The LAMEST jokes you can think of...

[jb1964]

Was told the brick joke back in 8th grade, 1977, and thought it was the funniest thing I had ever heard. Still think it's worth a chuckle.

 

[Syterion]

My English teacher has this thing where she posts a bad joke on the board every week. Her favorite one was this-

What's Green and has wheels?

Grass. I was lying about the wheels.

More-

What do you call a cow that has just given birth?

Decaffeinated.

She also appreciated people telling her bad jokes. I've got to tell her the stick one.

 

[Conqueror '91]

So there's this guy. He walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

I am so funny...

 

[Pirate]

How do you tell a boy chromosome from a girl chromosome?



You pull down its genes.

 

[nonconformist]

Just one I made up:

What do cows listen to?
Moosic!

An old one now:
A man goes to a party and sees a man with a banana in his ear. He goes up to him ad says "Excuse me, did you know you have a banana in your ear?"
"Pardon?"
"I said did you know you have a banana in your ear?"
"Sorry?"
"You have a banana in your ear."
"What?"
"YOU...HAVE...BANANA....IN.....YOUR.....EAR"
The other man replies "I'm sorry, I can't hear you, I've got a banana in my ear!"

 

[the mormegil]

That banana one is good. I wonder why it was in his ear...

 

[Lord Draegon]

Originally posted by Conqueror '91
So there's this guy. He walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"

I am so funny...

Someone told me that jokeawhile back and I thought it was the unniest ting on earth for awhile. Then a week later it suddenly wasnt funny anymore

knock knock
who's there
banana
banana who
knock knock
who's there
banana
banana who
knock knock
who's there
banana
banana who
knock knock
who's there
banana
banana who
knock knock
who's there
orange
orange who
orange you glad I didn't say banana

 

[The_Unforgiven]

Originally posted by Lord Draegon


Someone told me that jokeawhile back and I thought it was the unniest ting on earth for awhile. Then a week later it suddenly wasnt funny anymore

knock knock
who's there
banana
banana who
knock knock
who's there
banana
banana who
knock knock
who's there
banana
banana who
knock knock
who's there
banana
banana who
knock knock
who's there
orange
orange who
orange you glad I didn't say banana

I think that first week was VERY short in my case

 

[RegentMan]

If you're American in the living room, French in the dining room, and German in the bedroom, what are you in the bathroom?







European!!!

 

[The Person]

My thread is a success!



Well, here I go:

What did the loaf of bread say to the other loaf of bread?
Nothing. Bread can't talk.

And that Batmobile one was really hilarious. Not because it was lame, but because it was funny! Spam!

 

[philippe]

Why are women not men? Becuase they "wo" men

 

[nonconformist]

A boy fell over. He hurt himself



seriously though
What do you call a man with bananas in his ears?
Anything you want he can't hear you!

What do you call a bulldog with banabas in its ears?
Nothing, run away very fast.

What do you call a person with bananas, jelly and custard in their ears?
A trifle deaf!

 

[betazed]

I need to cool down from OT.

So here goes my contribution...

A guy came to his mother and said excitedly, "Mom! Finally I have got my Doctor of Philosophy!"

Mom said,"Great! Now what kind of disease is philosophy?"

 

[nonconformist]

What has wheels, concrete, and flies?
A rubbish truck, the concrete was to make it hard!

 

[lbhhh]

Batman joke is great

Lame joke:

What is black and white and red all over?


A newspaper

 

[SuperBeaverInc.]

Originally posted by Pirate
How do you tell a boy chromosome from a girl chromosome?



You pull down its genes.

Very funny Pirate. Definetly worth a chuckle.

Anyways, whats black and white and green and white and black?

Two skunks fighting over a pickle

 

[stratego]

What kind of bees make milk?
Boobees

Where does the general keep his armies?
In his sleevies.

 

[Achinz]

Originally posted by The Person
My thread is a success!

I wouldn't celebrate too much if the full meaning of the success is realised - tis just too easy to make lame jokes

Talking of which, did you hear the one about the dumb blond on the golf course who thought that one under par was incest?

 

[The Person]

Originally posted by the mormegil
This thread has jokes that make me laugh more than 'proper' ones.

Let's at least hope you laughed at their lameness. That's what this thread is for.

@Achinz
But what's difficult is making them lame enough to actually laugh at their lameness.

 

[Nightshade]

The neutron asked the proton, "Are you sure?"

The proton replied "Yes, I'm positive!"