The Llamast Jokes Thread... 3

[RobS]

Motto of the Leper Navy: All Hands On Deck!

 

[RobS]

My proctologist suggested I use ferns to clean out my system. His motto is: "With fronds like these, who needs enemas?"

 

[RobS]

It was recently learned that the chief structural engineer for the Titanic spoke with a lisp.
That's just unthinkable.

 

[RobS]

When the time came for my prostate exam, I asked the doctor where I could hang my pants. "Right over there by mine" was not an answer I was expecting.

 

[Gori the Grey]

I think I might have a career in porn, if I can learn the ins and outs.

 

[RobS]

I watched my first porn just the other day.
I looked so much younger then.

 

[RobS]

My 9-year-old told me that he wanted to be a pool skimmer or pizza delivery guy when he grows up.
I gotta tell my brother to hide his porn better.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

After my ex watched the first porno I acted in, she phoned me and commented, "You had a very small part".

 

[RobS]

I just found an origami porn channel, but it's paper view only.

 

[Broken_Erika]

I think i need to exercise my demons, they are getting quite chubby.

 

[Catharsis]

So it seems I shall not achieve my dream of being a famous writer after all, as my series of wedding-themed whodunnits was rejected by the publishers. Apparently they were "too predictable".

Sigh... always the bridesmaid.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Sorry I took my pants off at your 'gender reveal' party.
I wasn't familiar with the rules.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Meteorologists have discovered how to weigh rainbows...
They're pretty light.

 

[RobS]

I was assigned the male gender at birth, but according to Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, I'm a family of four.

 

[RobS]

The wife and I got into fisticuffs again last night. At one point, I threw a punch aimed at her chin and just barely missed. Luckily I hit the two below it.

 

[RobS]

During the prostate exam, the doctor said there's nothing to be uncomfortable about, that it's perfectly normal to get an erection during the procedure. I told him I never get an erection during a prostate exam, to which he replied, "Oh, not you."

 

[Uncle Sparky]

I do hope the Archbishop of Canterbury has been made aware that September 19th is
International Talk Like a Pirate Day.
That, I would watch

 

[RobS]

Three French cats, Henri, Pierre, and Un-Deux-Trois, decided they wanted to try swimming the English Channel. Henri and Pierre made it, but Un-Deux-Trois cat sank.

 

[RobS]

My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs. I've been his customer for 6 years and I had no idea he was a barber.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

What sound does a cow make when it runs out of milk?
Nothing. There is udder silence.