The Mandelbrot Affair

[Robdude66]

Subbed.

EDIT: And onto page 2.

 

[krc]

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The Berlin Guards continued to explore distant regions of the continent, meeting Geneva and Sidon in the south.

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With assistance from the Berlin Archers, another barbarian camp was sacked, and the surviving youths joined the German army.

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German science continued its advance, discovering masonry, construction, sailing, and bronze working in rapid succession. Having heard rumors of a harder substance known as iron, German scientists began trying to learn how to work with it.

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Hamburg finished a library and started on a colosseum.

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Munich finished their water mill and began recruiting new settlers. For some reason, the Germans were convinced that when iron was finally discovered, none of it would be located near any of their existing cities.

 

[krc]

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As their culture advanced, the Germans became pious. This development may have been a reaction to their centuries-long quest to discover the true source and true meaning of fractals. A large (but changing) fraction of the German population had become convinced that higher powers were withholding these secrets, and that only by increasing their piety and devotion would those secrets finally be revealed.

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Shortly thereafter, the Germans entered a Golden Age. Historians are still undecided on whether these events were related.

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The increased productivity during their golden age helped the Germans successfully complete the construction of the pyramids near their capital city of Berlin.

 

[krc]

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After building the pyramids, the German golden age continued. The German leader, Heinrich the Cautious (another Bismarck), argued convincingly that constructing a Great Wall was the obvious next step in their evolution as the dominant civilization in the world. It would slow the approach of barbarians and other foreigners who might pose a military threat. And it would enhance the German reputation as master engineers.

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A short time later, Germans made a scientific breakthrough by discovering the secrets of iron working. German policy had looked forward to this development; the plan was to improve the weapons wielded by the numerous brute squads who had flocked to the German banner. Those troops would then serve as the nucleus of a strike force that would make the German name feared throughout both the civilized and the uncivilized world. Unfortunately, however, the pessimists in Munich were proved correct. No sources of iron were to be found anywhere within the confines of the current German sphere of influence. In fact, the nearest iron mines were to the west of the Chinese civilization, in the deserts between China and Siam. Serious policy arguments were voiced around the German conference tables.
-- We have a large armed force. Even our cudgel-armed brutes are more than a match for those effete Chinese in their silk robes. I say we pummel them and force a route through to the iron mines.
-- I'm not so sure. They have plenty of their own cudgel-armed defenders, and I've seen several troops of archers moving about near their borders. They have been friendly so far. Why not move a settler through to claim our own iron mines and retain friendly relations with the Chinese?
-- A better strategy would be to ally with a city-state who can supply us with iron. Only after we have a secure supply should we decide on the next step.
Heinrich the Cautious was also indecisive. So he decided to wait and see how things developed....

 

[NinjaCow64]

Subbed.

Hilarious by the way!

I should really do a Civ V story (after I finish Alexander CT, of course).

 

[krc]

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German explorers continued pressing on toward the west. They met the city-state of Stockholm.

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They also met the leaders of two more major civilizations: Darius of Persia and Napoleon of France. As usual, whenever the Germans encountered previously unknown peoples, they asked many questions about fractals. The conversations with the Persians and the French were particularly fruitful. Both of these peoples reported tales of a great and wise leader somewhere in the far west. The details were fragmented and unclear, since the tales were so old. Either the wise one was named Mandelbrot, or else his title was The Mandelbrot. Either way, his followers adored him, and told many tales of his wisdom and his adventures. The written records were sparse, and appeared somewhat corrupted. Many of the details seemed to repeat themselves in different places. Minor quests in individual stories paralleled the structure of the overall quest. Subplots reiterated the overall narrative. People and events seemed to be repeated over and over again. The one thing that all the stories did agree on, however, was that The Mandelbrot resided in the uttermost west.

 

[krc]

Spoiler :

While Heinrich the Cautious dithered, the German people took certain matters into their own hands. German schoolchildren saved their pfennige. German hausfraus went without butter for entire days. Frugal German workers contributed their lunch money (but not their beer money). When enough gold was collected, they insisted that Heinrich use it to ally with the city-state of Dublin. The territory of Dublin already incorporated one source of iron, and looked likely to expand to absorb a second. If the Dubliners (who also liked their beer) could be convinced to start mining that iron, they would surely share it with their new and generous German allies.

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Some years later, construction was completed on the Great Wall of Germany.

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In those days, Berlin was the most wonderful city in the world. Tourists flocked from distant lands to see the Great Wall. They were especially fascinated by the way it appeared, from a distance, to slice through both Stonehenge and the Pyramids. Clever German businessmen realized that if they built a colosseum, they could put on regular concerts and laser-light shows (once they discovered lasers) and attract even more tourists. The prospects of these lucrative opportunities (as well as the concerts) would also contribute to happiness in all parts of the German empire.

 

[krc]

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The next German scientific advance was the development of the civil service. Prior to that time, all service throughout Germany was uncivil. This development opened up a new era in German culture.

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As their culture advanced, the Germans adopted representation and entered another Golden Age.

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The Germans founded a new city, Frankfurt, on the coast at the mouth of a river. As usual, they started building a monument.

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Meanwhile, in the deserts between Siam and France, German archers had been demolishing another barbarian camp. The barbarian youths in the camp, as so many had done before them, decided that rampaging about beating up on strangers was an admirable past-time, and quickly joined the growing German army.

