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The Joke Leaders Thread

Discussion in 'Civ5 - General Discussions' started by SmithRobloxian, Jul 14, 2013.

  1. AW Arcaeca

    AW Arcaeca Deus Vult

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2013
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    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Operation Padlock ground zero
    Or, how about:

    GREAT BRITAIN
    Leader: George III
    UA: Revolution - 30% chance every turn that an overseas 'colony' will revolt and become its own nation that will immediately declare war on the motherland. All other cities on the same continent as the overseas revolution also join the new nation.
    UB: Textile Mill - Replaces Factory. +10% :c5production:, +2 :c5unhappy:, +4:c5gold:. Requires an improved source of cotton near the city. +4:c5gold: benefits become -2:c5gold: after the industrial age ends.
    UU: Redcoat - Replaces Musketman. 28:c5strength: in friendly territory, 20:c5strength: outside foreign territory. +1% :c5unhappy: for every Redcoat in the empire during war. Costs double maintainence in enemy territory.
     
  2. otaman1

    otaman1 Prince

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2013
    Messages:
    2,697
    Moderator Action: Removed inappropriate content.
    Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889

    Iraqi Ba'ath Party
    Capital: Baghdad
    Leader: Saddam Hussein
    UA: Insane Dictatorship - Anyone who enters the territory automatically dies
    UU: Iraqi Armed Forces - replaces Infantry; bonus fighting in desert tiles; -20% combat strength when fighting in other tiles other than desert
    UB: Iraqi Special Forces - replaces Marine; cannot embark; can only paradrop; -20% combat strength when fighting in Forests and Jungles

    Communist Party of Kampuchea
    Leader: Pol Pot
    Capital: Phnom Penh
    UA: Massacre - Lose 2 citizens for every 5 citizens in all cities
    UU: Communist Kampuchea Army - replaces Infantry; -20% combat strength when fighting in open terrain
    UB: Catacomb - replaces Hospital; -50 food in the city; 40% chance of losing a citizen

    Galactic Empire
    Leader: Darth Vader
    Capital: Timira City
    UA: Star Wars - Have wars on other stars and planets
    UU: Stormtrooper - replaces XCOM Squad; can hump the air
    UU: Unidentified Flying Object - can transport units across the map; will be shot down by other civilizations even when not at war; Laser promotion
     
  3. AW Arcaeca

    AW Arcaeca Deus Vult

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2013
    Messages:
    2,958
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Operation Padlock ground zero
    PAPAL STATES
    Leader: Pope Urban II
    Capital: Vatican
    UA: Crusaders - +10% combat strength for units in enemy territory of a religion other than your own. Pre-industrial land units may be purchased with faith, price of purchasing units with faith halved with the Holy Warriors belief.
    UU: Knights Templar - Replaces Knight. 24:c5strength:, costs 130:c5production: or 550:c5faith:. 3:c5moves:. +10% combat strength if produced in a holy city. Gains faith for enemy units killed.
    UB: Temple of Solomon - Replaces Grand Temple. +10:c5faith:, +2:c5happy:, +1:c5gold:. Starts at 200:c5production: instead of 125.

    ABORIGINES
    Leader: Cumbo Gunnerah
    Capital: Gunnedah
    UA: Songlines - Output of Uluru becomes +8:c5faith:, +1:c5food:, +4:c5culture: +2 :c5happy:. +1 sight for units on desert and plains tiles.
    UU: Boomeranger - Replaces Archer. 7:c5rangedstrength:, range 1. Costs 30:c5production: +15% combat strength on open terrain.
    UI (Unique Improvement): Firestick Farm - Can be built on desert, plains and grassland. +1:c5food:, +1:c5culture:, +1:c5faith:. Additional +1:c5food: and +1:c5production: after Hunting is researched.
     
  4. godman85

    godman85 Warlord

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2012
    Messages:
    122
    Egypt - Ahkenaten

    UA - The one true god. Religious pressure is a fourth of normal pressure but citizens can not change beliefs.

    UU - Priest of Aten. steals local gold while spreading faith.

    UB - Temple of Aten. Must be built in capital. Increases faith generation by 6. Also blocks all tourism against the city holder.
     
