So there's this girl on my bus...

[Rossiya]

All name changes need to go through Thunderfall. PM him, and he'll decide if it gets done or not.

OK, cheers.

 

[skadistic]

Next time shes gazing at you give a wink at a sly grin out one side of your mouth then usher her over to you and just ask her what she is doing (tonight-this weekend).If she says "I don't know" or "nothing" thats an open invite to ask her to spend it with you.

 

[Rossiya]

I don't know if I want to be that forward with her. I mean, sure, I would do that after I had spoken to her a few times, and possibly after getting her MSN address (in the UK I think most people use MSN rather than AIM or Yahoo), but not that quickly.

 

[warpus]

The fact that she's a girl makes it 1000% more hard to talk to her. She wears very fashionable clothes, like an Italian almost.

That gives you the perfect opening - compliment an article of her clothing, her hair, sunglasses, etc... but make sure that the compliment is sincere.. if it's unique, even better. Girls love to be complimented, and they love it when a guy notices the little things they do.. or the big things.. or anything at all

I know it's hard, but that's all in your head. Right now your goal is to get to know her better - don't think about anything beyond that, it will only make things more frightening.

 

[Gr3yL3gion]

Just talk to her naturally and you'll be fine.

 

[skadistic]

I don't know if I want to be that forward with her. I mean, sure, I would do that after I had spoken to her a few times, and possibly after getting her MSN address (in the UK I think most people use MSN rather than AIM or Yahoo), but not that quickly.

Are you kidding me? To foward? I give up on you kids. You can't wait to long you'll miss your chance.Then you have to move on and you'll have wasted your time.

 

[Rossiya]

Thank you warpus, I had never thought of the last thing you put, about how thinking about everything at the same time.

 

[Rossiya]

Are you kidding me? To foward? I give up on you kids. You can't wait to long you'll miss your chance.Then you have to move on and you'll have wasted your time.

I dunno. Before I have always been with a group of friends that we just "get girls" with. But they do not go the same school as me, and therefore I am left alone to deal with this girl.

If I get her MSN address I will be fine from thereon, it's just talking to her 1 on 1 that makes my blood run cold.

 

[Corlindale]

I know about that feeling, you're certain that you'll be able to make the move, and when the day comes you suddenly find all kinds of excuses for postponing it.
Try to be rational. Try to weigh the possible positive consequences of a succes with the possible negative consequences of a failure in your mind. The positive FAR outweighs the negative, so there's no reason not to try. Besides, if you delay to long and she suddenly, say, switches school, you'll be faced with a huge stab of one of the most dread feelings a human being can experience - regret.
When the time comes to make your move just stop thinking. It's hard to do, but basically you need to shout to yourself mentally: "I'm just going ahead with this now! NOW! NOW I TELL YOU! THIS IS YOUR MOMENT! DO IT!" or something along those lines That's what I did when I asked a girl out for the first time, after months of trying to gather courage.

Conversation subjects...well, if you go to the same school I guess there's a subject right there, as many have pointed out. If she ever reads on the bus it can also be a golden oppertunity to start a conversation if you've read the same book.

 

[Rossiya]

I know about that feeling, you're certain that you'll be able to make the move, and when the day comes you suddenly find all kinds of excuses for postponing it.
Try to be rational. Try to weigh the possible positive consequences of a succes with the possible negative consequences of a failure in your mind. The positive FAR outweighs the negative, so there's no reason not to try. Besides, if you delay to long and she suddenly, say, switches school, you'll be faced with a huge stab of one of the most dread feelings a human being can experience - regret.
When the time comes to make your move just stop thinking. It's hard to do, but basically you need to shout to yourself mentally: "I'm just going ahead with this now! NOW! NOW I TELL YOU! THIS IS YOUR MOMENT! DO IT!" or something along those lines That's what I did when I asked a girl out for the first time, after months of trying to gather courage.

Conversation subjects...well, if you go to the same school I guess there's a subject right there, as many have pointed out. If she ever reads on the bus it can also be a golden oppertunity to start a conversation if you've read the same book.

No she's in the girls school across the road from all boys school...Pesky British education!

But yes, that is exactly my point, if I don't make my move I will certainly regret it. I almost feel that the first thing I say to her is: "Sorry I haven't talked to you before, it's just that I have been very scared lately..." You get what I mean.

 

[C~G]

Many of us been there chrisrossi.

I have taken this line from Collateral which might help:
Someday my dream will come. One night you'll wake up and you'll discover it never happened. It's all turned around on you and it never will. Suddenly you are old, didn't happened and it never will, 'cause you were never going to do it anyway.
- Vincent

In other words chrisrossi, your guts are saying the right thing that this is the chance of life time. You kid yourself if you think it can happen again. I have my fair share of chances and some of them have gone with the wind. Don't do the mistake that you don't talk with her. You regret it later, when she's gone for good. Trust me, if I know something it is this thing.

You do what the man's gotta do. You will know how to talk to her when you approach her. Like guys said, you can start with her clothes and move on from there.

However even though we all say this might be your chance of life time, on the bus and before that, you should think it is just normal day and there's nothing special about that you go to talk to this girl. It should calm you down. As long as you pay attention to her especially with eyes and keep talking at least about something everything should turn out OK.

I would pay more attention how I say things than what I say as long as it isn't BS. And remember the last things what you say to her before goodbyes might be the most important. Remember end it with high note about seeing her again.

