The Very Many Questions-Not-Worth-Their-Own-Thread Thread XXXII

[Borachio]

I can't see much wrong with it in principle, myself.

The chances of you two getting along and/or having a lot in common are pretty low, in my fatalistic opinion. (Given the low cultural capital of most 17 year olds, and the general social ineptness of 21 year old males who haven't yet plucked up enough courage to successfully ask a female out. Or whatever.)

So, even if you do meet up, it seems unlikely the relationship is going to amount to anything.

And if it does (two or three years down the line), well then, good luck to the pair of you. And two fingers up to a bigoted prejudiced world, I say.

 

[Lemon Merchant]

I asked this question of a few of my colleagues at the hospital today. The majority of them thought it was all right because you are only four years older (or less) than she is, and the legal age of consent had a lot to do with their thoughts, as well.

A number of us thought that if you plan on dating this girl seriously or plan to become intimate, then you should make sure it is OK with her parents. One of the doctors, who has a teenage girl, said that he would hope that the age range would be a little tighter between a prospective boyfriend and his daughter, but wouldn't complain too much unless the guy was older than 21. With him, a lot also depended on the character of the young man.

There is the answer of some nurses and psychiatrists for ya. Enjoy.

And seriously, check with her parents. <-- From me.

 

[The_J]

How are you going to do that? I mean...realistically?
Whatever comes out of it, it'll sound like "Is it okay if I eff your daughter?".
Yeah...not gonna happen.

And right @warpus , this is a numbers game. If you haven't had dates yet, then because you haven't asked enough. But agreeing on that also makes me a hypocrite .

And it probably should go into the rants thread, I failed at exactly that today. (the answer would've been very obviously a no from her reaction to my question before, so I didn't bother asking). Well, next week next girl. (luckily there are exactly 2 interesting ones in my Salsa class)

 

[Valka D'Ur]

How are you going to do that? I mean...realistically?
Whatever comes out of it, it'll sound like "Is it okay if I eff your daughter?".
Yeah...not gonna happen.

Why make assumptions about what might not happen (the girl could very well say no)? Just making sure it's okay with the parents if he wants to date their underage daughter would be a good start.

 

[Lemon Merchant]

How are you going to do that? I mean...realistically?
Whatever comes out of it, it'll sound like "Is it okay if I eff your daughter?".
Yeah...not gonna happen.

Well, not if you put it that way.

Tact... diplomacy... guile...

Seriously, I don't think any parent wants to think about their daughter being sexually active, but it will happen sooner or later whether they like it or not. And I was speaking more to the question "May I date your daughter?" Not "May I have my way with your daughter?"

 

[Arakhor]

Try something innocuous like "may I take your daughter to this dance?" (or other large social arena)

Failing that, offer to take her to the cinema and turn up at her parents' house 10 mins early to reassure them that you're a perfectly normal specimen of humanity.

 

[Takhisis]

I am at least 83% certain that Israel has more than one attractive female. Some of them may even be older than 17.

Bar Refaeli
Gal Gadot

profit!

 

[Synobun]

Yeah, @Mouthwash, why don't you ask out Gal Gadot instead?

 

[Lemon Merchant]

Gal Godot is MIIIINNNNE!!!!! Keep your mitts off of her.

 

[Takhisis]

OK, hang on to Godot. We'll go for the lovely Gal Gadot instead.

 

[Mouthwash]

Ah, but Gal Gadot is already married:

(Yes, that is a real picture.)

 

[Lemon Merchant]

OK, hang on to Godot. We'll go for the lovely Gal Gadot instead.

Ahhhh. Stupid Google. I thought YOU guys had misspelled it so I looked it up. Google gave me "Godot" instead.

I hate search engines.

It's all for the best though. She probably wouldn't give me the time of day. And she smokes. Yuckkk!

 

[Timsup2nothin]

While the opinions of psychologists and nurses are valuable, the opinion you really need is the opinion of a lawyer. I suggest framing the question this way:

If I do everything as recommended; ie make sure to meet the parents, get their approval by demonstrating what a fine young but not quite as young gentleman I am and the good intentions I have towards their daughter, and then take her out on one or more totally innocent dates, is there anything that keeps them (her and her parents) from having a change of heart, offering false testimony, and completely destroying my future?

I am pretty sure what the answer from the lawyer is going to be, how about you?

 

[Mouthwash]

Um. I don't think I asked the question you think you're responding to.

 

[hobbsyoyo]

While the opinions of psychologists and nurses are valuable, the opinion you really need is the opinion of a lawyer. I suggest framing the question this way:

If I do everything as recommended; ie make sure to meet the parents, get their approval by demonstrating what a fine young but not quite as young gentleman I am and the good intentions I have towards their daughter, and then take her out on one or more totally innocent dates, is there anything that keeps them (her and her parents) from having a change of heart, offering false testimony, and completely destroying my future?

I am pretty sure what the answer from the lawyer is going to be, how about you?

This actually happened to a guy I knew. He was a couple years older than this his girlfriend (He was 18, she was 16, age of consent in the state is 17) and her parents didn't like him. The tolerated him until he got her pregnant, at which point they turned him into the police and ruined his life. He went to prison as a pedo, got out and married her. They've been together a decade now and the parents regret their actions but they can't undo it. He can't let his daughter have sleepovers and has to live far outside of town thanks to all the restrictions on pedos and he's a registered sex offender.

Now that sexting is a thing, this type of scenario is going to play out a whole lot more frequently than before as parents turn in boyfriends/girlfriends to the police after finding sexts between them as their way of breaking up the relationship.

 

[Takhisis]

Ahhhh. Stupid Google. I thought YOU guys had misspelled it so I looked it up. Google gave me "Godot" instead.

I hate search engines.

It's all for the best though. She probably wouldn't give me the time of day. And she smokes. Yuckkk!

After seeing those legs, I have to correct your statement to ‘she's smokin' (hot)’.

 

[GenMarshall]

I've gave online dating a try and I'm somehow baffled on how women see me handsome when feel that I look ugly. Is there something that I'm not seeing? Or am I gonna have to chalk it up to Yoda's saying "You must unlearn, what you have learned"?

 

[The_J]

Looks are so much in the eye of the beholder... just believe it.
Unless they ask for money, then don't.

 

[Synobun]

You have a stereotypically poor view of yourself so that likely plays a significant part as well.

Not a judgement, as I have the same problem these days.

You can use these events as a means to help yourself improve your self-image, though. That's always nifty.

 

[civvver]

I dated a 17 year old when I was 22 for a short time. It was all legal of course, but ultimately we had nothing in common and she was very immature. She probably was mature for her age but compared to what I wanted she wasn't. I barely had anything in common with 20 year olds in college at that time in my life, since I lived alone in a house I owned, worked a 9-5, didn't really party.

So there's nothing technically wrong with your age difference, but going from secondary school age to college to real life past college are all huge transitions. It would matter if you were both 25, you're at drastically different places in your life plan so you might struggle to connect on some things.

Also I met my wife shortly after we broke up and she still makes fun of me for it. So there's that. If you do hit it off, in a couple years no one will care anyway. So I wouldn't worry about it.