Mise
isle of lucy
Would be funnier if it was actually a black man instead of a bear.
The HEhe HAha Joke Thread 2.0
- Thread starter CCRunner
- Start date
uat2d
ಠ_ಠ
You know when does a bear have his own motorist?
When he's caught by the police.
When he's caught by the police.
SamSniped
DJ Goodboye
Not sure if this has been posted here yet, but:
salty mud
Deity
I'm not sure I understand that. (Nor am I sure I want to...)
uat2d
ಠ_ಠ
Michael Jackson is dead so it's not like he'd be able to love those children one last time.
btw, that was stupid, the pilot would never jump out of the plane, not if he didn't want to spend the rest of his life in jail rather than doing the best he could to be an hero.
And why would even Michael Jackson fly on a plane with a nun and a bunch of orphans?
btw, that was stupid, the pilot would never jump out of the plane, not if he didn't want to spend the rest of his life in jail rather than doing the best he could to be an hero.
And why would even Michael Jackson fly on a plane with a nun and a bunch of orphans?
KaiserElectric
Total Freakin Besties
- Joined
- Dec 2, 2007
- Messages
- 3,461
Use your imagination. 
classical_hero
In whom I trust
A blonde and a brunette decide to start a farm together. They add up their life savings into a total of $200.00.
Then, the blonde decided to purchase a bull with it. The brunette agrees, and so the brunette leaves to go find the perfect bull. When she does she is to telegram the blonde and tell her to come get it.
Finally, the brunette find the bull of her dreams. The farmer says he wants $200 for it. The brunette, thinking she can get a better deal, says no to his offer.
The farmer says, "Alright then, I'll give you a great deal, how about $199.00?"
The brunette accepts and buys the bull. She has $1.00 left for the telegram. The telegram guy says, "It's $1.00 per word." The brunette thinks about this and says,"Comfortable, write that."
"Comfortable?" the guy questions.
"Yes, you see she reads slow."
Then, the blonde decided to purchase a bull with it. The brunette agrees, and so the brunette leaves to go find the perfect bull. When she does she is to telegram the blonde and tell her to come get it.
Finally, the brunette find the bull of her dreams. The farmer says he wants $200 for it. The brunette, thinking she can get a better deal, says no to his offer.
The farmer says, "Alright then, I'll give you a great deal, how about $199.00?"
The brunette accepts and buys the bull. She has $1.00 left for the telegram. The telegram guy says, "It's $1.00 per word." The brunette thinks about this and says,"Comfortable, write that."
"Comfortable?" the guy questions.
"Yes, you see she reads slow."
Veritass
Emperor
After the success with the bull, they decided to try their hand at raising chickens. They went to a supplier and bought 200 chicks and brought them back to the farm. Next week they bought 200 more chicks. The week after that, 200 more. Finally the supplier said, "That's an awful lot of chicks."
The blonde said, "Yes, the first two batches died. I think we're either planting them too deep or too far apart."
The supplier, having attending Texas A&M, said, "You'd better bring me in a soil sample."
The blonde said, "Yes, the first two batches died. I think we're either planting them too deep or too far apart."
The supplier, having attending Texas A&M, said, "You'd better bring me in a soil sample."
madviking
north american scum
A: "I made $100.05 last week sucking dick."
B: "Who gave you the nickel?"
A: "They all did."
B: "Who gave you the nickel?"
A: "They all did."
Midnight-Blue766
The filidh that cam frae Skye
What's the difference between the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and Ancient Aliens?
Spoiler :
KaiserElectric
Total Freakin Besties
- Joined
- Dec 2, 2007
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- 3,461
I tell the same joke with Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and the Church of Scientology.
classical_hero
In whom I trust
How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, that is a hardware problem.
None, that is a hardware problem.
classical_hero
In whom I trust
That must have some local meaning to it.
Nah, just me trying to translate the punchline in a sufficiently short manner.
I'll try again:
Putins are having a divorce. They have decided to split marital property by drawing the line at the Urals.
classical_hero
In whom I trust
That makes much more sense.
WhiteRobber
Twinkle twinkle Wunderbar
Three guys ( one is ******ed) are standed on a tropical island after their ship sunk. They find a magic lamp, and genie comes out, saying he can grant each only one with.
The first guy wishes to be teleported into his home town and *POOF*, he dissappears.
The second guy wishes to be teleported at the live concert of his favourite band, and "POOF"
The third guy starts feeling lonely and wishes for the other two to return. "POOF"
The first guy wishes to be teleported into his home town and *POOF*, he dissappears.
The second guy wishes to be teleported at the live concert of his favourite band, and "POOF"
The third guy starts feeling lonely and wishes for the other two to return. "POOF"
Mise
isle of lucy
That's usually told with an Englishman, Scotsman and Irishman in the UK, with the joke being that the Irish are so stupid and incompetent that they'd wish for the other two to return instead of wishing to go home as well.
WhiteRobber
Twinkle twinkle Wunderbar
I know a lot of variants of that one. One is with three women, of which one is blonde. Another one is with a Policeman and two criminals. Effect is the same.
I know jokes on almost all subjects, mostly related to nations, nationalty. etc.
Anyway, for now, a joke about Irish.
A rich guy wants to meet the biggest drunkard on the planet. He googles a bit and find out that there is not one person, but an entire list, made only of people from Ireland. So he goes to Ireland to test the alcohol resistance of the locals.
He enters the first bar he sees, and shouts.
"Listen everyone! Whoever can drink the 50 liters of vodka from my truck (points outside, to his truck) gets 10000$ from me!"
The people in the bar look at him for a few seconds and return to their normal activities, like he wasn't there. One guy looks at the newcomer with a slight smile, but suddenly leaves through the back door.
The rich guy , disappointed, sits on the table and plans his return, when suddenly, the guy who left comes back.
"Hey, the bet's still available?"
"Of course!"
The irish guy startsdrinking , and in only a few minutes, he finishes the drinks. The rich guy, amazed, starts counting the money he has to give, and sais:
"Wow, that was amazing, I've enver seen anyone drink that much! Anyway, why did you left before?"
"I went to the bar down the street to see if I can do it."
I know jokes on almost all subjects, mostly related to nations, nationalty. etc.
Anyway, for now, a joke about Irish.
A rich guy wants to meet the biggest drunkard on the planet. He googles a bit and find out that there is not one person, but an entire list, made only of people from Ireland. So he goes to Ireland to test the alcohol resistance of the locals.
He enters the first bar he sees, and shouts.
"Listen everyone! Whoever can drink the 50 liters of vodka from my truck (points outside, to his truck) gets 10000$ from me!"
The people in the bar look at him for a few seconds and return to their normal activities, like he wasn't there. One guy looks at the newcomer with a slight smile, but suddenly leaves through the back door.
The rich guy , disappointed, sits on the table and plans his return, when suddenly, the guy who left comes back.
"Hey, the bet's still available?"
"Of course!"
The irish guy startsdrinking , and in only a few minutes, he finishes the drinks. The rich guy, amazed, starts counting the money he has to give, and sais:
"Wow, that was amazing, I've enver seen anyone drink that much! Anyway, why did you left before?"
"I went to the bar down the street to see if I can do it."
