My guy's name is Robert Blake.
He was once put into prison in London, England for being (wrongfully) accused of letting a Scottish spy into the Royal Castle. In the prison, he met Nobby Stykes, who Robert had, in what would latter be known as one of his characteristic fits of insanity, accused Nobby and several others as possibilities for letting the spy in, because he knew he didn't do it. He and Nobby had many misadventures in the prison, such as eating fried rat-on-a-stick, and Robert spitting on the birdies outside his window as revenge to all the poor chaps who had been hit by them. And because he's a loony.
One day, the noble and holier-than-thou knight, Ald... Aleri... the character played by KOVAV, came to see Robert and Nobby to get a confession from them. Robert agitated the ass-kissing knight to no end, insulting his honor like it were a piece of linty fluff. KOVAV got pissy and called over the king, ol' what's-his-name, played by Celsius. KOVAV challenged Robert to a duel, and hoping it would get a weapon, Robert confessed to the crime, and was killed on the spot by the king. Nobby was glad he could finally go home, although he was dismayed by the loss of his friend.
However, what Nobby didn't know, was that Robert had transcended reality in his final moments of life, becoming a god-like being who wandered time and space. Robert found this to be really, really boring, so he found some dudes with red laser swords and joined up with them, fighting the forces of good and sanity with three lightsabers (one in each hand and another in his mouth). However, he soon realized that this looked really stupid, and kinda hurt his mouth (as he isn't blonde), so just fought with two from then on.