The Rules of Being a Man

[CurtSibling]

No. I called YOU and POOF.

You're claimed, wee man!

I will conclude this spamfest by downing 200 bottles of buckfast to prove my manish-ness.

.

 

[The Last Conformist]

Being a real man is for wimps.

 

[Hitro]

I think Curt is a hottie.

Except for that I can subscribe to "following" those rules. Not that I had ever heard them as rules before, I just am like that.

The bill thing however shouldn't be taken to an extreme. Offer politely to pay and be silently happy if someone else wants to do it more.

 

[nonconformist]

And I just love the Hermann's thighs in his supple Liederhosen, and knee-highs.

 

[Bozo Erectus]

Real men dont eat quiche.

 

[Mise]

It's not a man's duty to insist on paying the bill, it's everyone's duty to insist on paying the bill. I do it, and all of my friends do it. It isn't a "man thing" to do, just a politeness that often gets out of hand. ("I'll pay." No, I want to pay!" "Hey, why don't you two just let me pay?")

If a girl says she wants to pay she really wants you to pay, unless she absolutely insists on paying, in which case she's feeling guilty for something.

Oh, and another thing, there's nothing wrong with saying another guy looks sexy, as long as it's a joke, in which case it's simply to express exactly how 'ok' you are with your sexuality and that you're not threatened by a little gay joke. You're also allowed to judge other guy's appearences, but only insofar as you 'know what a hot guy looks like'.

 

[Syterion]

I put my arm around other guys' shoulders. I wouldn't say it's wierd.

 

[Bozo Erectus]

I would say it

 

[Hitro]

I put my arm around other guys' shoulders. I wouldn't say it's wierd.

Only acceptable if either:

1. You just lost in a sporting or other competition, as alluded by Ram.

2. At least one of you but better both are completely drunk.

 

[The Last Conformist]

I would say it

When it comes to everyday etiquette and decorum, you're an arch-paleoconsie.

 

[nonconformist]

When it comes to everyday etiquette and decorum, you're an arch-paleoconsie.

Another rule: always use the same lanugage as the lowest-denominater, unless trying to batter opposition into submission using long words.

 

[Rambuchan]

Ive youre broke and a woman has to pay for your meal, theres no way to avoid feeling like a bum. But if you a get a buddy to pay for your meal, its wonderful

Ain't that the double truth Ruth.

 

[Rambuchan]

Another rule: always use the same lanugage as the lowest-denominater, unless trying to batter opposition into submission using long words.

Can you simplify this for us please?

I have now added some of the suggested rules into the OP, well I will be after this.

 

[nonconformist]

Can you simplify this for us please?

I have now added some of the suggested rules into the OP, well I will be after this.

You no speak big.

 

[Bozo Erectus]

When it comes to everyday etiquette and decorum, you're an arch-paleoconsie.

Took me a minute to figure that one out. In some respects I am, theres no denying it. No offense guys but if we ever meet at an OT convention or something, lets keep physical contact to a minimum, Im not exactly a touchy feely type of guy

 

[Hitro]

Another rule: always use the same lanugage as the lowest-denominater, unless trying to batter opposition into submission using long words.

No, that's wrong.

Language is a means of showing intellectual superiority, it has in your context nothing to do with man vs. metro.

It is however highly inappropriate for a man to call anything besides an attractive female "cute".

 

[King Alexander]

RULE 1 ~ Never say that another man is good-looking.

It is totally unacceptable for a heterosexual man to comment on another man's looks. The furthest you can go is to compliment a bloke on his shirt, shoes, suit or tie. Definitely not his hair, complexion, after shave, thighs or six pack . If you think it, then stop.
[/QUOTE]
Why not? If the discussion - of the company - mentions it, I can say my opinion if I want/feel to.
As for the shirt/shoes/suit/tie, they're things that I'll very-very rarely comment on because I don't care, unless, they're really 'unique' and made a huge impression on me.

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RULE 2 ~ Never talk to a man you don't know whilst at the urinal and certainly never peak over into his cubicle.

The only outside chance of there being an exception here is if you are both clearly shi*-faced drunk. But then the topics of conversation need to be monitored closely to ensure it does not descend into a homosexual encounter. And always keep your eyes up and to the wall when talking.

You tell me, when someone goes to the toilet, he will begin discussions with a stranger? For what reason? The toilet is sacred!(remembering Al Buddy from Love and Married?)

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RULE 3 ~ Refrain from sending each other birthday cards.

This is for women to do, alright? You should not even know when your mate's birthday is.

I don't send a birthday card to anyone else except my family members, and that's when I'm at another city or at another country
I try to remember my best buddy's birthday to phone him(or to make a party/going to a party): don't feel even a bit 'less' man of doing so.

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RULE 4 ~ Physical contact must be closely monitored. This is broken down as follows:

a) No holding hands ever. Hand shake must be firm and the duration dependant on familiarity.

I don't hold hands with anyone while walking, even my girlfriends(very rarely do so).
Hand shakes I do.

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RULE 6 ~ You must offer your coat when a lady is cold.

Some things never change. You must still presume that she is fragile and incapable of protecting herself.

Why not offer to hug her? (j/k)

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RULE 7 ~ It is now OK to moisturise. (check exceptions)

We are now allowed / supposed to take pride in our appearance. This means you can go over board on hair wax and moisturisers.

NOTE: This still excludes the use of brands like Oil of Ulay or anything with pink on the label. Nivea is now bordeline into macho. You want to be using starkly designed creams that smell like shi*e if you are a true heterosexual male.

Hey, apart from the 'beginning of my shaving career', I don't even use after-shave anymore I'm a tough male

 

[nonconformist]

No, that's wrong.

Language is a means of showing intellectual superiority, it has in your context nothing to do with man vs. metro.

It is however highly inappropriate for a man to call anything besides an attractive female "cute".

Indubitably, I consider the statment previously expressed as completely unerroneous, and is a stapel in the quasi-hierarchical machivellian societal structure we currently inhabit, while maintaining the dignity of being homo sapiens sapiens and maintaining that existant, yet humble, superiority.

 

[Bozo Erectus]

Im not sure, but I think the big words are supposed to make some sort of sense

 

[Stile]

Good list of rules Rambuchan. (except the last one, I think you're only allowed to wear lotion while playing the field, once you are in a committed relationship of any duration a man who wears lotion should be referred to as whipped)

Suntan Lotion Rule: Never apply lotion to another man's back unless that man is a close relative and then only in the complete absense of women. If a friend nags you into breaking this rule you then must only apply a smear of lotion with no rubbing unless you are trying hide the spelling of a word or drawing of a picture.