The Rules of Being a Man

[Rambuchan]

Obviously they're there for piercing!

Yeah I mean what else are you gonna.... HEAVY DUTY MODERATOR ACTION: Ram you filthy pron monger, I'm this close to banning you outright for that.

Last edited by ~ God.

 

[mrtn]

Gents, I get what you are saying about the Nipple Rule. But I think the discomfort is perhaps due to the wrong perspective you are taking on it. See it is not really a Rule as such. It is more a form of Guidance. A tool for a man to arm himself with in the terrible even that such a question is posed to him. Answer me this. What would you have said when someone asked you:

Why do men have nipples?

(and mere repetition of the guidance line will simply confirm the need to have the rule / guidance line)

And if someone asked you "why do men have an appendix?", would you need a guidance line from The Rules of Man for that, or just answer that "it's just a freak of evolution and nothing to worry about"?

I need my nipples as much as I need my appendix, and I'd rather be quit them both.

 

[Rambuchan]

And if someone asked you "why do men have an appendix?", would you need a guidance line from The Rules of Man for that, or just answer that "it's just a freak of evolution and nothing to worry about"?

I need my nipples as much as I need my appendix, and I'd rather be quit them both.

Are you suggesting you would also pierce your appendix?

 

[mrtn]

Are you suggesting you would also pierce your appendix?

No.

Male nipples are boring. My nipples are completely uninteresting 99% of the time, and the rest of the time they're a nuisance.

PS. Any drilling jokes will be severely frowned upon.

 

[Rambuchan]

No.

Male nipples are boring. My nipples are completely uninteresting 99% of the time, and the rest of the time they're a nuisance.

PS. Any drilling jokes will be severely frowned upon.

Granted and accepted. My Nipples are being removed. I mean the Nipple Rule is being removed.

This kind of legislation does tend to get forced through without due public debate. We live in difficult times gents, the Nipple Rule was simply a reaction to that.

 

[feline_dacat]

Are there any rules about piercings that men follow? When asking Mise his opinion on which ear i should get my industrial piercing in, he told me that men gets their ears pierced should follow the guideline of "Right ear, right queer" but it doesn't apply for women...
Are there any other gems like that regarding piercings?

PS you males are such a funny lot!

 

[Bozo Erectus]

Men dont get piercings.

 

[farting bob]

Ears no. Eyebrow is acceptable (a ring, not stud). Lip peircings are ok if its a big scary spike, to show your manlyness. say you stabbed it through yourself whilst pouring vinegar on it to really show off.

 

[Bozo Erectus]

The vinegar is a nice touch, I have to admit.

 

[mrtn]

I have a friend who pierced his nose with a staple gun. He realised that he needed something to put up his nostril, so as not staple through it (and into the sinus). He put his finger up there, and only afterwards realised that he had stapled his finger to his nose.

 

[feline_dacat]

I have a friend who pierced his nose with a staple gun. He realised that he needed something to put up his nostril, so as not staple through it (and into the sinus). He put his finger up there, and only afterwards realised that he had stapled his finger to his nose.

...
Oh my gosh - that story is as good as Mise's friends from school! I'll leave it for him to tell the story though!

 

[The Last Conformist]

Men dont get piercings.

Bozo speaks the truth.

As for nipples, they're just glorified sweat glands. Mammalian evolution doesn't come with a rejig sweat glands for just one sex button.

Men's nipples are fully functional, BTW; you just need the appropriate hormone cocktail to get them started.

 

[kingjoshi]

A good LA Times article on this.

Shifting into neutered
The lunchtime tutorial on being a man didn't take -- and that's just fine.
Joel Stein

April 4, 2006

I'VE NEVER been the manliest guy. As a kid I had all female friends, loved musicals, owned an Easy-Bake Oven, had a sticker collection and freely told people that my favorite character in "Star Wars" was C-3PO, a robot so gay they gave him a British voice. I was able to find the one gay thing about "Star Wars." That's like going to a strip club because you like dance music.

And it's only gotten worse since I moved to L.A., where straight men wear shirts with prints on them and jeans with holes in suspicious places. After just three months of living here, I had gotten Lasik, a creme brulee torch and a yellow Mini Cooper convertible.

To stem the tide, I had lunch with Norah Vincent, a former L.A. Times columnist who spent more than a year undercover as a man for her new book, "Self-Made Man: One Woman's Journey Into Manhood and Back Again." One of the tips she apparently failed to pick up from my gender was to not use so many words.

Still, if anyone knew how to butch someone up, it was Vincent. So I took her to lunch in New York and asked for some advice.

Right away, Vincent, a 5-foot-10 lesbian, noticed that my handshake was neither strong nor assertive. Also, my eyes were too gentle. "That's a sign of weakness. That will not get you women," she said. "Make your eyes harder. When you look at people, think mean thoughts." She was making the last part easy.

Vincent suggested that I take some vocal training to lower my voice, as she did for her book. "It's not the timbre but the intonation. You're a questioner. You don't have the sense that you know exactly what you're talking about." Apparently, I talk like a Canadian.

She's right. A few months ago, I Googled an article on some blog about how my voice on the radio is the voice of a "neuter … educated and acculturated out of … any gender at all."

