The 'Elf defence' - excuses and obfuscation

You go with the army you have, not the army you want.

I didn't inhale.

No, a proof is a proof. What kind of a proof? It's a proof. A proof is a proof, and when you have a good proof, it's because it's proven.

Do you agree that Quebec should become sovereign after having made a formal offer to Canada for a new economic and political partnership within the scope of the bill respecting the future of Quebec and of the agreement signed on June 12, 1995?
 
"I was drunk and thus can not be held responsible for my actions"

This one actually worked here in Canada
 
I bet in the end all he wanted to do was wear womens clothing. :lol:

But if he was too embarrased to buy some, he should of just stolen some from his sister or whatever. ;)

On second thought. He is probably a tad insane.
 
There is a case in English Law whereby a Defendant attempted to defeat a charge of Beastiality. The defendant stated that for a charge of Beastiality he had to have sex with an animal. The defendant stated that the Moose he had sex with wasn't an animal as it was dead. It was therefore a corpse and the beastiality charge should fail.
I think that's a pretty good defense. Any objection to bestiality would be based on non-consent and cruelty to animals. If no other living being is involved, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. Are you going to get charged with bestiality for wearing a lambskin condom?
 
"I was drunk and thus can not be held responsible for my actions"

This one actually worked here in Canada

Wow, i cant imagine that ever working in the U.S. We have drunk drivers up the wazoo here. :lol:
 
Scooter Libby defence

"I forgot and didnt lied sixteen times under oath."
 
Scooter Libby defence

"I forgot and didnt lied sixteen times under oath."

Ah yes the "I forgot" gambit. If I remember correctly that was Reagan's favourite move. :lol:
 
Would that be: "I think I left my hat in your apartment?"

I thought it was claiming ignorace of obvious things, notably used when fired for his, um, after-hours activities at work involving the cleaning lady. He asks his boss, "was that wrong? Should I not have done that?"
 
There is a case in English Law whereby a Defendant attempted to defeat a charge of Beastiality. The defendant stated that for a charge of Beastiality he had to have sex with an animal. The defendant stated that the Moose he had sex with wasn't an animal as it was dead. It was therefore a corpse and the beastiality charge should fail.

It didn't work.
Do you have more details? I'm sceptical - bestiality has only been a crime in England since 2003, and the law specifically states "living animal". Before then it might have come under animal cruelty, but then that obviously wouldn't apply to dead animals. Hence it's a perfectly valid defence, and I'm curious if there was a case where this didn't work.

Legality aside, I strongly disagree that this is a dodgy excuse - whilst sex with animals may be a cruelty issue, there seems little reason to criminalise sex with a dead animal (as I'm sure has been discussed in a recent-ish thread).
 
I thought it was claiming ignorace of obvious things, notably used when fired for his, um, after-hours activities at work involving the cleaning lady. He asks his boss, "was that wrong? Should I not have done that?"

The way that .Shane. explained it was something like this: "You didn't tell me it was wrong, so I didn't know it was wrong." That was his defense for why he shouldn't be fired for having sex with the cleaning lady.
 
By the way, here's my stupid defense argument:

1. A guy went to a bank.
2. He deposited $100 into his own account.
3. He then proceeded to rob the bank.

He was caught, and his defense was:
"No one could be that stupid."

So, since no one could be that stupid, no one could do it, which means he didn't do it.
 
Classic excuse: He had a poor childhood.
 
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