Soviet Russia Jokes

[Jouzou]

I'm suprised this one hasn't been mentioned yet. A bit of background: This joke originates from the time when the first version of Mozilla Firefox was released and tabbed browsing was a relatively new thing.

"In Soviet Russia, your browser keeps tabs on you."

 

[Save_Ferris]

I used to make Soviet Russia jokes. Then I took knee to the arrow!

 

[Graceheart the Leopard]

The Armenian Radio was asked: "Is it true that in Moscow, Mercedes cars are being given to citizens?"
The Armenian Radio answers: "Yes, but it is not Moscow but Leningrad, not Mercedes but Ladas, and not given to but stolen from."

 

[Civ'ed]

That's not A soviet russia, that's a Radio Yerevan.

 

[Dumanios]

 

[Phrossack]

In America, you follow the law.

In Soviet Russia, law follows YOU!

Spoiler :

 

[Yeekim]

I'm suprised this one hasn't been mantioned yet. A bit of background: This joke originates from the time when the first version of Mozilla Firefox was released and tabbed browsing was a relatively new thing.

"In Soviet Russia, your browser keeps tabs on you."

That is the first genuinely funny "In Soviet Russia..." joke I've heard for a LONG time.
/ honorary mention from an ex-Soviet citizen

 

[NinjaCow64]

I used to make Soviet Russia jokes. Then I took knee to the arrow!

In Soviet Russia, thread resurrect you!

 

[Jouzou]

To all those who have played Metal Gear Solid 3:

"In Soviet Russia, the Sorrow drowns you."

 

[Civ'ed]

or from anno 2070
In Soviet C.O.R.E, you go corrupt and destroy F.A.T.H.E.R!

 

[SamSniped]

In Soviet Russia, wife is on top of you!

 

[Jouzou]

In Soviet Russia, you have one child and seven dolls.
In Soviet Russia, alcohol consumes you.
In Soviet Russia, a martini gives you the shakes.
In Soviet Russia, the culprit is known, but the crime is unclear.
In Soviet Fight Club, you end up owning the stuff that owns you.

 

[GamezRule]

In Soviet Russia, labor owns you.

 

[Josu]

First soviet russia joke i heard was: In california you can find a party everywhere, in soviet russia, the party finds you everywhere

 

[SamSniped]

and

 

[Civ'ed]

In soviet russia, girl likes you
/foreveralone

 

[NinjaCow64]

In Soviet Russia, thread necros you!

 

[SouthernKing]

In Soviet Russia, clone trolls you!
Oh wait...

 

[caketastydelish]

I'm sure there are some Soviet Russia jokes that involve Chuck Norris, although none come to mind.

 

[W|M]

''Here (in America), I am janitor. In former Soviet Union, I am physicist!''