  5. Lordleoz

    Lordleoz Prince

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2012
    Messages:
    399
    Location:
    Shanghai, China
    Roman Empire
    Leader: Emperor Nero
    Capital: Rome
    UA: Confiscate Properties - Can kill citizens or advisors to earn :c5gold: gold. +1 :c5unhappy: unhappy for each killing.
    UU: Legion - Same as the in-game legion.
    UB: Domus Aurea (Nero's Palace) - Replaces Palace. Costs 150 :c5production:, the cost rises by 50 per era. Can only be built in capital. Contains three slots for any type of great work. Provides +2.5 :c5strength: defense, 3 :c5gold: gold, 3 :c5science: science, 3 :c5production: production, 6 :c5culture: culture, and +20% :c5production: production when constructing wonders in this city. Must spend one turn to burn down the original palace in order to build it.
     
  6. Falconiano

    Falconiano Prince

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2013
    Messages:
    433
    Location:
    Italy
  7. Emperor Giulio

    Emperor Giulio King

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2008
    Messages:
    658
    Location:
    California
    Sorry about that

    Edit:

    Leader: Edward Hyde, 3rd Earl of Clarendon

    For anyone interested in a good laugh, should look this person up.
     
  8. VainoValkea

    VainoValkea Emperor

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2013
    Messages:
    1,569
    Location:
    The Harsh North
    Russia

    Leader: Ivan IV (a.k.a Ivan the Terrible)

    UA: Oprichnina - Can raze own cities for gold
     
  9. Lorf Yimzo

    Lorf Yimzo Atheist

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2013
    Messages:
    117
    Location:
    Empire of Colorado
    Republic of Texas

    Leader: Sam Houston

    UA: (Everything's Bigger) GP tiles have double yield, +1 happiness from every cattle, workers work twice as slow after modern era and four times as slow during Golden Ages.

    UU: (Redneck) 100% Combat Bonus in Marsh, -85% Combat Penalty everywhere else, 15% combat bonus on roads. Replaces Infantry.

    UB: (Rodeo) Requires a nearby source of cattle, +3 happiness, +4 gold, -25% production.
    OR
    (NASCAR Race Track) +2 happiness, +3 food, +2 gold, + 2 happiness if redneck is in city, -55% production.
     
  10. VainoValkea

    VainoValkea Emperor

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2013
    Messages:
    1,569
    Location:
    The Harsh North
    Zanzibar Land

    Leader: Jack (title: Big Boss)

    UA: Outer Heaven
    Purchasing military units is 50% cheaper. -1 visibility range for all infantry units.

    UU: Metal Gear REX (replaces GDR)
    Combat weakness against unescorted highly experienced infantry. Can launch untraceable nuclear missiles. *

    UU2: Super Soldier
    Replaces infantry. Like Kris swordsman, gets a random promotion, only instantly upon creation. Promotion set includes revolver twirling, psychic powers, foul language, long-range sniper attacks, photosynthesis and the ability to control bees. Not guaranteed to include common sense. Name of the unit is randomly assigned based on the promotion.



    * very useful, especially since you're the only one with this ability

    edit: note, does not replace Zanzibar the City-State because is actually nowhere near Zanzibar
     
  11. Emperor Giulio

    Emperor Giulio King

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2008
    Messages:
    658
    Location:
    California
    Civ: New World Order

    Theme music: The Star-Spangled Banner in reverse.

    Leader: The All-Seeing Eye (with the pyramid eye for a head on top of a businessman's body.)

    UU: Flying Saucer

    UA: Conspiracy Theory: Once internet is discovered, :c5science: decreases by 60% in rival civs.
     
  12. Moshe Dayan

    Moshe Dayan Da General

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2010
    Messages:
    310
    Location:
    Occupying the Sinai
    The Central African Empire

    Leader: Bokassa I

    UA: Imperial Decadence: Palace reduces :c5gold: output in :c5capital: capital by half.

    UU: Released prisoner: Worker replacement that has a low chance of pillaging existing improvements.

    UB: Bangui M'Poko International Airport: Replaces Airport. Reduces :c5rangedstrength: city ranged attack by 100% when under siege by France.
     
  13. AW Arcaeca

    AW Arcaeca Deus Vult

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    Gender:
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    Location:
    Operation Padlock ground zero
    SWITZERLAND
    Leader: Alois von Reding
    UA: Neutrality - Cannot declare war. +50% Combat strength in home territory. -33% spy stealing rate. -25% Unit Maintenance.
    UU: Cent-Suisses - Replaces pikemen. 20:c5strength:. Costs 120:c5production:. Gain double :c5influence: with city-states when gifting this unit. +50% vs Mounted Units, +10% vs Melee Units.
    UB: Käserie - Replaces market. Costs 100:c5production:. +2:c5gold:, +25%:c5gold:, +2:c5food:, +1:c5happy:.
     
