Yeah, I think it's essential that we just
recognise that it's a vanity project
and a step-wise quest for human advancement into the cosmos. There's a long-term, multi-generation goal that needs momentum, and there're short-term feel-good projects.
It's not efficient science, not like robot probes are. I think what's needed is a consensus that a portion of the space budget will be spent on the quest and some will be spent on questions. If 50% is spent on manned flight, and 50% is spent on science, then we'll get progress in both arenas. It needs a hard ratio, because we'll always be tempted to steal from Space Paul to pay for Science Peter.
IMO, the spending on the manned portion should be 'enough' to get regular milestones. Something 'cool' every fifteen or twenty years, funded by governments. IF private industry finds utility for people-in-space, then we'll get the normal leapfrog we've seen elsewhere in development.
This is most already the case, but we are few in number and underfunded in the aggregate.
Your point that tourism is providing the profit motive as it stands right now is a fair point, but relies too heavily on what is, essentially, a niche market.
Yes, I know it's a niche market. But I just cannot think of any other. Either space fans can try to shuffle money/attention into that niche market or they can help ignore that niche market and allow it to wither. Ideally, while shuffling attention to the niche market, we SHOULD be thinking of alternate markets, but there's no reason we cannot do both.
Apply for contests that have 'flights' as a prize, buy the books of the people proposing ideas (Mars colonies, space elevators, etc), pay attention when space projects start and when they get sponsors.
If we're not willing to spend $50 of our own money (annually), we cannot really expect other people to spend their $50 (in taxes)