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The German leader at that time was Heinz Otto Klaus Bismarck. His rule was characterized by peaceful relations with all of Germany's (non-barbarian) neighbors. He had a particular interest in the development of agriculture, importing plants and seeds from all nations and establishing them first in his own gardens and then throughout the country. He introduced cultivation of the tomato plant. There was some debate about whether the tomato was a fruit (because it had seeds) or a vegetable. Heinz argued strongly that it was a red fruit, like the cherry. He even tried making a version of Black Forest Cake in which the cherries were replaced by tomatoes. (This was not one of his more successful innovations.)
German scientists also made breakthroughs in Mathematics. A historian at the time compiled the first complete history of the German people. By his calculations, 56 different Bismarcks had ruled Germany before the inauguration of the current ruler. The historian tried to introduce a convention similar to that used by other nations who informally refer to their presidents by numbers when they have the same last name. As a result, the current ruler became known as Heinz 57th. Marketers later tried to exploit his famous name and his well-known association with agriculture.

 

[krc]

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Berlin completed its colosseum. They decided that pyramid-capped monuments in all of their cities and the great Pyramids themselves were not enough; they started building yet another pyramidal wonder, Chichen Itza.

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Munich recruited a landsknecht unit and started on its own colosseum.

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Hamburg completed a colosseum and started outfitting a fleet of triremes.

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In the north, the Munich-raised landsknechts reduced another barbarian camp, and another brute squad joined the German army.

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German scientists developed currency. They started researching theology, with a view toward developing education and the opportunity to construct universities.

 

[krc]

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Germany maintained friendly relations with most of her neighbors.

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One of the reasons it was so easy for Germany to remain on good terms with other nations is that they were busy bickering with each other. France was at war with Siam and Persia. France had also denounced and been denounced by India and China.

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With France as everyone's favorite target, Germany could develop peacefully in the far east.

 

[krc]

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As planned, Germany became an engineering stronghold. A Great Engineer, Wilhelm Schickard, was born in Berlin.

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Shortly thereafter, Germany discovered theology.

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Schickard was dispatched to Munich, which started constructed on the Hagia Sophia.

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Schickard was consumed by his desire to hurry production of the wonder.

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In 125AD, the Hagia Sophia was completed in Munich.

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Munich then began to recruit another band of settlers.

 

[DefoesRightBoot]

I congratulate you on the excellent Heinz 57 gag, well played sir!

 

[Pouakai]

Brilliant work, especially the Heinz 57. Bravo, looking foward to your next update with eager anticipation

 

[Bob_]

Schickard was consumed by his desire to hurry production of the wonder.

I wonder how many more german names you can come up with... If you need some, contact me

 

[Lose]

good read and subbed

 

[krc]

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Hamburg completed recruiting a fleet of triremes, which was sent to explore around the northern end of the continent. Using the iron imported from Dublin, they also began constructing catapults.

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Cologne built a library. German troops liked spending their summers along the isthmus which stimulated the local economy, so Cologne started building a market.

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Berlin completed their next pyramid-shaped wonder (Chichen Itza), and started writing a national epic. The epic was dedicated to the current Bismarckian ruler, Clovis the Middle-Aged. Clovis had stomped around Berlin impatiently while his father ruled the country well into his dotage, and did not take power until well into his fifties. Nothing of any significance happened during his rule.

 

[krc]

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When their culture made its next great leap forward, Germans replaced their disorganized religion with an organized one.

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The Germans discovered education. When they were educated, they learned how to construct universities. It is not clear how they had become educated before there were universities. For that matter, it is still not clear how they become educated by attending universities; most scientists spend their days thinking abstract thoughts about things like fractals, and don't really want to be interrupted by having to waste their time dealing with students.

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Munich and Frankfurt both started constructing markets. Apparently, this era also saw the discovery of shopping, which had not existed previously in the German empire. Fortunately, they did not invent the shopping mall until much, much later.

 

[krc]

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During the reign of Gerhard the Simple, the German trireme fleet in the north discovered the land of Greece, and were met by Alexander. German explorers tried to engage Alexander and his court in a discussion of fractals, but they kept getting distracted and breaking into song. (In another life, Alexander was a member of the Lovin' Spoonful, and co-wrote the song "Did you ever have to make up your mind?") Distrusting the expressions of friendship from the Greeks, the German explorers left quickly.

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The settlers who had left Munich years earlier finally agreed on a suitable location and founded the city of Essen. To the surprise of absolutely no one, they began constructing a monument with a pyramidal cap.

 

[krc]

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Germany, which had previously raised a Great Engineer, finally discovered engineering. How did they know that their earlier great person was an engineer and not an architect?

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With the exception of Gandhi, everyone that the Germans had met so far were extremely friendly. More and more German soldiers spent their summers (and fall and spring) on the beaches along the isthmus of Cologne. In winters, they went back to their home cities and looked for strangers they could beat up.

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In the north, beyond Greece, German triremes encountered the city-state of Seoul.

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German scientists discovered the secret of metal casting, allowing them to construct workshops and forges. The German soldiers were not particularly impressed by this development, since they did not understand that it was a critical step on the road toward the development of steel and the training of longswordsmen. The soldiers had gotten off the beaches and were spending their time swimming and surfing off the coast of China.

 

[Lose]

keep it up!