The Internet - Hero or Villian?

[SoCalian]

So, I am giving a speach to the Lion's Club, and the topic for this year's competition is "The Internet - Hero or Villian". The first leg of it will only be up to three people from my school, and all of the varsity Forensics kid have declined, execpt for me. This means, that if anyone besides me goes, it will be a dumb novice who I can clearly outspeak, no matter how subtly absurd my speach is. It is also worth noting that the audience for this thing is a small group of geriatrics, who feel like giving me free food and $20 for giving a 5 minute speach to them. That being said, I want to make my speach as outrageous as I possibly can (like internet horror stories outgareous, like the internet becoming our overlord outrageous). I want to rail against the internet, perhaps satiricly, perhaps fire and brimestone. I'm not quite sure at this point. Do you guys have any ideas of what I can do?

 

[Narz]

Be sure to post your speech (and your opponents) afterwards.

Sounds like fun. Enjoy!

 

[skadistic]

Playing GTA for the PSP on one of the radio stations ads keep poping up like:
Guy1 "Check out this hot girl I found on the net"
Guy2 "Thats my dauter"
Voice "You can find anything on the net and most of it is bad"

or

Dad "What is this in your closet?"
son "Its a nuclear bomb"
Dad "Where did you learn to make this?"
Son "On the internet"
Voice "You can find anything on the net and most of its bad"
Son "I finaly show my ----- sience teacher a thing or two"

I paraphrased that but you get the idea. And theres always the most evil of sins that permiates the web PORN !


edited for spelling

 

[SoCalian]

I was thinking of porning it up a bit.

And, I'll be sure to post the speach if I type it out, and don't just make it up as I go along, or right before.

 

[Bozo Erectus]

Explain to them how the Internet is the greatest development in the History of Self Abuse, bigger even than the invention of photography.

 

[SoCalian]

explain bozo...

 

[Bozo Erectus]

Well, a caveman out on a long hunt would have to content himself with his imagination and memories of Uuga bending over the mastadon carcass. Then one day, one of them started painting pictures of women on cave walls, and making busty little figurines out of clay. BOOM! The Birth of Porn! (echo effect). For the next few thousands of years, porn was regulated to the art world, then one day in the 19th century there was an earth shaking development: the invention of photography. Man rejoiced. Then with the development of film, man thought surely, this is it. The peak of self abuse has been reached, surely there cant be any new inventions...Then came the Internet and the development of the phrase "Click Here". The world of self abuse has never been the same.

 

[Ramius75]

How come u guys are complaining about porn?

Btw, i saw the thread's title and decided to come in and post, "Internet = Hero coz it gave me free porn" Its something u guys cant appreciate without be in Singapore.

hope can give some ideas.

 

[SoCalian]

oh, by self abuse you mean masturbation. now I get it.

 

[ybbor]

very interesting article: http://www.exitmundi.nl/logo_borg.gif

I lean the other way, but it still is interesting

 

[WillJ]

Dress for the speech as an Amish person. And if any audience member's cell phone goes off, take it and try to crush it with a giant Bible.

 

[SoCalian]

OMG WillJ, you're a flipin' genius!

 

[Jawz II]

Dress for the speech as an Amish person. And if any audience member's cell phone goes off, take it and try to crush it with a giant Bible.

good one. i lold!