Apparently, I'm not sure of myself, which makes me unmanly. Also, it seems to cause me to Google myself a lot.

To fix this, Vincent suggested that I "project more authority. More ego. Less emotional accessibility. Don't be available for elaboration. Give them a very terse answer. Become a little more autistic." What I needed to do was bark orders. Like for the omelet with ratatouille and goat cheese I was ordering for lunch.

Even the way I sat was completely wrong. I kind of crossed my legs. This horrified her.

"Maybe Brad Pitt could sit like that," she said. "But Brad Pitt could wear a pearl necklace and get away with it." She suggested that I spread my legs as far apart as possible, which didn't sound very manly until she explained it: "Take up more space than you should because you're entitled to it."

Feeling more than a little emasculated, especially after being accused of having something called "sweet boy sneakers," I started to brag about wanting to cheat on my wife all the time. This didn't work at all. "The fact that you're able to identify and articulate your emotions puts you miles ahead of most guys," she said.

After we shared some beignets and hot chocolate, Vincent looked me up and down and said that I might be a wuss, but I was definitely not gay. "A gay man would have put more thought into his ensemble." It was the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me.

The truth is, I don't mind being a little neutered. Gender is so primary in our society that we spend all this effort exaggerating our sex — hair, makeup, boob jobs, weight-lifting, sitting through NCAA games. And now that technology and societal changes have created a sea of liminal characters in the way of transsexuals, cross-dressers and gays, the rest of us are even more desperate to assert the purity of our chromosomes.

But I don't like myself when I fall into the easy, learned patterns of masculinity. I don't like that I've learned not to cry, that I get real quiet during fights, that I always have to be in charge, that I judge women first by how they look. And if questioning all of that has made me undesirably sexless, I can live with that. Plus it will keep anyone from cheating with me

source

 

[Jawz II]

Men dont get piercings.

not true, i have 2 in rings in left ear.

today i met one of the scariest people i know (to the rest of you, i fear no man, but many women) this dude has been in jail 9 times.

he had a new piercing in his left ear, it was a big silver ring, like the kind old gypsy women have in the movies.

that somehow made him look even nastier, which is not easy.
normally he looks like a giant rat walking around with bad fading tattoos, scars and the redneck haircut with the sideburns and handlebar mustasch.

 

[MattJek]

i fear no man, but many women

You fear women?? ...............................

 

[Rambuchan]

I must say the LA Times reporter lost me pretty damn quick.

I'VE NEVER been the manliest guy. As a kid I had all female friends, loved musicals,................

 

[kingjoshi]

i fear no man, but many women

You fear women?? ...............................

His avatar is just a cover

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have s*x with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary. I don't buy this for one minute, plenty of reasons to talk to a woman for ages on the phone. It's phones that are the problem here anyway, not women.

Only time you talk to women should be telling them when and where you'll have sex with them. Everything else is superflous.

"Real Man"

I must say the LA Times reporter lost me pretty damn quick.

The article is still funny though! The anti-thesis to the "real man"

 

[Jawz II]

i fear no man, but many women

You fear women?? ...............................

sure i do. like for example, i fear yo momma!

 

[Sidhe]

Well if you think there are rules for sexuality then your sadly living in different times, as I wonder through my local heavy metal pub all of them have been broken, and thank progress for that.

I'll pierce whatever ear toe left nostril I see fit and if that makes me gay then I'm as bent as a nine bob note. These social conventions are hilarious. Who cares. Be an individual, if people think your gay take the piss out of them. I like being straight but after you see a man who wears dresses and pierces every orifice on his body who is totally straight, you have to wonder exactly what straight is? It's a misconception to belive anythign you do wear or feel makes you anything but what you are. The apparel is gay the man inside is whatever he is. Take your preconcieved notions with you when you've seen what I've seen. Most hilarious moment I ever saw was a guy turn up to both his girlfriends Hen night in a dress( he later went with his mates) and with heavy make up and his stag night in a suit, now that is just class

I think Mr Billy Bragg once said Sexuality: your laws do not apply to me.

Wise man.

 

[Sidhe]

Well if you think there are rules for sexuality then your sadly living in different times, as I wonder through my local heavy metal pub all of them have been broken, and thank progress for that.

I'll pierce whatever ear toe, left nostril I see fit and if that makes me gay then I'm as bent as a nine bob note. These social conventions are hilarious. Who cares. Be an individual, if people think your gay take the piss out of them. I like being straightly dressed, it suits me, but after you see a man who wears dresses and pierces every orifice on his body who is totally straight, you have to wonder exactly what straight is? It's a misconception to believe anything you do wear or feel makes you anything but what you are. The apparel is gay the man inside is whatever he is. Take your preconceived notions with you when you've seen what I've seen. Most hilarious moment I ever saw was a guy turn up to both his girlfriends Hen night in a dress and with heavy make up and his stag night in a suit all in the same evening, now that is just class Oh and he much preferred his usual image of dress wearing and make up. That's how you usually saw him.

I think Mr Billy Bragg once said Sexuality: your laws do not apply to me.

Wise man.