How dare you remove Angolan autonomy! We cannot allow your oppression of the Angolan people.

 

[silver 2039]

You may now post

Stats have not been done yet. I will work on them and let you know when they are finished.

 

[das]

Correction - Russia doesn't have a president, but rather an elected regent. They are pretending to have monarchy. Like Hungary in WWII. But with democracy.

Either way, great update, will flame the Rhodesians later.

 

[silver 2039]

I seem to have kind of messed up Kurdistan's capital. It's square rather than round and I can't quite figure out how to fix it. Anyone have any idea?


@Das noted. BTW Fat B@stard was denied citizenship. He is very unhappy about it.

 

[das]

@Das noted. BTW Fat B@stard was denied citizenship. He is very unhappy about it.

South Africa would like to ask Britain to grant Scotland independance for five minutes so that we can condemn it for sabotage.

From: SAR
To: Rhodesia

Just because the majority of Angola's population are black doesn't mean that they are any better then the other people in South Africa. They have proven themselves incapable of self-rule, as Angola is the poorest part of South Africa (ofcourse that doesn't have anything to do with the fact that the diamonds are elsewhere, silly!). To improve the situation there we are obliged to take total control over it.

 

[Kozmos]

Silver why you.... I'm not quitting my ocean colonization program.Aint gonna be stopped by some krakens and serpents.

 

[silver 2039]

Silver why you.... I'm not quitting my ocean colonization program.Aint gonna be stopped by some krakens and serpents.

Yeah it was partly that and partly what you built as well.

 

[Concona]

To USA
From Holland:

Are you still planning to buy Indonesia? for 3 ecopoints

 

[Toteone]

(oc) jeeeeze what a bunch of ungrateful people... so Russia is ACTUALLY a democracy around here? wow

Don't see what all the complaining is about though. I kicked rebel ass didn't I? Hmmm mebbe it was overkill.

 

[silver 2039]

Yeah it was overkill. Plus the mobolization and massive military spending was uncalled for.
And since you are a democracy you can't invade countries randomly such as Kurdistan.

 

[Goober]

Heh, awesome Update, silver. Now I can start on my next barrage of stories. I love the pics, especially Fat Bastard. I am simply too lazy to do pics, unfortunately.

I have no diplo, being isolationist does not lead itself well to diplo. BTW, the Healthcare controversy is the Liberal President Gilles Duceppe proposing 2 Tier Healthcare, which is immensely unpoopular with Quebecers. Quebecers supprt Universal, Public Healthcare by a very wide margin, and Duceppe is trying to change that.

BTW, please ensure that Sheep is somewhat, well, not insane when he takes over whatever country that he takes. I don't want him, if he becomes the USA, randomly invading me if, say, the Communists win or something.

 

[das]

Is Sheep here?! *hides in underground bunker*

 

[Gelion]

Who says Sheep is taking USA?