  14. LanguishViking

    LanguishViking Warlord

    Joined:
    May 10, 2012
    Messages:
    104
    Love the Petain UA of puppeting own cities as well as the Somali work boat.


    Dan Quayle (from the bottom of the Civ leaders list)

    UA - P.O.T.A.T.O.E.
    -1 :c5food: per farm in city with no :c5science: specialist, +1 :c5food: per farm during :c5goldenage:

    UB - Frontier School
    Library replacement, available with agriculture, extra :c5science: specialist slot and half cost

    UU - Education Reformer
    Replaces :c5science: great person, can be expended to start a :c5goldenage: and cost does not increase as more great persons are created.
     
  15. Towerbooks3192

    Towerbooks3192 Chieftain

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2013
    Messages:
    37
    Location:
    Australia
    Sweden
    Leader: Markus "Notch" Persson

    UA: Minecraft - All mines and farms gain additional +2 :c5production:

    UU: Creepers - Replaces Cannon (when creepers attack, the unit is destroyed and it deals damage to adjacent units/cities and destroys all adjacent tile improvements.)

    UB: IKEA - Replaces Market and provides +1 :c5gold: / trade route and +1 :c5production: / forest or jungle tile adjacent to city.
     
  16. VainoValkea

    VainoValkea Emperor

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2013
    Messages:
    1,569
    Location:
    The Harsh North
    Kingdom of England

    Leader: William of Orange-Nassau
    UA: Glorious Revolution (no unrest, free courthouse in conquered cities which share your religion)



    Ottomans

    Leader: Mahmud II
    UA: Auspicious incident (disbanded military units' experience is converted to gold)
     
  17. ajok

    ajok Warlord

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2013
    Messages:
    102
    Location:
    Senapelan
    the leader is justin bieber :lol:
     
  18. otaman1

    otaman1 Prince

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2013
    Messages:
    2,697
    What if Canada was ruled by a singer?

    Singing Canadian Nation
    Leader: Justin Bieber
    Capital: Ottawa
    UA: Death Wish - Every Great People (except for Canadian Singers) dies when born
    UU: Canadian Singers - replaces Great Musician; causes resistance when Great Worked founded or creates a concert or landmark
    UB: Justin's Strip Club - -100000 unhappiness in all cities
     
  19. loserforsale

    loserforsale Chieftain

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2012
    Messages:
    59
    Magical Britain
    Leader: Albus Dumbledore (head of the Wizengamot, close enough)
    UA: Wizards' Duels: Any time you attack an enemy unit, lose 5 faith but gain +50% attack strength.
    UB: Hogwarts: replaces Public School. Does not give +3 science, but gives +8 faith per turn.
    UU: Express Train: replaces caravan. Appears automatically when a new trade route is unlocked; a nearby enemy city mysteriously loses production equal to the normal cost of a caravan.

    Volterra
    UA: Vampirism: upon destroying an enemy unit, all units heal 25HP.
    UU: Volturi Guard: replaces Great General. Melee unit with Strength 60.
     
  20. SmithRobloxian

    SmithRobloxian Warlord

    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2013
    Messages:
    163
    Due to how the thread died a bit, and how some people posted fictional Civs, I decided to post a little idea I had...

    1: From Jeb's bio on the KSP wiki: 'A few insider trading secrets from Jeb helped the KSP double their meager operations budget.' Hence the money boost.
    2: What were you expecting? A perfect launch? The Kerbals are most famous for their failed rockets.
    3: This is to show how, when a launch fails, the Kerbals just go and try again with a better design... As well as letting the Science Victory (Which they are built for) being actually achievable.
    4: Also, from Jeb's bio: 'One of his most ingenious coups was to buy a defunkt rocket engine factory for one symbolic dollar and form the company "Jebediah Kerman's Junkayard and Spaceship Parts Co.".'
    5: Sometimes, things are designed to go wrong, and due to how the kerbals always fail 60% of the time, it would be best to add in something to symbolize that as well. It also makes a good 'Non-Nuke Nuke' for when either the Nuclear Non-Proliferation is passed, or when you do not want to repair and clean up fallout after taking a enemy city.
     

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