Good luck and I think mods should ban you for the time being before you have seriously talked to the girl.
But like Turner said, you have to do this favor not for anyone else but for yourself and also possible for the girl.

 

[Rossiya]

Good luck and I think mods should ban you for the time being before you have seriously talked to the girl.
But like Turner said, you have to do this favor not for anyone else but for yourself and also possible for the girl.

I know. I know it sounds stupid, but I have actually had dreams where I talk to her on the bus and get things going with her. Different things I have said, different reactions from her, but then I wake up I realise "it was all a dream and never happened".

 

[MamboJoel]

You never talked to her ? You don't even know her name ?
Cool
The more you wait the less chances you have to make that first move. And girls (almost all of them) consider it's the boy's role to take that risk. Haaa....
Hell just sit next to her next time, and talk about the bus, what she thinks about its pace etc...
I don't think she expects any debate about technocracy right away.

Edit : Note that by not talking to her and just exchanging glances for a while you have quite mystificated her, you might be a bit disapointed when you get back to reality.

 

[Rossiya]

You never talked to her ? You don't even know her name ?
Cool
The more you wait the less chances you have to make that first move. And girls (almost all of them) consider it's the boy's role to take that risk. Haaa....
Hell just sit next to her next time, and talk about the bus, what she thinks about its pace etc...
I don't think she expects any debate about technocracy right away.

Edit : Note that by not talking to her and just exchanging glances for a while you have quite mystificated her, you might be a bit disapointed when you get back to reality.

I talked to her a little before. I know her name is Dana.

I never thought of talking about the bus itself. Maybe I will.

"mystificated"? What's that, and what do you mean when it gets back to reality?

 

[MamboJoel]

I mean, when you only live the relation in your mind, thinking about the girl from time to time, but not actually having contact with her, you tend to build a certain image of her. The risk is that when you'll know her you might be disapointed because she might not like you imagined.
Note that it's the same for her the other way around.
Anyway, nice souvenirs : this period of life when girls are a bit less *direct*.

BTW : what did you talk about with her ? Is that when you discoverd her name ?

 

[ComradeDavo]

As the title suggests, there is this girl on my bus, absolute gem. The bus takes us and many others from our schools to our homes, a 20 minute process.

Now, this has been going on for months, where most days she would glance at me, for a considerable time, eye to eye. With this, and many other things, I have ascertained that she likes me, no doubt.

The problem is that she is obviously waiting for me to make the move to talk to her. The other problem, possibly worst than the first one, is that I simply cannot bring myself to talk to her because I do not know how I could keep a conversation going; I don't know what to talk about.

We have just got back from the summer holidays and I have been thinking of her quite a bit, thinking of how I could approach her and talk to her. I promised to myself that on the first day back I would go straight up and talk to her. But it gets to the first day coming home, and I can't do it. It gets to the second day, and I can't do it. This was today. But this time, the last second of her gaze seemed to be quite annoyed from her, as if she has given up with me.

There has been a few times when we have had very short conversations, all going well. For some reason, I feel absolutely incapable of talking to her again.

And now that she is in the sixth form, she wears her own clothes, and she looks even better, making me sad.

I know I am not the only guy with this problem. Other people can vent their problems too here, if you want.

So, I have decided to seek the help of real people, to see what you people think I should do to overcome my situation and take the girl!

Well, once you've established that you know each other (which by 'we have had very short conversations,') it is clear you ahve done, then a good starting point is to compliment something about her, like her clothing for example. Thats a good way to start a conversationw ith anyone, male or female, whetehr yoru after them or not. I've done it many times in a friendly manner, and it woudl easily work in a flirty one.

I mean if she's wearing a new top or something then say 'Hey, I like your top, when'd you get get it?' or similar. Or if she has done her differently then 'hey your new hair looks cool' or soemthing.

Anyways number 1 thing - say 'Hey Dana' whenever you see her about! Ask her how she is! What has she been up to lately? All simple things. Makes friends with her first before moving onto boyfriend/girlfriend!

 

[Rossiya]

BTW : what did you talk about with her ? Is that when you discoverd her name ?

It wasn't much at all. It was about how stupid these little kids that are about 11 that go to my school are, acting like idiots. It was at the same time that one of her friends called her and she turned so I guess her name is Dana. I thought knowing someone's name before they have spoke to you was a bit creepy, but obviously not because this other girl was with her mates; I was on my own, and one of them went "So, what's your name? I've heard people call you Chris so is that your name or are you called something else?"

 

[Rossiya]

Anyways number 1 thing - say 'Hey Dana' whenever you see her about! Ask her how she is! What has she been up to lately? All simple things. Makes friends with her first before moving onto boyfriend/girlfriend!

Yes, but it's one of those things where I know her name but she doesn't know that I know her name, and I don't want to come over as a creep. I don't know if she knows that I'm a year younger than her anyway, we are in different schools, one boys, one girls.

 

[ComradeDavo]

Yes, but it's one of those things where I know her name but she doesn't know that I know her name, and I don't want to come over as a creep. I don't know if she knows that I'm a year younger than her anyway, we are in different schools, one boys, one girls.

Just say 'so am i right in thinking your name is Dana?'

She'll say - 'yeah, how'd u know?' or summin, so you say 'Oh just heard people call you it'.

 

[amadeus]

Just ask.

Says no, move on.